That’s it
Girl’s, how long have you been holding that fart?
After a few months of dating and holding them in, those farts and all future ones earn their freedom. My boyfriend now blames the cats when he smells something, which is very nice of him.
My now wife hid them from me for about 3 or 4 months. She’s more flatulent than me. Always to think about how hush hush it has to be before everything comes out. I farted in front of her within days of our first kiss.
Why don’t some of you high five me when I get drunk? When I’m drunk enough, I highfive EVERYONE on the street! Never been high five rejected by a guy on the bar crawl, and some women are happy to high five…but some get defensive, and reserved, like they think my hand is poison!
Y U NO HIGH FIVE???
In my case it’s because often even the slightest bit of humor or attention or willingness to play along with the bit gets me way more unwanted attention than I bargained for. If I respond like a person wanting to have a little fun with another person and it gets me treated like a thing they can now win and possess, the genuine human interaction has been tainted by the implication that it wasn’t genuine, there was always a motive and, because I played along, I’m now not a person to be interacted with, I’m a thing to be owned. I’d rather just not do the thing if that’s one of the possible outcomes. And yeah, that’s why I tend to not go out anymore.
I see you’ve met the guy who thinks that being horny and talking to a hot lady equals the lady being attracted to him… Sorry for your burden. I wish men were less like that
After I got a little older and past that weird age when it reverses and women are in the highest peak of their sexuality and men are half way out the door, I really started to hate these interactions. I feel like now I understood how every pretty girl felt about me when I bothered them. Not in a horrible creepy way, don’t worry I give up super easily. I always take no for an answer.
You are taking a high five for WAAAAAAY more than what it is. I’m just high fiving people left and right, celebrating having a night out.
Nobody is trying to “win” you, or own you, or get one over on you. By the time I’ve high fived you, I’ve already high fived you…and then I’m high fiving the next person. Without further context, I’m not sure what you mean by you getting more attention than you want, or how that happens. I’m high fiving about 8 people in about 3 seconds, and then running to the next group. Within about 10 seconds the interaction is over, so I’m highly confused by what you’re talking about.
I think I know what the user means. Trust me (yeah sure random internet person), you have no idea how often the most innocuous stuff gets used as an opening, a justification to keep bothering someone. Some guy asks for the time? Suddenly he also wants to know your name and do you want to have a drink? Some guy asks where x building is? Oh well, have you lived here long? I’m new here, maybe we could get together? Or it’s “does this tram go to x station?” and then, fuck, you’re stuck in a moving tram without an easy escape and the guy keeps asking why he can’t have your phone number, even though you already said no and then you lied about having a boyfriend, but still he won’t give up. Playing along with someone, being nice, trying to help them with innocuous stuff, 8 out of 10 times it doesn’t end there at all.
Before I get a bunch of downvotes: No, it’s not every guy. We know it’s not every guy. But most of us don’t want to sit through 6 creeps just on the off-chance of meeting a nice person. It’s just not worth it. And yes, it’s always guys who do this. I’ve never had a woman following me after giving her directions. I’ve never had a woman keep pushing me after I said no (and I’m sure they exist, crappy women exist, but usually I feel perfectly safe responding to women - so sue me, confirmation bias).
Edit: Just to respond to your specific situation. I think I might have given you the high five if you’d been at it for a little bit and I’d seen you do it to everyone else and not acting like a creep. The fact that it’s a bar scene and a social environment makes it all a little easier, imo. Most of my examples, real experiences btw, always happen in non-social scenes, like when going to work, or while doing groceries, etc. So in your case, I probably would have. But just to point out: it wasn’t about you personally, basically a bunch of creeps ruined it for you.
I know it’s not all men, every woman knows it’s not all men. But I think the best analogy I ever heard for describing the way women need to treat men as a whole is the same way people should treat guns. In gun safety class they teach you to treat every gun like it is loaded until you are certain it’s not, and even then it is always better to act with caution. I heard stories of my great uncle who was cleaning his rifle and he “knew for a fact without a doubt that it was unloaded” and he blew a hole through his foot and the floor. I’d rather not blow a hole in my foot because someone said a gun was unloaded and I just trusted them without double-checking. I’d rather not interact with a man I don’t know so I can avoid getting harassed or hurt. The best advice for men, according to my guy friends that I have that I trust to treat women with respect and back them up in situations where they are uncomfortable, is: call other men on their shit. If a man is harassing a woman when she’s said no, if a man is following a woman, if they are “just talking” but she looks super uncomfortable and he is encroaching on her personal space, interfere. Walk up, ask if she is okay, ask if you can get an authority for her. If the guy then becomes irritated with you for getting in the way, don’t back down. Get between him and the woman and tell her she can get somewhere safe. If it’s in a parking garage tell her she can get to her car and drive away, If it’s at a bar tell her she can go to the bartenders or the bouncer and ask for help. If it’s a guy friend of yours and you see them behaving that way, call them out and tell them to stop. It’s uncomfortable, it could lose you a friendship, but if no one calls men on their behavior, if MEN don’t call other men on their behavior, the men who don’t think women are people and deserve respect will never stop behaving that way. Because if only women are telling them what they’re doing is wrong, they will never listen. Because they don’t consider women people. And when I say they don’t consider women people I don’t mean they think they’re animals, they just actually don’t believe women have autonomy, have minds of their own and the ability to say no and mean it and have that decision for themselves be respected. “No means yes” is a way for men to convince themselves that women aren’t capable of making decisions for themselves and that you need to take control of them FOR them because they are incapable of making their own decisions. If you would like women to stop being afraid of men then men need to tell each other that the behavior that causes women to be afraid of them is unacceptable.
Just to be clear, this is not meant to be an admonition to you. You asked why we don’t high five, I gave you an answer. My answer didn’t seem to click for you as a valid thing that made sense so I’m trying to explain the reasoning behind it more thoroughly so you can actually understand where women are coming from. You might not be a bad person, but if we’re not sure we’re not going to interact with you because how can we possibly know?
I know it doesn’t feel good to be treated like a loaded weapon when you are just trying to be a happy person. But before you respond in denial of my perspective, because it hurts you to have people be afraid of you when you didn’t do anything wrong, think of how it would feel to have a gun pointed in your face and for you to have no idea if it’s loaded or not. Can you blame women for shutting down or for shutting you down when confronted with that possiblity?
What the other commenter said, about it being more likely for women to respond in kind if you’ve been doing it with all the other people and it’s a social setting, is true, but instead of being persistent if someone chooses not to high five you, instead smile and switch to a thumbs up and then just move on. The less of a problem you make of it when a woman decides not to interact with you the safer you will be to the women around you and the less likely you will be to be treated like a weapon.
I hope this helps you understand my perspective a little better, I hope this gives you some understanding the next time you feel shut down for seemingly no reason, and, most especially, I hope this helps you see the behavior of other men from the viewpoint of women and that you decide to help keep women safe when they feel uncomfortable.
Thanks for taking the time to ask, and thanks for taking the time to read my responses.
But she has no way to know that, and a lifetime of evidence to suggest that your attitude isn’t the universal male perspective. Since she doesn’t know you personally, the risk outweighs whatever benefit she gets from the high five.
Because idc what you are feeling, I don’t want to touch a random drunk guy. Sorry, not sorry.
Lots of men, especially drunk ones, have sweaty palms
Nonbinary btw
Moms spaghetti!
I’m a no touching person, and no amount of drunk will stop me from being a no touching person.
Never been high five rejected by a guy
And you also never met me (I am a guy too).
My response to unexpected fist bumps, high fives and handshakes is basically a silent “Huh?” before I figure out how to respond. Awkward 4 seconds. Oh, and I also likely forgot what I was thinking of and won’t have a peace of mind until I remember it to finish the thought, but that has nothing to do with actually doing a high-five or not.The only people that have ever high fived me are assholes that put all their strength into it. Then my hand burns in pain for the next 30 minutes. I don’t want more abuse from another drunk asshole .
Are you male or female? Males, yeah, that’s how we high five. Females I go waaaaaay lighter on. Like a fist bump with your palm. The same way you’d high five a kid basically.
Males, yeah, that’s how we high five.
No, we don’t.
Females I go waaaaaay lighter on. Like a fist bump with your palm.
And the intended recipients are all psychic and can tell that your delivery will be different than every other drunk high-fiver they’ve previously encountered. Right?
Dude everyone hates your high fives. Everyone. Penis or no. You over aggressive high fivin’ fool. (I mean this mostly in jest, if it stings for 30min you’re a wuss)
…I mean…I don’t high five them with my penis. Wait, have I been doing high fives wrong???
I don’t want to interact with drunk people kthx.
They’re unpredictable, potentially aggressive, and I just want to avoid the entire situation.
Well…then don’t go to bars. They’re FULL of drunk people.
You specifically said bar crawl, so better not walk downtown in the evenings, period. Better yet, women just stay home in, like, the kitchen or something.
You specifically said bar crawl, so better not walk downtown in the evenings, period.
I mean…yes? I’m 6’0, 270lbs and even I don’t walk downtown at night. Forget the drunks. You’ll just get straight up shot, or stabbed. All for the $37 in your wallet. They don’t care.
Better yet, women just stay home in, like, the kitchen or something.
Also yes. But not just women. Everyone. The best time I can remember was covid when the shutdowns happened. If it weren’t for all the death, and riots, that would be a fondly remembered time. Mostly because you could walk down the street without breathing in cigerette smoke, or having crackheads chase you with lead pipes. It was great walking around without people everywhere.
Then during the year I had to stay home for chemo, unable to work, financially it sucked. But it was peaceful staying home all day. That’s what every day should be!
…but also every home should have a dishwasher. I loved my time healing. I hated washing dishes. But I still loved never leaving the house.
People become defensive when they’ve been hurt before.
Oh, so it was you who walked past me last week downtown and was trying to get me to high-five you while shouting “HEY” at me repeatedly while I was trying to unlock my bicycle.
Uhhhhhhh…
shifty eyes
Noooooooooooo, that TOTALLY wasn’t meeeeee…but I hear that guy is awesome!
Because a strange, intoxicated man wants to hit me. Dude.
What??? I’m not hitting people. I’m giving high fives.
And how sure are you that you don’t look very similar to someone about to hit? Arm raised? Unbalanced? Questionable awareness of their own strength?
An overexuberant man, let alone one with bad intentions, could easily hurt me and I don’t feel like risking it for an annoying stranger.
I usually run up to the guys first yelling “HIGH FIIIIIIIVE!!! HIGH FIIIIIIIIVE!!!” And then just high five them, and then their buddies, and then their ladies. Surprisingly enough, if the ratio is 1:1, thats when I get the most female rejection. If the ratio is off in either direction, thats when I get the cool women. The ones who are just as excited as I am.
You asked, dude. I’m telling you to me, I’d probably see you as threatening at worst and annoying at best. If you asked a woman’s perspective only to tell her she’s wrong, you’re missing the point. I don’t care that you think you’re hilarious and safe. That is not necessarily how you come across to every woman; they can’t read your mind.
Seriously, this is like lightweight man or bear.
Seriously, this is like lightweight man or bear.
💯 💯 💯 💯 💯
The privilege of not having to be on guard while out around drunk people.
This exact scenario sounds threatening and like a total buzz kill. You need to understand that being out in a bar situation is a little vulnerable for women for obvious reasons, how am I supposed to know the guy coming up yelling to do a thing is safe? This could turn scary so dang quick. I get that you are just trying to be friendly and personable, but if I don’t know you then I would absolutely be taking a step back and wish you hasn’t done that.
I can’t speak for all women, but you asked. I’m not even remotely suprsied that this isn’t something other women don’t reciprocate. I think maybe you should reconsider doing this.
How do I show interest in a pretty girl next to a girl who isn’t without making the not-pretty girl sad?
As the less conventionally attractive woman, there’s a few different things that could happen. Option A: you can’t, she knows she’s not as pretty and has always known she’s not as pretty and will feel bad about being the one who doesn’t get hit on no matter what.
Option B: her and her friend are there to have fun on a girls night out and not to be hit on so she’s actually happy that she’s not the one being bothered. (Assuming this is In a social situation like a bar or a concert where going up to a woman and speaking to them because you are interested is socially acceptable)
Option C: The “less attractive” friend is presenting that way intentionally and is there for scary dog privilege and will back you down and make you go away because neither of them is interested in being bothered. (More likely in scenarios where it was socially unacceptable to go speak to the pretty girl in the first place, but not uncommon in social settings if the pretty girl is tired of being hit on and asks their friend to play bouncer)
- Part of the reason I don’t go out as much anymore is because I got asked to play scary dog privilege more often than not and it just kind of doesn’t feel good knowing that you’re only there to be a repellent to men.
-The humble perspective of the 5’10" but will still wear 5-in heals, 250 lb muscular woman who knows what way to twist a head to sever the vertebral artery. 🫠
the 5’10" but will still wear 5-in heals, 250 lb muscular woman who knows what way to twist a head to sever the vertebral artery. 🫠
Yeah that stuff is kinda why I won’t bother with girls unless they show interest first. Also besides the point, I’m celibate. I’m never gonna have kids and I don’t gamble. I’ll still flirt though.
Sure, let’s start the man or bear in a forest conversation up on here.
Let’s not, these comments are pretty nice so far
Seems like the best way to have a chill Sunday
Sorts seems like you know that most women say the bear and you are upset about it. Do you actually want to understand why?
I do. I understand most of every side of every argument because I’m not a moron. Especially emotionally charged ones.
Then why are you so upset about it?
About what??
The whole bear or man thing, it’s obviously living rent free in your brain if you can’t even think of asking women a question besides that one.
Yeah it’s been on multiple podcasts as a topic forever now. Even one as new as yesterday. I didn’t bring it up to argue or whatever you think the reasoning is. There’s plenty of women on both sides. More pick the man from what I’ve seen though. I find it interesting. I also understand why some opt for the bear initially.
Then why did you bring it up?
I understand most of every side of every argument because I’m not a moron.
🙄
This sort of arrogant lack of self awareness sounds pretty moronic to me.
Great logic.
I would like to understand why.
So have you just not taken the time to try or do you not understand how the bear is safer?
I’d like an explanation of the argument from a woman. The only experience is I have with the question is my little sister asking me the question, and me answering that I’d prefer the man because the bear might eat me. She then told me that most women would prefer the bear, but I never understood why. So that’s why I’m asking a woman why that is.
Cause the man might rape you and that’s worse in a lot of people’s minds. How is that hard to understand?
Well three big reasons, it’s statistically less likely to be an incident, has less terrible results if DOES become a problem and the personal experiences of women. So just to be clear, the hypothetical is
Would you rather be alone in the woods with a random man or a random bear?
And the vast majority of women, myself included, pick the bear. Of course we realize that bears are dangerous creatures, on average they attack about 40 people a year worldwide. Primarily hikers that get too close to a mother bear and it attacks to protect its cubs.
Now compare that with the statics of sexual violence. A few things should jump out, primarily that 1 in 5 women experince sexual assault at some point in their lives. One in three victims are minors and just over half of those attacking the crime are known to the victim. It’s hard to compare those numbers straight across, because per year and in lifetime aren’t quite the same thing, BUT it’s also very clear that WAY WAY WAY more likely that a minor girl are harmed by men they know exponentially more than they are attack by bears.
If I were hypothetically alone in the woods with a bear, I would know that so long as I leave the bear alone, its likely to leave me alone. If I mess with it or it’s cubs, I’m liable to have a problem but if I focus on getting home then it’s likely not a problem.
But if it were a random man that knew we were alone in the woods? Well, not only is the man faster and stronger than me, he is also way more likely to harm me than a bear. If I attempt to evade a human, it’s way less assured that I could get home safely. Not only is he way smarter and more motivated to find me than a bear, but he also runs the risk of being sadistic. Even in a worse case scenario, the worst thing a bear can do is simply kill me. But some men are liable to keep me alive simply for their gratification and then eventually kill me. To speak nothing of sadists who will specfically enjoy my suffering. That’s not a risk with the bear. Getting the worst bear in the world means minutes of pain if I am reckless enough to be near it, but getting the worst man means hours/days/weeks of suffering from a captor that is much harder to escape from. Regardless of my actions, age, appearance or relationship to the man.
And let’s say a man/bear does assault me in the woods and I escape back to civilization. Everyone will believe me when I say a bear attacked me. But not so it I say a man. That will prompt questions of
“what were you wearing?”
“Did you lead him on?”
“He said it was consentual, you might be lying because you regret it.”
Mosy women have not been raped, BUT most women have had a man try something explict with them while alone. Be it alone in an apartment, home, classroom or any other place. So when the hypothetical is total isolation from society, laws and repurcussions. When it’s just me alone in the woods, the bear is a safer bet on every single factor.
Try to answer the question with your little sister in mind, would you rather her be alone in the woods with a stranger man or a random bear? Because as I said before, tragically, 1 in 3 victims are minors, how many bears will see this as their golden opportunity? How many men?
Let me preface this by saying that I’m a man and I too would choose the bear.
That being said the statistics you shared are not an apples to apples comparison because humans are more often in touch with humans than with bears, so the fact that we get attacked way less by bears than by other humans is to be expected even if bears were the most violent aggressors out there. To kind of put it in perspective think about the opposite, how many times have you been close to a human and the human hasn’t attacked you, then compare that to encounters with bears and it quickly becomes obvious that an encounter with a bear is statistically a lot more dangerous than an encounter with a human, because people meet with hundred if not thousands of humans on a daily basis, and only get attacked by one of them periodically, whereas if humans were encountering hundreds or thousands of bears daily the number of attacks would be way higher.
Which is not to say that you shouldn’t choose the bear, like I said before I would choose the bear, but the reason for me is that bears are likely to be more predictable, if a bear decides to attack me I’m fucked, if a human decides to attack me I have a chance of survival, but the likelihood that the bear would attack me is easy to calculate, as long as I’m not threatening him and he has some food, we should be good. on the other hand the likelihood that the human will attack me is completely random, some people will have a 0% chance, while others will have a 100%. So it’s like asking would you prefer to play Russian roulette with the normal rules (1 bullet) or with a random 0-6 bullets? I personally would go for the 1 bullet, because while I can get 0 bullets on the other way I might also get 6 bullets.
It’s telling that the only thing you can think of to possibly ask the other sex is to start drama.
Weird comment from hellinabucket. I’m assuming the bucket contains it all and it never spills?
Bear, and I’m a guy. I don’t want to meet random people in a forest. That’s why I’m in the forest!
Yeah there’s one that I’ve wondered for a while now. Awhile back, I found out that women don’t have prostates but they can still feel pleasure from that hole. How can they feel pleasure from that hole if they don’t have a prostate?
There’s lots of nerves there. Gotta relax and it’s different but can be good. It’s definitely a collaborative effort.
Analog: How can you feel pleasure from someone sucking on your finger for instance?
My biggest sexual organ is my brain and when my body is used to get someone else off, I, too get off on it. It feels so so so so good to take dick in the ass (especially if they hit my prostate, but that part is not necessary).
How is a dick different than a toy?
There is certainly the emotional aspect of it, but in terms of physical sensations?
How is a dick different than a toy . . . in terms of physical sensations?
Physically only?
- there’s the person attached to it who’s enjoying ramming you
- temperature
- unless someone else is toying you, you’re missing out on submitting to their rhythm
- the sound (not physical, but not strictly emotional)
- that the top is getting off too from the exact same friction (again not exactly physical, but I would have a hard time saying it’s just as good having someone toy you and jo at the same time as it is if he’s fucking you)
Physically only because I imagine that it is the same feeling emotionally than PIV sex.
My GF doesn’t have a dick, so I was just curious how it differs from a toy.
Your G-spot and anterior fornix butt up against your rectum, so basically it’s like your G-spot in reverse.
Idk it just hurts for me though. A little touching the external parts is cool, but penetration is painful.
Similar to how you can feel a sensual touch on your lips, nipples, or fingertips. There’s a bunch of nerves there and if you’re having a good time already and you’re relaxed enough for it to not hurt, all that stimulation feels good. It also has the benefit of being right behind the vagina and the trailing tail ends of the internal clitoris, so they get stimulated a little too.
Additionally, if we’re talking multiple penetration, when you have an object in the anus whether it’s static or thrusting it stretches out the rectum and occupies space within the the pelvis. This means that when you go to insert an object into the vagina, there is less space in the pelvis for it to also expand out into. This means that the vagina will be tighter around the inserted object and as a result that object will feel larger than it otherwise would.
Even without any of that they say the brain is your biggest sex organ for a reason, some people can actually meditate themselves to orgasm (although there is some abdominal flexing iirc). Anal is a taboo at least to some extent in most places, and psychologically that’s a cheap arousal button for an insane number of people.
Women have skene glands which develop from the same cells as the male prostate.
Sup, targeted at women.
Like, how do you deal with menstruation when it’s expected soon.
I mean, do you wear a tampon/pad/cup/whatever else there is in advance, just in case or…
I guess it can’t be predicted to the minute.I guess it qualifies as a weird question.
I’ve never used a cup before, but I know for certain, you can’t really do that with tampons, because it would be way too dry and eugh, even imagining that is making me shudder. Most women who use tampons know how unpleasant it feels to pull out a dry tampon; I have to be careful near the end of my period not to use a tampon with too high an absorbency if I want to avoid this. I may switch to pads near the end.
Periods can come without warning though. Some people have a super low flow early on, so they might get more warning (if they go pee and there’s a lil blood when they wipe), but also sometimes it’s heaviest at the start, which is why many women have embarrassing stories of their period taking them off guard and bleeding through their clothing onto a chair or something. Someone might wear pads if they’re expecting their period - you can get lighter absorbency pads that might suit this better. Older women might wear pads like this at other times - my mum occasionally pees a little if she sneezes too hard, so she wears lightweight pads at other times of the month.
It’s easier if you can predict when your period will be. I’ve never had a regular cycle, and I thought the whole “my period is 2 days late and I’m anxious that this might mean I’m pregnant” thing only happened in movies until a friend anxiously messaged me about it. Turns out some people do have that level of regularity - I might actually ask my super regular friend what she does when expecting her period, come to think of it. But yeah, for many people, it can’t even be predicted to the day, or even the week.
Edit: reading other responses to your question made me think of amother point: even if you have irregular cycles, it can be possible to predict by various bodily signs. Something that I don’t hear talked about much is how vaginal discharge changes over the menstrual cycle. When I’m ovulating, there tends to be more discharge, and it’s slippery and clear, almost like egg whites in texture. At other times in my cycle, it might be more white coloured, or more creamy, or more sticky. I find it gross and fascinating in equal measure — sometimes I’ll just stick a finger up there to check if I’m unsure where I am in my cycle
Mine generally starts within a 2 day window. Mine starts with spotting, and I have a half day from that point before the real flow necessitating pads or tampons starts. So I know before planning for my day or going on a trip whether I’ll need to pack for a likely period or not, and my usual trips to the restroom through the day is enough to monitor for spotting.
I have pads and tampons stashed strategically, in my desk at work, in my car, in backpacks and gym bags and purses. I even keep a couple emergency “to share” kits for when another person is in need; a small bag with two pads, two tampons, some wipes, and a dose of ibuprofen in a blister pack.
Dealing with a period the first few times was horrible. Just the newness, I found it a bit scary, figuring out the best ways to keep healthy and clean, the boy in middle school who pulled a tampon out of my bag, unwrapped it, and started making lewd jokes in front of half the class. But it’s mostly boring now, the only time I really wish I didn’t have it now is when I do things like backpacking and have to worry about hygiene without running water and appropriate disposal.
Of course this all will vary wildly. I had a friend in high school whose periods started heavy, unpredictably, and with little warning. She played softball and if she was within a week of time for her period to start, she would wear a tampon and pad during her games just to be sure. She had previously had a bit of breakthrough during a weekend tournament and having to wear those shorts with a spot of blood for the rest of the weekend really embarrassed her.
I like how you had to clarify that your question is aimed at women, and then proceeds to ask a question about menstration.
Some dudes menstruate, even rarely men who were assigned male at birth. ✌️ Although the latter usually find out by needing their uterus removed due to lacking a vagina and their body not being able to clear the menses otherwise.
…that sounds wrong, but I don’t know enough about menstration to dispute it.
It’s a type of intersex condition, rare but it happens! Many of the men with this even have fathered children before finding out they had a uterus.
Carry tampons at all times.
When the monthly misery ends i block out the whole experience and the very existence of menstruation until next time, when i am shocked and angered that this is happening again, already!?! I’m looking forward to menopause.
You can’t wear tampons very long so just a pad if it’s about that time or feels that way. Typically I know to do so when I’m turning into a honey badger emotionally.
Fyi a silicone menstrual cup is non-porous, so it can be worn for up to 12 hours at a time (the staph bacteria that cause toxic shock can safely hide and reproduce in the cotton sponginess of a tampon, away from the acidity of normal vaginal fluid).
Everyone is different and bodies change over time. That being said, at this point there’s a discoloration in daily discharge the day or two before Aunt Flo arrives. We Know. And period underwear is a game changer.
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You can’t always expect it, especially if you have some kind of reproductive disorder like endometriosis, PCOS, etc. This results in massive simultaneous messes of both bloody clothing and wasted, un-bloodied period products, and is colloquially known as “hell.” It is often preventable (but also often caused) with/by hormonal birth control.
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If you spend some time really getting in touch with your bodily sensations and logging all of them in relation to your cycle, you can often start to notice things like mood swings, increased acne, bloating, headaches, cramping, and other common pre-menstrual symptoms. My whole vulva would ache. My whole inner lips, outer lips, taint, everything just felt like it was bruised, then next day, blood!
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You start by wearing your least favorite underwear. All women have a ranking of underwear from cutest / sexiest to period-est for this exact reason. This exactly what you keep the dingy ones around for. It usually starts small, also called “spotting.” So you’ll just go to pee, see a little smear or dot of blood, and start using products from there.
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Sometimes you can feel it just drop out feeling exactly like one of those vagina goo sharts. In fact, you’re usually hoping it’s a vagina goo shart because you can just wipe that out with toilet paper and move on with your day. It’s not gonna soak through and stain three layers of clothing like blood would. Enough of it left sitting on the fabric for long enough (like, weeks) would bleach the fabric but blood is a pain in the ass if it’s not a fabric you can just soak in H2O2.
I’m also an RN with a fair amount of experience in sexual health if you have any more period or reproductive health questions! Only thing I’m not good at is obstetrics (pregnancy), but everything that happens before that I can explain in detail.
“In fact, you’re usually hoping it’s a vagina goo shart because you can just wipe that out with toilet paper and move on with your day.”
Oh man, this is relatable. Reading this transported me to past situations where I sat uncomfortable and anxious until I could get to a bathroom and check. Solidarity
On a scale of 1 to 10 how similar is the anxiety/situation to needing to get to a bathroom because you need to check if it wasnt just a fart?
About the same I would say.
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I stopped tracking my period at all cause I just have a sense for it now and it was annoying when I’d forget to log a period and my tracker would tell me ridiculous things like I had a 97 day cycle or something. Plus privacy concerns. The only time it becomes inconvenient is when a doctor asks when my last period started, which usually just illicits an “I dunno, not abnormally long ago” at which point they ask me for a firm estimate and I throw out a bullshit number that will get them to move on to more pertinent discussions. I got an IUD last year so varying cycle lengths and missed periods aren’t without a reasonable explanation.
Anyways, I usually get a dull ache in my upper thigh/lower abdominal area the night before as warning. Mine start out pretty light, so a simple panty liner will keep me covered for the first handful of hours the next day. Honestly though I think I usually catch it by wiping after doing my business and seeing a trace amount of blood there, before I see any in my underwear. Although there have been other times that I just got a sense of moisture at a point, so the panty liner is a nice layer of security.
If I’m going out of the house I keep some regular pads on hand just in case the time comes to bring out the big guns. Menstrual cups are also super safe to get ahead of the flow with though (no risk of drying you out and causing micro abrasions like with tampons) so there’s been a few times that I just popped that in from the jump. My workplace also keeps emergency pads stocked in the ladies room (as a last resort, those ones are SUPER bulky for some reason, way overkill)
My wife uses a panty liner when a period is coming up. For my wife at least, it usually comes on light at first and she has a chance to notice when exactly it hits by checking the liner. And once it actually starts then the tampons are used in addition to the liner.
I have a question for the opposite gender: what’s your gender?
I don’t know what the opposite of my gender is
What’s your gender?
I’m a singularity of thought existing in the mythic plane; a mass hallucination; a self-aware story; a dialectical conversation between sociocultural influences.
Ok that means your opposite gender is a rock :)
Gay magic space rocks like in Steven Universe?
Dammit Greg, did you get another rock pregnant?
I’m actually a drop of water flowing down a river, don’t assume my state of matter
Well, it depends.
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If you’re a non-binary person, we’ll eliminate the non and that’s any binary trans or cis person.
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If you are genderfluid person, then I suppose it would be gendersolid? So probably any cis person?
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If you’re an agender person, then your opposite would obviously be pangender , you can be a lack to their all.
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And if you are simply a person, well then that would be xenogender!
Or vice versa! ♥ 💕
Technically, genderfluid is more a descriptor of the rate of change of gender than of gender when you think about it :p
So really, the answer to that is an ever changing subset of people ^.^
Oooh! I like that! Xenan. Nice ring to it! My response in “normal” company is she/her but my friends and I always joke about me being a garden cryptid.
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For the menfolks; how would you feel if your SO announced they were trans and began transition? Would you stay together? Or just become friends or something?
As a lady I don’t know how I’d feel, I think the sexual part would be a huge loss for me. I likes the G-spot orgasms.
This is probably more of an individual’s question than a gender-based question. I would support the transition, but I’d be lying to myself if I said I’d want to be with a trans guy. I am vanilla-ass hetero.
I think I would try at least, but I’m not into lesbianism. So hard to say.
I think it depends on the relationship. Personally, I married the person, not her genitalia. I like those too but I want the person to be with me until the day we die, far far in the future.
I’m bi.
It wouldn’t be a problem. I’m bi, and when I’m in love, it’s not a question of gender expression or body.
As a trans masculine non-binary person it’s more of personal conversation. My partner isn’t into masculine body types so my transition ended up being purely social because my partner does more on a daily basis to contribute to my happiness then the comfort of being in a body that doesn’t make me feel like shit daily. It’s a bit like having a pet allergy but deciding that you can live with feeling like someone poured sand into your sinuses every day rather than giving up your furry best friend. For all purposes though our relationship is coded and treated as though I am my specified gender. We are effectively culturally a same sex couple. Neither of us use female terms for my junk and he doesn’t claim to be straight. We do joke he is “queer by association” however.
But in regards to the what you give up situation it’s all rather dependant on how adverse you are and whether someone in your relationship is able to give a little and how much you value and ultimately how non-fungible the relationship is to you… Because - just putting it out there - strap-ons do exist.
Yeah they just aren’t what I want though. It’s not that I wouldn’t be supporting him, it’s that I don’t know how that part would go.
And that’s fine. I do what I do because I have a mentality of non-fungibility. There aren’t simply more fish in the sea, this is my person. There’s not another one out there for me.
There isn’t anything ethically wrong with someone with a more flexible approach to romance or someone who has a hard boundry. Not everyone is down for a sacrifice at that level for another person - and that is okay, not everyone is deserving of being the recipient of that kind of sacrifice just as everyone isn’t nessisarily capable of making that kind of sacrifice. If you are only kind of happy with your relationship then that’s not enough it has to be deep. It isn’t nessisarily easy, it doesn’t get easier and it might require daily conviction. It is a vulnerable space too. If you don’t have absolute trust it’s not going to work and absolute trust comes with intense emotional risk.
But on the other hand of things if your partner is dead set on doing this, you love them in a holistic way, you’re in a stable environment and you are at any level unsure of your ability to be attracted to them… you could probably afford to try. You might actually surprise yourself with be how you are okay then you thought you would be - and you can set the expectation at the beginning of the process that you are unsure of yourself and don’t know if it’s something you can do so they know and weigh the risks as part of their transition. Not all transitions are 100%. Trans people are often very calculated about what they choose to pursue based on what they personally value out of life in a more general sense. Not everyone goes for every option and the reasons behind them are intensely personal value judgements that involve way more than just the dysphoria/euphoria hits. I think way too many people peace out of things in general before they try or fully understand something and miss out because they built molehills into mountains. The process of transition isn’t lightning fast. You have time to think, to adjust, to compromise and if it really isn’t working for you then you will be absolutely sure that it’s not for you.
It all depends on your personal estimation of the value of the relationship you have going and how open you are to the process of self exploration to test your hypothesis about yourself against an actual real life situation. Because none of us know ourselves half so well as we think we do.
I’m not unwilling to try, that’s for sure.
Then, provided this is not simply a theoretical, I wish you whatever outcome is the best for everyone in the situation you are in. May you and your partner find the most happiness whatever that outcome looks like.
I mean…I Guess my wife would have to get used to getting banged in the ass.
So I guess if be to down for it?
Good question, and highly dependent. I think for the most part I’d move to being friends.
I know someone it happened to and she is still married but IDk about the sexual side.
I would become friend. But I could not stay in a relationship with my partner. I am heterosexual, so dating a man wouldn’t work for me.
Friend, if possible. My relationship preference is for women, so, I don’t see it working out.
If they’re going FtM, that would sadly be the end of the relationships. Can see ourselves being friends, though!
Yes. I’m a guy, and I would love to get a girl’s take on this.
Do you think Fermi’s “Great Filter” is not necessarily that a civilization destroys itself, but that it discovers a way to destroy the Universe?
Like, maybe the fabric of our reality is more fragile than we realize, and the reason we don’t see “aliens” is that the universe doesn’t get old enough for intelligent life to meet.
Of course, this assumes we are in a statistically “average” Universe, since presumably there could be a Universe in which intelligent life co-evolves within the same solar system.
They better get to it. Edit: the way to destroy the universe, I mean.
I think it’s a thought experiment that hits with the general public. Scifi writers put it in their work because it sets up great stories without being overly technical. Physicists talk about it and use it to get research grants to work on things that sound far less sexy.
Do most people want to hear a scientist talk about searching a teeny tiny patch of space for a particular wavelength of light or do they want to hear about Dyson Spheres and Von Neumann probes and 2001: A Space Odyssey.
I’m going to go watch an episode of 3BP on Netflix now.
I believe that science, math, are more inextricably linked to philosophy than people tend to think.
While my idea is particularly half-cocked, the Great Filter theory is an important question for us as a species to answer. If evidence ever came to light that there is some challenge awaiting us that could wipe out our species, it would behoove us to at least be aware that such a challenge exists - even without necessarily knowing any specifics.
I gotta admit, I really wanted to like 3BP on Netflix, but imo they added way too much “personal drama”. It’s like they intended to sprinkle it on and the lid came off the container lol. It was worth it just to see the ship though.
Fyi, math and science is philosophy. Science is how philosophy started to actually get answers to the questions it was answering(the scientific method) and math is one of the languages it did it through. The Cult of Pythagoras was a group that believed all answered could be found through numbers and math.
Philosophy helped birth both of those fields.
Agreed. I was never a “math kid”, so when I got to university, I was very surprised that a large part of what I learned in my math courses was actually philosophy.
That shift in paradigm instantly made me interested in math, weirdly enough. Turns out I love math, I’m just not a fan of numbers, haha.
You mean like what if species at a certain level of development start fucking around with zero point energy and trigger false vacuum decay?
Actually it’s entirely possible it’s already happened. There are lots of galaxies so far away their light will never reach us if it’s emitted now, and vacuum decay travels at the speed of light AFAIK
Nonbinary btw
That’s exactly what I mean. Like, even if a civilization set out at near-light speed a long time before triggering a vacuum decay, the decay would just catch up to them and wipe them out before they could reach us. It’s a theory absolutely rife with holes, but it’s an interesting possibility.
I’ll gladly accept nonbinary!
Personally, I think you’re really close to the answer but with an important distinction. The great filter is an hyper aggressive species that does not want to deal with a potential cold war with a different species with technology as advanced as their own. They already launched their doomsday armageddon weapon at us after detecting our existence, probably from something like our farthest satille, Voyager 1.
It could take generations for the bomb heading to our sun or stealth asteroid heading directly for us to actually connect. But it’s arguably in their best interest not to even chance us becoming militarily on par with them.
Statistically there is alien life out there somewhere, and whichever one got to interplanetary weapons first would have everything to lose by allowing an equal to exist.
My question for you is, why do you want a female perspective on this? Idk, doesn’t seem like something that gender would effect.
No offense intended, but do you identify as male? I can’t even be having this conversation if you do.
😂
I do not. Heck, the thread is about asking the other sex, I wouldn’t have answered if I was a dude.
Phew okay. In that case, I do agree that a hyper-aggressive species could be the Filter, though it’s worth noting that our radio signals have actually reached further than our furthest probe, so I would go off that when doing round-trip destruction calculations. I love Mass Effect’s take on this idea (though I haven’t played 3).
As for why I asked women: Mostly because I thought the non-sequitur was funny.
I’ve always felt like a lot of the assumptions in Fermi’s Great Filter feels off. Like, the way we talk about “intelligent life” feels iffy, both in astrophysics and other fields. I’m not great at articulating this, but if you’re one for video essays, Dr Fatima Abdurrahman recently made a video that captured much of what I’d struggled to say on this. (https://youtu.be/_tw0aqmnmaw)
I can’t guarantee I’ll watch that video, but I can guarantee I intend to watch it when I can.
Generally speaking, though, I do agree that most people’s idea of “intelligence” is very anthro-centric, if that’s what you mean.
Why do you sleep with your hand down the front of your pants? I’ve worked in multiple psych hospitals, for a while exclusively with men and a bunch sleep with their hand on their junk. I thought it was purely an institutional “thing” that they’d picked up to protect the family jewels but then I noticed other men I knew casually doing it, even just while relaxing while awake and one of our security even got fired for falling asleep out on the unit in a patient care area like that, so it must be comfy, but is that the only reason?
Using your belt/waistband is a comfortable and good way of stopping your arms dangling and flopping around while you relax/sleep.
This would explain the institutional connection, cots can be narrow.
I can not answer why, but I’ve been told I do it too.
And wake up holding my junk a lot of the time.
A lot of the times it’s definitely to reposition balls.
So sometimes not because it’s comfortable per se (and it is), but because doing it avoids possible discomfort, I guess.
Also, morning wood. What’s that about? What’s the benefit of getting an erection when we wake up? O.o
Your body is making sure it can still do that. Like literally checking that it can and also doing basic maintenance / resource delivery to make sure it will continue to be able to.Yeah this is an answer I’ve heard, but it’s sort of generalised.
I’d like a every detailed medical explanation on why it happens specifically when waking up.
It’s the wrong answer. Also, it’s not just when you wake up - it’s at various times during the night. The real answer is the sacral nerve: https://health.clevelandclinic.org/men-get-morning-erections-5-answers-questions
You’ll notice them in the morning most because a) you’re awake and b) you’ve had several hours for your bladder to fill, probably enough that you need to relieve it. This puts physical pressure on the sacral nerve, causing the erection. In turn, the erection closes the sphincter to the bladder more tightly because getting urine in the vagina during sex would change the pH and possibly kill sperm you have deposited/will deposit, which makes not tightening that sphincter an evolutionarily disadvantageous trait. This does make it something of a self-reinforcing cycle, though.
This has never made sense to me; a full bladder doesn’t give you an erection when you’re not asleep.
Says you. It sure as shit does for me, especially when I’m trying to hold it, and it’s sometimes a bastard and a half to get myself “calmed” again so I can pee.
Well yeah, it’s just during the night in general. Hell I’m not even awake in the mornings, lol.
This puts physical pressure on the sacral nerve, causing the erection. In turn, the erection closes the sphincter to the bladder more tightly because getting urine in the vagina during sex would change the pH and possibly kill sperm you have deposited/will deposit, which makes not tightening that sphincter an evolutionarily disadvantageous trait. This does make it something of a self-reinforcing cycle, though.
Exactly what I was asking for, thank you.
morning wood
When we sleep our body releases hormones that encourages blood flow in our body. Better blood flow means boner.
In the rare occasion I wear something to bed, I’ve never done this. If I’ve done it in my sleep, I don’t recall waking up that way or anyone ever commenting on it. My wife will sometimes sit with her hand in her pants on the sofa, kinda like Al Bundy.
I’ve never even heard of this before. My hands are typically near my head/shoulders when I wake up.
Sounds like you sleep with Dinosaur hands
https://www.neurosparkhealth.com/blog/what-does-sleeping-with-dinosaur-hands-mean.html
“Hey this guy doesn’t sleep with his hands on his dick, let’s call him autistic” very nuanced bro
That wasn’t supposed to be offensive “bro”. perhaps if you read it you’d see its not a “sign of autism” per se, but of neuro-atypicality. You could have read this and gone “wow, I DO sleep like that, maybe I should look into this” or “No not quite like that” but sure, you go to with the “Random internet stranger called me autistic” response.
Are you sure I too have Ethylenediaminetetraacetic acid
I think it’s common, but not universal. I sleep on my side hugging a 2nd pillow. That’s the most comfortable for me. When I wake up in a weird position, it’s on my back with arms splayed out like a gunshot victim.
Finally someone else who sleeps hugging a pillow.
I have a pillow both to the left of me and the right so I always have one to grab when I turn over.
It has nothing to do with the lack of childhood affection.
Sweat. When it’s hot and humid in particular, a little bit of lift prevents uncomfortable sweat buildup where the scrotum meets the legs.
Yeah, it’s just secure and comfortable.
Balls aren’t directly sexual, but holding onto them can be like rubbing your eyes, just kind of non-specifically pleasant.
It’s comfortable. If it’s winter it’s also warm to keep your hands close to your body.
If you have a guy in your life that you are intimate with, try it out. Hang out on the couch cuddled up to him and give the boys a hand cuddle. You can also do him a favor and check for lumps while you are there.
For the males:
Could you imagine being in a relationship with a woman who takes on the “masculine role,” i.e. taking you out, taking initiative, being the breadwinner, protecting you, etc?
Asking because I’ll forever be searching for a man who wants this type of relationship. I don’t know. Reversed roles are sexy, sue me.
Sometimes, this is the case with my wife and I. We have kind of a fluid relationship. Each of us have things going on in our lives and one of us sometimes can’t contribute to the household as much as the other.
When my wife was in college, I worked a shitload and was the bread winner. Now I’m in college and not working much at all and she is the breadwinner. Our marriage is hardly ever a 50/50, but we both understand this and I’m confident it’s one of the main reasons we are so great together.
Absolutely. My partner and I have traded those roles more than once.
To an extent this is my marriage. My wife and I both own our own companies. Mine is much more established and therefore offers me some leeway on my in office time (I’m an accountant). This means I often spend more time taking care of our children. I also cook, make grocery store trips, clean (to an extent), etc. She still helps around the house which isn’t ad much as it used to be. But I see her working her ass off so I don’t complain.
As for protecting me…no. I’m a pretty large dude. 6’3" 250. So unfortunately when things go bump in the night ya boi gets to go investigate.
I Would LOVE THAT
My gf and I have very nontraditional household roles.
I handle basically all the housework, I make way less money (working in education), and I do most of the cooking and grocery shopping.
She works… and occasionally folds some laundry by putting it on top of the dryer in the way of everything lol
I promise a lot of men want this.
I hope you’re right. I keep daydreaming about taking my future man out to dinner, spoiling him, going on shopping trips with him. Feels like people don’t believe me when I say this, like it’s so crazy for a woman to want it. Oh well. :’) Maybe my guy’s out there somewhere.
At least secretly, but it’s considered socially unacceptable, unfortunately.
Those are good behaviors regardless of whether they are considered masculine or feminine. In my mind femininity is inclusive of the strong beauty archetype. A highly capable person can be both a great leader and a great follower depending on the context.
Already taken, sorry. She makes the money, I make the food.
In a word, fuckyeah.
Uh, yes, definitely. A lot of guys would like this.
Sure. At least I don’t think I will be salty about having the inferior wage.
Dunno about the protection part though. I would personally hope that even the weaker partner would shield me from bad things as well as the strong partner.I would be surprised if there weren’t men that enjoyed or wanted this role - even if few admitted it.
To answer your question,. absolutely! In an equal relationship, you’d kinda expect it now and again for the small wins in your life. In a relationship where someone wishes to play the more dominant role it can shift.
I’m okay with this as long as the attitude is loving and not demeaning. But I’d probably need her to be okay with it being a level playing field, and her being fine with me leading when I feel I need to.
I was once in a relationship with a woman who didn’t know how to hand off the reigns. It was tiring. But I’d love to date someone who is confident enough to switch roles whenever each other needs to.
Yeah, I would definitely be down with that. The only thing I really want out of a relationship is snuggles because sleeping alone feels so… empty.
Only minor note is that I’ve been in relationships before where, for reasons beyond my control, I was unable to make an income. It doesn’t matter to me whether I’m the “breadwinner”, but not being able to financially support my other at all was horrible. I don’t know if that’s universal for guys but I would imagine mostly yes.
Yes and it sounds pretty good to me, although I’d draw the line at pegging 🫠
Yes pls.
Hey!
I’m actually in a similar relationship, though not due to design or will, just life and happenstance.
My so has a great job with good schedule and it’s her “soul” job, not sure what the word is in English but maybe you understand.
I’m, on the other hand, struggling with finding a career I could sustain. I have ADHD so it’s kinda tough, but we make it work perfectly.
Nowadays I study an engineering degree, so I’m home keeping the place neat and cooking for her and all that, and she provides the funds for all kinds of fun activities and all the rest you know, food and such included. I don’t mind, though at first my toxic masculinity kind of fought against that and I had a period of feeling bad about it. But we talk a lot and are good with it, so we went through it and it’s been nice since.
But I can imagine it’s hard for a man without prior experience of such a situation, to acclimate. But I think everyone can acclimate to it and get used to it. Just need to have very good communication to get through the first rough couple of months.
Yes. There would certainly be some friction points, but I’d much rather take care of my home and family instead of working.
I took care of our young kids for a fortnight “instead of working” when my wife was rushed to hospital. It was far more exhausting than doing the day job. I don’t know how single parents cope at all.
I’m a bi man and love masculine women and feminine men. So having the typical roles switched sounds like a dream
All my questions can’t really be answered by just asking another person. I wanna know what it feels like to have their plumbing. Words aren’t enough though. I want to experience it. At least for a day.
I too thought I invented The Button
Is there any way for a man to compliment a woman in public without it coming across as weird, or an attempt to hit on her?
Or should I just not do that in general?I’ve always been told the best thing to do is stick to complimenting things that are their choices.
Not great: That outfit makes you look good!
It’s you coming off as being interested in their physical appearance, not the outfit.
Better: That’s an awesome T-shirt! Where did you find that?
It’s you thinking they picked out something cool or stylish and you like their taste in outfits. You’re putting the attention on something they did, not anything about them appearance-wise.
Especially if they don’t know you, odds are they have no desire to hear a stranger’s opinion on their looks. That’s too personal. But a stranger agreeing with their decision on something like buying something cool generally isn’t.
Of course, some people are more or less open to any conversation with someone they don’t know, so if you still get ignored or get looked at like a creep, you don’t know their background and you respect that and don’t persist.
A good rule to go by is if you’re a guy, think of a guy coming up to you and saying the same thing or you saying what you’re going to say to another guy. If you wouldn’t tell another bro that he looks good wearing that, maybe don’t do that to a girl. If you see a guy wearing a band shirt of a group you like though, you’d probably be ok saying “whoa, I love that band too!” or you’d be cool with some random dude telling you the same.
You shouldn’t be afraid to talk to people, but you should always be respectful and keep in mind how well you know them and keep conversation at that level of appropriateness.
In addition to this, I’ve heard people say to do ‘drive by compliments’. If you’re not trying to start up a conversation or don’t want the person to worry about a conversation, you can drop the compliment right as you’re about to leave the situation. It has its downsides as well
This has been my strategy. I like to compliment people because I can remember the few times it’s happened to me, but I’m not trying to creep anyone out. Mostly stuff like “awesome shirt!” or “hey, sweet hat”. Never “nice cock, bro”. And never with the intention of starting a conversation. Mostly like passing by someone and pointing “excuse me, love the boots.”, then keep on truckin’ by.
I wish someone would drive-by compliment me with “nice cock bro”
Sorry to look twice, but wow, nice cock, bro.
Heh i have a couple stories.
At costco picking up hotdogs for the crew, get back to car and notice older (60+) lady with Doc Martins on (i figure shes an old hippie but doesnt really matter) so i tell her i love your big stompy boots! And because of her style i add, “you may not but i think you would love Jon Fluevog shoes” she thanks me and says she has a couple pairs and loves them but doesnt wear them every day so they last longer.
Pleasant 45 second interaction.
At a music festival in victoria bc watching a metal band called Malahat, see a younger woman wearing the same colour converse shoes im wearing standing next to me, bamd pauses and i tell her she has terrible taste is shoes as im looking down and pointing to my own shoes. She was confused for a moment then laughed loudly enough security looked my way.
Have used the shoe bit a couple times stuck in close quarters (elevators hallways transit etc) a few times not always successfully but usually it goes over well when they notice im wearing the same shoes.
Sometimes i have to explain it was just an intentionally bad joke(i do love a bad pun and a good dad joke) but rarely usually is well received. But thats literally all i intend and it usually happens in passing.
(Middleaged white guy beardo)
It has its downsides as well
Leaving a bar to catch a train and I did this when closing my tab. Ended up in a conversation and missing my train.
Yes I like this! When people (even random strangers) compliment an external thing and it reflects something like a mutual interest that can be pretty cool. Especially if it’s a fellow metalhead.
I approve this message.
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Don’t, for the most part. If it’s any more effort than literally just turning a and saying a single sentence like if you’d have to take more than a step or two or she’s reading/listening to something and you’d have to do something to break her attention, don’t bother. There’s good odds that’s intentional on her part but at the very least it’s annoying. There’s a little bit of flex to these depending on culture, so it’s always worth asking a woman from your own culture.
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Don’t compliment the natural state of her body, for a variety of reasons. A haircut or other cosmetic choice is usually fine. Tattoos are fine but bring up another point, avoid complimenting things in the bathing suit zone. It sounds obscure/complicated but consider the example of a tattoo poking out of a shirt collar. We all know it’s on her tit; leave it alone.
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Do compliment something she chose, especially if it looks like something they put a lot of effort into choosing like a coordinated outfit, or a well-made cosplay. It can also help to avoid complimenting the shirt and/or skirt (possibly misconstrued to tits and ass) and choose an accessory like a bag, bracelet, or scarf instead. Careful about shoes, feet have become a sort of Western cultural shorthand for “weirdo” (despite the relative banality of that kink once you know what other shit goes on in that scene).
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Do compliment something specific about the thing that briefly highlights either something you might have in common, or some kind of knowledge/skill you have (example: “I loved [TV show] but was always more of a [different character] fan” or “the leatherwork on your bag is excellent, you have good taste!” (but you better know your leather!). Don’t make it a question (see below)
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Say that like, one sentence, then immediately move away slightly and focus your attention on something else entirely. It gives her breathing room and lets her decide what happens next. Most of the time you’ll still probably still get a fake smile/nod, but this is probably the lowest pressure way to approach a strange woman. You’re better off just getting to know people through volunteering or a hobby group (if you really wanna meet women, join a yoga or dance class, or a knitting or romance novel club).
Your last sentence seems a bit judgemental and insulting since they specifically noted they were asking about giving a compliment when NOT trying to meet women (hit on them). But perhaps im mistaken why you included that(which will be just confusion on my end then)
Your points put into words things ive done but never really realized it or would have been able to explain.
I say this because i have complimented tattoos on more than a few occasions and i have rarely noticed an uncomfortable reaction (i judge this by the fact that they talk about the tatoo ive mentioned for longer than i spoke words).
I am fascinated by what people choose to permanently put on their body. There are often very meaningful reasons for it, but not as rarely as i would have thought it is a very quick spur of the monent decision. Most of the time this happens at a check out/til in a store.
I will typically just make a comment about the work itself, not about the placement(unless its on a spot ive been told is very painful as many people have such different experiences, “ive been told that is a tender spot for a tattoo” or some such. But its an honest question because i have been told that)
Common things that prompt me to comment are striking/vibrant colours, im curious how old the tattoo is as some colours are prone to fading badly Or very clean and clear lines, especially when they are delicate or just very thin.
I have a specific reason or curiosity which prompts me or i dont say something which i think is why i seem to be able to successfully give compliments/comments to strangers in public. But ill also compliment guys in public as well for the same reasons/circumstances and im definately not attempting to hit on or pick up guys(ide be flattered if a guy thought i was hitting on him though)
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The other person who you replied to makes good points - it’s always going to be context dependent and it drives me mad when I’m out and about and have so many signals projecting “leave me alone” (such as wearing headphones, being on the phone, studying etc.) and a guy hits on me.
However, if someone is generally approachable, I’ve found that the best compliments are on something the person has consciously chosen about their appearance. So stuff like graphic t-shirts (especially band t shirts), hair styles (I love people with dyed hair because this presents to me an easy option for compliments).
Not without another reason to be talking to her. If she’s charging with you on the bus for a minute, go for it. But if she’s walking past you on the street, keep it to yourself
Friday i told the teller at the bank when asked if there was anything else she could do i told her to tell her coworker(who was on the phone behind her) that she was a jerk because her shirt(blouse?) made me want lemonade (white shirt with a repeating lemon print, wasnt sure what it was and took me a bit of looking at it to figure out what it was, but had the time while the teller was processing my deposit)
Of course both of the bank people know my first name as ive been there before and i used the person’s name.
I maybe would have said something like that without having met them before, but it would really depend on the scenario and environment. Likely i would have said nothing if there wasnt enough time to explain if it wasnt received well, which isnt always the case in public.
Not really, to be honest. Unless it’s an event or venue where there is that expectation. Most of us just want to go about our business in general. I would say the first reason is just wanting to be left alone to do what we planned to do at any given time. Secondly, people don’t always take no for an answer. At best, it’s just another bother. At worst, it can be potentially scary. Hope this helps.
I love compliments! So long as it’s not an attempt to start a conversation, if you think I’m pretty say so! But please don’t expect me to say anything besides “thank you” and keep walking.
The only time I would rather a guy didn’t is if I am forced to stay in the area. If we are in a elevator or waiting room, don’t make it awkward because I’m absolutely not gonna reciprocate or set up a date with someone I don’t know.
That’s basically been my experience as a “guy” too. I’ve given tons of compliments to random passing women and never once had it received poorly. The problem a lot of guys have is that their idea of a compliment is telling a woman she’s got nice tits as a pretense to engage in conversation. Usually with the end goal of getting a date.
Male here. Is it true that sometimes farts unexpectedly head north and get lost in the caverns of the bubblegum forest?
Yes, this is true.
Damn. My condolences.
What did you think the Willy Wonka factory was based on? That liquid brown river wasn’t chocolate…
Eyup
Agree with sparkles.
Oh wait you mean forward up between the lips? Yeah but not like into the vagina, it gets up into the hair like you said and disperses from there. Also for some reason I wanna say those ones don’t really smell much even. It’s those hot little ones that do that but I think that happens to guys too, idk tho you tell me.
Farts are also varied for guys, I suppose depending on diet. But yeah, the hot ones are equal parts disturbing and satisfying.
Bubblegum forest
This cracked me up
Lost is a bit strong, it goes exploring and is politely but firmly removed by the kegal Captains.
I’ve heard these referred to as “exiting through the gift shop”
Why do we have to ask you men to wear boxer briefs at this point? Hell no on tighty whiteys. Boxers are for grand paws… or older.
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Briefs because our balls get in the way and our sweaty scrotum sticks to our legs. The leg bands of the briefs sit up in the crease and separate the sack from the thighs.
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Boxers because some folks don’t like restriction and want airflow to our sweaty balls. Also they come in more fun patterns.
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Because that’s what our parents bought for us as kids. It’s not an important enough part of our wardrobe to change if it’s working for us. No one is supposed to see them in public anyways.
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I’m a fan of tight boxers, a cross between pants and boxers. (Pants) in uk are underwear.
What about a banana hammock?
Why do you think you can dictate to anyone what to wear?
It was an honest question! Tighty whiteys are for boomers. If Trump wears them… nuff said.
Trumps wearing nappies though.
Grow up.
We let one man ruin a perfectly good style of stache, we should not let another jackass ruin a perfectly good style of underwear.
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But which cut?! Midway briefs, boxer briefs, or trunks?!
That’s not a question
