Goood

I know what you mean…

Words

You’re like the one guy I know that actually made an account on Fark

I think my AIM account is still technically active even though they shut it down. Don’t know what they did with all the accounts.

fuck.com?

(Don’t click that)

Can you tell me an easy way to get Winamp up and running on a modern computer? Man, I miss Winamp…that shit really whipped the llamas ass.

I’m only as old as I feel and me and my wrinkled-ass dick feel pretty old

My penis is pretty old at this point…

What skin do you use, tho?

I’m definitely younger than you because emacs sucks

A private island

And only a trusted few would be allowed on it.

1. WaLL-E
2. Big Hero 6
3. Terminator 2

Paperhanded bitches

The Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkein because there’s no fucking way in hell I will ever finish that shit

A couch is where you screw. A sofa is where you make love.

Ergo, a sofa is sexier than a couch.

A car on fire on an entrance ramp. Thought it was a wildfire at first until I got closer and was weirdly relieved when I saw what it was.

I know! It’s that deadpan delivery that really sells the style.

Did you ever watch Quentin Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs? Steven Wright does the voice over narration for K-Billy’s Super Sounds of the 70’s!

“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”

-Mitch Hedberg

What do you call ten thousand lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?

A good start.