I work in IT so basically everything
So two people typing in one keyboard doesn’t make the hack faster?
I loved that entire scene for all the wrong reasons
I believe that was what they were going for.
Programming.
It’s long and actually even longer.
And involves a lot of sobbing
Ah, the rollercoasteg of “I’m an idiot fraud” and “Oh my god I’m actually really good at this!”
They think programmers are super smart and great at maths.
Gaming.
There is no way that this obvious secret wasn’t discovered until now. If there are as many gamers as you show, it would’ve been found within 2 weeks maximum. Looking at you, ready player one. Cringy McCringeCringe can’t be the only one who found these obvious secrets after literal years.
“Drive backwards on the track”
That’s literally the first thing people do in racing videogames. That would have been SECONDS
Yes it was way better than watching him play Atari Joust for 30 minutes but still!
THIS. And the trope is always about some ultra popular game that the entire world is obsessed with, too.
I mean yeah it might even be like that if knowing the game was the only method of discovery but, pah! Hardcore fans? They do RAM dumps and decompiles and all kinds of wacky analysis to find obscure stuff, and then they post it in the “trivia” section on a wiki and the thing hasn’t even been out a year! Lol
I hate to say it but the pilot to Stargate Atlantis almost had me not even watch the series
so okay, this game somehow accurately maps an alien reactor technology down to each individual particle and instead of running several billion iterations of procedural testing they make it into an MMO that paradoxically only ever has 1 player and they solve the equation by walking into the correct room…
I’ve watched Stargate Atlantis many times, and I have no clue what you’re referring to. The only game I can recall is the episode with the real life Civilization game, and that actually looked like a decent representation.
Yeah it was Stargate Universe my bad, going back to edit
In the book the clues were different and more obscure.
I would like to see ONE person depicted as playing video games (M&K or controller) and have their hand inputs look believable, not just randomly flailing at the device. I would die a happy man if the inputs corresponded to what’s displayed in the game.
I spent my life as a game dev.
This is the gamer equivalent of when you hear music and see someone playing an instrument in a show/movie, and nothing they are doing matches the music.
Good parallel. I don’t even need it to be perfect, I just don’t need to see a person holding a controller when it’s obvious they have never touched one in their life and they’re just randomly thrashing at it like a curious monkey
Honestly, movies and shows should stick to showing people playing racing games, because then you only need to instruct the actor to move the left stick around and hit the right trigger.
Perfectly believable gameplay with just two inputs.
But they almost always need to show them playing a shooter because then they get to talk about how hard they are killing everybody while doing their best impression of what their 13 year old nefew talks about on Fortnite or COD or whatever, but as a 30 year old actor. Lol
I’m actually pleasantly surprised by how much movies get right with rowing and sailing in movies.
The one that does make me roll my eyes is the scenes where characters are chilling in the galley or bed and then suddenly run up because they hear/see a problem through a porthole. I always get pretty grumpy with the idea of folks being actively under sail and simply ‘tying’ the wheel or tiller and going under the deck. Only the incredibly expensive sailboats can truly get away with that. A small, affordable to a middle class type, yacht will have that with a motor, but sails are not so forgiving. If the wind changes you could have a pretty bad day, and even a perfectly ‘straight’ tiller will likely have you turning circles ere long. That’s not even considering how poor of a decision that would be unless you were a military ship in the middle of the ocean and others would get out of your way. Just because collisions are super de duper unlikely doesn’t mean they’re impossible.
Rowing and sailing they get right because they are upper middle class activities, form which screenwriters are almost exclusively picked
I constantly get surprised looks from the people I deal with when they learn I don’t know anything about sailing.
Sailing, maybe, but rowing doesn’t have to be upper middle class. I’m solidly lower middle class, if that, and I get by. With the club, it’s about the same as a gym membership subscription at the end of the day.
Still in the ‘acceptable in a polo at the lawn party’ crowd
That said, if someone told you “I was on the rowing team back at university” you’d have decent odds his name would be Chet or similar.
I almost never see accurate sword fights. If they last more than two or three swings, they’re likely wrong. And Achilles jumping at the beginning of Troy was just comical. Footwork is so vital to sword play that leaving the ground is insane. But realistic sword play would be boring as fuck. It would be over in half a second and you would barely see any movement.
The ‘but I am not left handed’ duel in The Princess Bride is about as close as can be expected
And Achilles jumping at the beginning of Troy was just comical.
FUCKING THANK YOU I HAVE BEEN THINKING THAT FOR DECADES
That’s Bob Anderson’s masterpiece. Greatest film sword stuntman and choreographer ever, Darth Vader himself. Although I would say that the best film depictions of sword fighting have to be Alatriste for rapier fencing and Rob Roy (1995) for the broadsword. The Last Duel was also both entertaining and realistic.
TIL and thank you for pointing me to movies I’ve never seen.
Reminds me of the old days of the internet when people still talked about niche things they loved without judgment. If any gods exist may all of them richly bless you with exactly as many pleasant surprises as you desire.
It never occurred to me that cinematic/theatrical sword fights are to swordsmanship what gun-fu is to marksmanship lol
that really is a great way to sum it up.
Funny to think a John Woo film could make both marksmen and sword practitioners wince for different parts while cheering for the other
About anything to do with computers. Anything.
Nods and waves arms widely - the computers.
Which ones? All of them.
Even worse the Hollywood Effect makes the stuff that I do that’s ACTUALLY impressive look like routine.
Fuckers will literally clap if I unjam their printer but manually recalculate a CRC header for a mission critical live database without a second of downtime and they’re like ‘Ok but isn’t that your job?’
BITCH LESS THAN 5 PEOPLE IN THE STATE CAN DO THIS
But you just typed in some numbers
BITCH I CANNOT EXPLAIN IN UNDER FOUR HOURS HOW TO FIGURE OUT THE RIGHT NUMBERS TO USE
The more complex the task, the less fucking impressed the proles are.
It angers me even more than normal that this is so fucking true
currently rescuing 7tb off a corrupted stripe. My boss does not seem to grasp what Big Deal this is. Ima bout to dig up recovery pricing to slap him with
That’s a smart way to do it, can’t argue with an accepted price
actually his response was “eh, if we didn’t have you we’d just tell the customers we lost the data”
I want to skin him and wear him as a hat.
import crc
import crc
Ok, so how do you calculate the correct value when the database keeps dumping new arbitrary length records at roughly 10 per second? And figure it out quick because once that record hits finalization in roughly four minutes, it’s going to puke out a record dump that contains every test done since the database was stood up a decade ago and there isn’t enough HD space in the cluster for even half of it.
Three minutes now, do you have that number? Two minutes fifty seconds…
Aliens connect their nanoprobes to your the main character’s PC and download the Internet so they can judge humanity.
Even if they had magic tech to do this, they’re still constrained by the MC’s shitty 10Mbit DSL. Somehow they can download everything humanity has ever done in 5 seconds, and all while pictures of it are showing up on the monitor for no good reason.
Not necessarily, if they have “magic tech”, they could be uploading a virus that rapidly spreads across the entire internet, making every machine broadcast its data through electromagnetic waves or something like that, picking up all those transmitions with said magic tech.
It would still take longer just to read the data off off all the storage, but theoretically not DSL
I don’t think I’ve ever seen blacksmithing done correctly in a movie, show or game.
There’s more to sideshow than sword swallowing, there’s more to fire performance than fire breathing
Movies: “What? You’re making robots? But what if they become evil?”
Me: “No, actually you can prevent that easily by…”
Movies: “Ghost in the machine! Bugs! Hackers! Robot becomes self-concious and disables its safeguards! Evil!”
Me: “Our robots are not even that advanced. Also you can easily add an off switch and…”
Movies: “They’ve bridged their off-switch! Terminators kill all humans now. All robots become evil!”
Me: "Whether they become evil or not depends on how you implement it and also … "
Movies: “Evil robots! More evil robots! The downfall of humanity!”
Every. Damn. Movie. For once I would like to see a movie with robots that don’t turn into mindless “cuz evil” killing machines. It’s really annoying how widespread the fearmongering about robots is in movies.
Also, why the fuck do all robots have the worst possible speech synthesizers ever? Heck, even the announcements in subway trains and buses have better natural sounding computer voices than robots in movies.lmao is that Ubuntu?!
BAZINGA!
LAUGH TRACK
My first and only exposure to that god-awful show as a small snipped my GF at the time insisted I watch.
“I’m playing games. On an… emulator”
11 SECONDS OF WILD LAUGHTER
Retail workers spending the day doing shenanigans while barely doing any work, I’d kill for time to do some stupid time wasting shit.
Sorry I can’t join your impromptu wedding for two workers whose name I forgot.
LOL or for that matter fictional characters doing ANY job. It’s like they just screw around all day having wacky misadventures and somehow the company stays in business.
Right? I dunno how it was back in the old days but Clerks is maybe the worst representation of modern service workers I’ve ever seen. I’ve got a “hard labor” job and work about 1/4th as hard doing that than I ever did in service when I was younger
Superstore is the worst representation of retail work, I think they did about a week’s worth of work max during the entire series.
One of the better ones is a British show called Trolled, they at least show them doing some form of actual retail work, still shenanigans, but they never leave the store to do them besides one or 2 episodes, plus it’s a damn good comedy.
I wish I could hack into infrastructure in real time.
