I have this argument with my wife often. I like to cook, and for me cooking is more than taking frozen meatballs and dumping them into a pan full of jar pasta sauce. I would rather make the sauce, maybe have some meatballs made in advance. My wife seems to think that pre-made stuff or mixes are the way to go. I would rather just make pancakes scratch, which isn’t hard, where she would rather I just open the mix, add water, and make the food. But I do agree that having a frozen lasagna is better than taking the full effort when I just want to get dinner going. So where are your eat the pre-made vs make it from scratch?
Having a frozen lasagne is better than taking the full effort when…
Last month i made two lasagnas in one day and had nine of it. I ch but them up in pieces and froze them into 24 pieces. Now we have home made lasagna for those days where we dont feel like k cooking dinner. It really does not need to take too much time and if you enjoy it, there is no need to not do it.
Personally, as with a lot of the comments, I’m in the food-prep and make it yourself crowd.
I found a book that dives into the details of when it is and isn’t worth making things from scratch.
It’s called Make the Bread, Buy the Butter.
Honestly, I haven’t read it yet. I bought it and let my mom borrow it immediately, but when I get it back I think it will an interesting read.
As someone who’s only read the title, I don’t think I’d like this book.
I’ve made bread before, a lot actually. Many kinds with different flours.
But I’ve used yeast for years because I couldn’t have added phosphorus due to kidney failure (which baking powder has in it). I’ve also had other less commonly used raising agents like cream of tartar and yogurt. I also made it by hand because could not afford a bread machine or had the space for it. It’s extremely messy.
That said, if you’re using baking powder and a bread machine, you might as well just get bread from the store. You’re just doing the same as a factory does really. And I’m some cases maybe worse since some factory bread is made with yeast instead anyway.
If you want fresh bread, you can in most cases just go to a bakery section too these days, from what I remember when I lived in the USA. In EU basically every store has a bakery section with bread made daily tho.
You enjoy cooking, she doesn’t. You can cook from scratch, she can heat up the frozen stuff. I don’t see why this is cause for an argument.
Yeah, I personally despise cooking. I’ll do anything to get my meal the quickest and with the least amount of effort and mess possible. I don’t see the big deal. If people want to cook from scratch, go ahead. I’m just not going to be the one to do it. Why does it matter if one person prefers to cook one way and one person prefers the other?
Edit: If it’s specifically pancake mix that OP’s wife prefers, maybe there is something about the flavor that she likes better with it. My brother also weirdly prefers instant mashed potatoes over homemade…even if he is not the person making them. With certain things, some people just have a preference it seems.
In this same vein, I’ve never had a from-scratch brownie that I like better than the box brownies.
She will insist on the mixes.
As in when you cook she wants you to use the premade stuff? Why?
Nostalgia for what her mother used to make.
Yo man, that’s a legit resson for her to prefer one type of cooking over another
Compromise, then?
Perhaps every other night you can cook from scratch, and cook as she likes on other days. Or, you could try to replicate the flavors she’s looking for in your cooking. Involve her, have her try tasting some sauce you’re making or whathaveyou and then try to see if you can nudge the flavors in a direction she likes.
NGL man, you’re coming across as Defensive Internet Man on this. You two “argue frequently” about this, she “seems to think” mixes are the way to go when it sounds like it’s really only pancake mix that’s hanging you up and you know perfectly well why she likes pancake mix over scratch. She “tried to pull” nostalgia on you as if missing her deceased mother is a trick she’s playing on you.
Amateur advice from someone with no special related experience: any time someone says they like a Thing because it reminds them of Close Dead Relative, maybe just take their word for it and let them be.
Yeah maybe she might be a little overreaching there? Forcing someone to always make (and eat) the thing you prefer is not a healthy relationship. Time to compromise.
With OPs tendency to trickle in less flattering details only after 2-3 comments in, I’m skeptical she’s “forcing” him to do anything. This is a one-sided perspective from someone intentionally devaluing his spouse’s perspective.
Would she be open to use the pre-made mixes as a base and then you improving on them? I love to cook from scratch with nothing but fresh vegetables and base ingredients; it really makes me happy and, if I do say so myself, I do a good job at it (it is indeed a time consuming experience). My mom cooked from scratch and the taste and process of pankakes starting from scratch is familiar and comforting.
I have also learned that there is a lot that I can do by using pre-made ingredients, and that sometimes it’s a huge advantage because I can then focus my cooking creativity on the parts that are less about ‘turning the ladle’ and more about personal time and experience. Some examples:
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Pasta sauce: Buy a decent tomato basil sauce. Then add caramelized onions (40 min), mushrooms, artichokes and spices. Now I can focus on what the sauce goes on top of.
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Pankakes: Some of the store bought pankake mix is pretty great, I especially love the Ube mix from Trader Joe’s. If you are not making your own mix, then you can really focus on creating some excellent and amazing hme make toppings. It’s a good excuse to perfect a recepie for marmalade or make a perfect mini fried chicken from scratch to go with that pankake.
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Mac’n’Cheese: It’s absolutely possible to make Mac’n’Cheese from scratch, but also delicious to start with a box, and then figure out how to max it Gormet in all different ways.
just some ideas.
For all these responses, it’s not just pasta sauce or pancake mixes. And yes, the she does let me doctor things up sometimes. It just gets irritating when I make a sauce, it’s delicious, and then she buys a jar version because “you like this kind of sauce”. I found a great soup recipe I want to try, ask for specific ingredients and she just buys the canned version of the soup. I’ve talked with her before about it when she brought home a cookie mix. I used to make homemade cookies when I was depressed, and it would cheer me up. She suggested I make the mix, all I had to do was add some eggs and water, and we can have the cookies. I had to tell her it wasn’t the cookies that made me feel better.
It sounds like you should be doing the shopping when you want to do the cooking.
Talk to each other, apologize, and compromise. Sometimes do it your way; sometimes do it her way. Understand and forgive each other, enjoy both approaches, and be happy about the situation.
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It really depends. One specific shop near my home has good quality frozen meat pancakes and dumplings. Yeah I have made dumplings by hand some 20 years ago, but those frozen ones are simply better. Maybe I can do some exotic dumplings with a buckwheat flour and a lot of eggs, but that would not necessarily be better, just different.
On the other hand, pasta sauce prepared from scratch will always taste better than store-bought one, mainly because the stores here only sell ketchup and mayo, and pretty much all pasta sauce here is some variety of tomato concentrate with a bit of carrots.
I would prefer to make it from scratch. But it’s usually cheaper to use frozen and I’m a broke bitch, so that’s usually what I have.
Pancakes definitely don’t matter. They’re easy because it’s just mixing a few powders and some milk or water and egg. Why not just buy those powders already mixed with a binder? Unless it’s Bisquick. Fuck Bisquick pancakes. They’re just flat dinner biscuits!
bisquick isn’t pancake mix. you need to add some oil and an egg or two.
but even then, fuck bisquick pancakes.
Pancake mix in particular benefits from the large scales at which the pre-mixed stuff is made. Measuring out those smaller proportions of dry powders precisely and accurately is much more difficult at home even if you opt for using a scale instead of measuring cups. Just read the ingredients list to avoid the brands that may include the extra binders and other ingredients you want to avoid.
I only buy krusteaz for pancakes. I don’t really think the amount of effort it would take to hand-make a similar batter would be worth it, nor would it taste remarkably better.
Though, for actual food, I have the same sentiment as you. I like to cook and experiment, and I have a fairly easy time adjusting things by taste, but I don’t have the time/energy/money to be doing everything from scratch.
Pancakes definitely don’t matter
Hard disagree. I don’t want 1/2 C of high fructose corn syrup, emulsifiers and preservatives in my pancakes, thanks!
1.5 C flour, 1/2 Tsp salt, 3 Tbsp baking powder, 1 egg, 1/2 C butter, then whole milk until you get the consistency you like. Best pancakes ever. People who need pancakes to basically be a vehicle to pour pure sugar into their mouth haven’t had good 'cakes.
Tell me more.
I’d like to make these pancakes you describe. I’m assuming you melt the butter first before mixing it in? Roughly how much milk is a good starting point?
I used to make Bisquick pancakes all the time, and recently changed to a name brand just add water kind because I tried it for camping once and realized it tastes just as good as the Bisquick, or good enough. I’m assuming that’s because Bisquick pancakes are also not actually that good, based on others in this thread.
I like convenience, but I also like good food. I’m gonna make both and do a blind taste test with the wife.
Just made some, added freshly ground nutmeg and a bit of vanilla :)
Thanks for reminding me! Maybe I’ll have pancakes for dinner tonight 😅
I will detail my typical pancake process:
- Add 1.5 C of all purpose flour, 1/2 Tsp salt, 3 Tsp baking powder to large mixing bowl. Whisk together for like 15 seconds.
- Heat 1/4 C of unsalted butter (half a stick) in microwave. Use spoon to make a small pocket in center of dry mix.
- Add butter and one whole egg to the pocket, begin to mix with dry mix with spoon, slowly working together starting from the middle. Don’t turn it all at once or it will cake up badly.
- Once the mixture starts to get a bit dry, start pouring milk in, small amounts as you continue to mix. The mix will expand, get dry, add milk, etc, until the entire mix is wet and combines well. Good pancake batter should pour relatively poorly, as it is just barely too thick to run, but you can add it to a pan with a spoon. If it’s a bit too runny for your liking it’s no big deal, just add a bit of flour.
- Ideally you have a cast iron pan that has been heating for this time, medium heat. On my coil burner I’m usually set to about 4.5. Too low will take forever, but too hot will cook the bottom way too fast and they burn. It takes experimenting to get your setup perfect. I suggest using a bit of butter before you add the batter: dollop it on, push it around the pan, then wipe dry with a paper towel. You don’t want sitting butter in the pan, as it will make the cakes heavy and weird tasting.
- Add batter to your liking. Once the batter begins to bubble up on the surface, flip it over. The second side should cook for a bit less time than the first.
My ideal pancake is a nice golden brown on one side and maybe slightly darker on the other, with a very subtly undercooked center. My partner always eats her body weight in cakes when I make them. I hope this works for you! Please tell me if you have other questions.
Replace half your milk with buttermilk and watch then grow super fluffy in the pan. And a nice flavor as well.
People who need pancakes to basically be a vehicle to pour pure sugar into their mouth haven’t had good 'cakes.
Do… you not put syrup on your pancakes?
I certainly don’t. The best pancakes have butter and very little sugar. Maybe I’ll add a drizzle of ultra dark maple syrup if I want that taste, but I certainly don’t drench it.
The proper amount of syrup would be “soaked”
My man!
Certainly, but do you not think that adding sugar to the pancakes as well as adding sugary syrup on top to be a little bit too much? I think it tastes best when you have a slightly salty, doughy pancake and then you can add the sugary syrup to that
This sounds like it has much less to do with food and much more to do with OP’s relationship
Apparently, OP’s wife prefers the taste of the pre-made stuff, because it reminds her of her mother’s cooking. But yeah, kind of a weird info to omit…
I would like to cook more as it just tastes way better (and is much more healthy), but I’m always exhausted especially after work. I suppose my answer is that right now I’m eating a lot of prepared (refrigerated or frozen) food, but would prefer home-cooked meals.
If you can, just do one pot of something that makes leftovers that hold well and are easy to reheat. After you get one thing, it gives you some breathing room for the next couple days.
I try to make a big pot of something on Sundays, so I don’t have to think about cooking Monday, maybe Tuesday. That gives me a little breathing room. I also make stuff I can portion and freeze - again, gives me a little breathing room.
Last week I was under the weather for 4 days, I just grabbed stuff out of the freezer and threw it in the toaster oven. Zero effort for my sick self. Now I need to restock what I used.
Meal prep is the way.
I think the one who cooks should do things their way and the others should not interfere unless there’s some kind of medical concern.
Whenever we order out, when I don’t have the energy to cook my son orders the gross pasta that cost 15€ and complain afterwards I do it better.
Today I did not want to cook, so he wanted to order the carbonara… if you would serve that to an Italian they would rather jump into the Vesuvius than eat it. I just skip the meal anyway because ordering out is not satisfying to me.
So damn it, made him a take away style tortellini with spinache and ricotta, shrimp (out of the freezer) and cream with fresh herbs, and on top mozzarella out of the oven, then salmon filet on skin out of a skillet, in compound butter on young salad leaves with a mildly sweet and sour garlic vinaigrette. This is cheaper than the 15€ take away. Took me half an hour, but I am a trained chef.
I do freeze prepared meals though, but I say fresh food over anything else. I certainly don’t buy any prefab from the supermarket.
anyone who seriously cooks will pick their battles. why make a cake from scratch when boxed mix is just as good. seriously, ask any pro baker.
premix or premade doesn’t matter, as long as the end results are the same, good food that can be enjoyed.
if you like cooking because you make everything by scratch, go for it. just know the only reason why it tastes better is because you think it tastes better. when you get down to it, chemicals are chemicals, and cooking is a branch of chemistry.
My stance is that if you make it from scratch then you know exactly what is in it. If you buy premixed then you don’t. Even worse if you buy pre cooked or even frozen after cooking then you’re basically eating like if you’d eat llreheated leftovers, half of the flavour which makes it taste good is gone.
If time is a problem I can live with not having the most of the flavour, but otherwise I totally enjoy the fresh made.
Its all a very complex equation of quality vs additives vs effort vs cost vs time vs storability vs fridge life vs convenience.
Some stuff is just too much or too little of some of them.
Sometimes I don’t have the motivation to cook, sometimes I do. Sometimes I have the motivation to get shit done that isn’t in the kitchen. Throwing a pizza in the oven can buy me an extra hour of working on something else because I don’t have to come in early to wash up, prep, cook, then wash the damn dishes.
Have both options available.
I’d call what you’re doing “cooking”.
I’d call what she’s doing “not cooking”.
My wife is definitely team ‘make it from scratch’.
She is also a very slow cook. We also have an infant that is currently taking up 110% of our time.
It’s hard for me to justify spending two hours a night preparing a lunch for the next day. She likes to sleep in, so I never get to eat it fresh… it’s always leftovers.
I don’t mind cooking something fresh for lunch or dinner, but I’ll do something that takes 20 minutes of prep and then take care of itself on the stove or in the oven. Chilli, pot roast, or a casserole.
I think frozen dinners probably have a better balance of protein/carbs/veg than either of us makes, and at half the price.
