I’m being very specific for a reason. I think I have a clue what family bond love is, but I don’t think I had experienced any type of romance in my 34 years of life.
I’m aware this answer will vary, but that’s why I’m expecting diverse answers and then I could make a sum of all of them.
It’s just oxytocin…
There’s no deep spiritual meaning/feeling.
Just oxytocin, dopamine, and some other shit.
Because of human variation, no two people will experience it exactly the same
That seems a solid argument. Biochemistry inside the human body regulates other “human states” and “love” shouldn’t be different.
I mean. That wasn’t an argument, that’s what happens
It’s all hormones and neurotransmitters, and we can get accustomed to it. Then when we dont get it, our body’s don’t like it.
A broken heart is just going thru withdraw.
A rebound is just not quitting cold turkey.
I’m expressing myself only because I’m well aware your description won’t be accepted by everyone since many give the human state of “in love” spiritual and even religious connotations.
I cant say you’re wrong, but it feels over simplified.
Like if you had learned that water evaporates into the air and when there’s too much, it rains, and then said that’s it. That’s all rain is. You wouldn’t be wrong, but you’re leaving out all the other factors like air pressure, warm and cold fronts, and the muthafuckin Coriolis effect!
Yes, it’s brain chemicals, but there’s also past trauma, core memories, and the muthafuckin Coriolis effect scrambling up those brain chemicals and turning them into brain hurricanes and hailstorms.
That doesn’t really explain how it feels though.
Because of human variation, no two people will experience it exactly the same
Because it’s incredibly subjective.
I don’t disagree with you about how it functions but would you say that differentiates romantic love from love for family or a pet for example?
Yeah, theres lots of different kinds, English just uses one word because English is (by and large) a shit language.
The Greeks had like 5 or 6 different words, English just uses adjectives which is just as functional.
However language changes the way we think. And English being so lazy like this leads to people “rediscovering” shit over and over.
On a biological level, yeah, different things get different levels of different things.
It’s a constant cocktail of shit, so different things hit different, even just randomly sometimes for no reason
It feels like the other person was made for you, you just feel it with their vibes.
Like breathing for the first time.
When you have been with someone for a long time it can feel a lot like family bond love but with more physical and emotional intimacy. Not everyone likes the idea of it in my culture but I think there is also an element of willing possession too.
“Dangerous”
You get one taste of it, feel it in your stomach, the pure elation, and can’t go back to how it was before. So many, if not most, instances of romantic feelings end in heartbreak. You may even be in a situation where you intellectually know it will end in heartbreak. And you know this, but you pursue it anyway.
I have a really hard time understanding my feelings. With a couple of romantic partners, I feel myself becoming happier when I’m with them. When they walk into the room, I get a little burst of oxytocin.
I don’t think I understood what it was in all instances.
Weirdly, I didn’t always feel at ease with them.
Like others have said: it varies from person to person. I haven’t felt the prosaic emotions other commenters described.
And, of course, it changes with time.
A mental disorder.
To me, romantic love is a deep sense of care and companionship for someone. You care deeply about their feelings, safety, happiness, and life. You also deeply long to be with them. That’s not always possibly, and when you’re not with them for extended periods, you miss them.
Romantic love is something that takes time to grow, usually out of infatuation. In other words, you can be head over heels for someone but not really be romantically in love with them.
Lastly, it’s something you want to continue. If you find yourself not wanting a relationship to continue, chances are it’s not love. (It could be, and you could just know that you’re not right for them.)
That’s my take, anyway.
Night at the Roxbury intensifies
It feels like the person you desire has hijacked your thoughts in the best way possible.
Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more.
Vladislav!
At first, rapid heart rate, feeling unreasonably nervous to see them then overjoyed when you do. Happy to just gaze at them for hours or getting lost in their eyes.
Sometimes that dulls a bit with time (sometimes not) and is supplemented by feeling connected to them always and wanting to include them in your life. Wanting to do anything to make them smile and make them feel seen. And feeling seen yourself.
Like a hot shower - comforting and warm, but also sometimes a bit painful. Relaxing, but also still has ‘work’ involved.
It’s different for everyone, but if someone gets in your head in a way that the first thing you think when you enjoy something is that you’d enjoy it even more if they were there to share it with you, to quote the big pizza pie, that’s amore! Or rather, it’s romantic feelings that are fertile ground for full blown love to grow from.
From there it’s all about how your emotions feel to you.
Love is just something that happens to you. You don’t get to understand it.
Having a romance makes you an expert on love the same way getting hit by a car makes you a mechanic.
