Where are the Greeks here? Someone please tell me how to say it in Greek.
Στον πούτσο μου λουλούδια και γύρω γύρω μέλισσες is a very niche phrase for those who are definitely not into the whole brevity thing. In reality most will say “on my dick” or “on my balls”. The complete expression is to write something that one does not care about on their dick or balls, but the first part about the writing is usually ommited.
I’m not Greek, but I think I got at least one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Muco7cKGOv8
I’ll write it here as well for those who don’t want to it delivered by the great Frank Skinner on QI in less than 20 seconds:
spoiler
"“κάτι τρέχει στα γύφτικα”, I think (hopefully I got that right.) Basically it means “who cares”, but literally it translates to “there’s trouble in the gypsy village.”
Spoiler Title
"“κάτι τρέχει στα γύφτικα”, I think (hopefully I got that right.) Basically it means “who cares”, but literally it translates to “there’s trouble in the gypsy village.”
This is more of a “so what else is new” statement though. Basically means the situation is exactly as expected or otherwise undeserving of further attention.
Oh okay I thought the connotation might not be the exact same, but I wasn’t entertained by it anyway so I linked it.
Thank you for informing me.
Turkish: Not on my cock (Sikimde değil)
I Brazilian portuguese that would be “Caguei” -> I took a shit
There’s also “to pouco me fudendo” -> I’m barely fucking myself
Not as obviously cool as the above, but I always liked the way Tagalog (Philippines) works: wala akong pakialam. Literally translated, it’s just “I don’t care,” but there’s a layer of passive-aggressiveness that can make it really offensive.
Hopefully interesting grammar lesson
In the Philippines, politeness is a really big deal, so big they have multiple layers to it:
- add “ho” - use for someone around your age to make the sentence polite
- add “po” - use for someone of higher status or age to make the sentence polite
- use plural form of you - makes anything more polite, and must be used w/ “po” with the elderly or people deserving/expecting respect
There are also pretty strict, unspoken rules about what is appropriate and what’s not appropriate to say in public.
Tagalog also uses prefixes to verbs for conjugation with separate prefixes for different uses of the same verb (e.g. physical action vs “internal” action, group action, habitual action, etc). The prefix here is “paki” (turns things into a request), and the verb is “alam” (to know). Literally translated, it means something like “please inform me,” though you could use other ways to communicate the same thing. My point here though is that “paki-” makes the request super polite.
To break it down: “wala” (Nothing, don’t have) “ako(ng)” (I, me), “paki-” (polite request), “-alam” (to know).
Basically, that construction throws out the entire culture of politeness while blatantly saying you don’t want anything to do with knowing about whatever that is. In many contexts, it’s more offensive than swearing at the person.
Sounds like like saying “didn’t ask”
I love this. The closest I’ve come in English is replying to a huge angry text rant with “Unsubscribe”
I feel like you can get somewhat close with some english speaking cultures, youd be surprised how pissy folks from the South get when you respond to their passive aggressive BS with curt but utterly impolite responses.
Bless your heart, darling.
I will skin you alive and make your family watch.
All these seem weird, but “don’t give a shit” is perfectly normal to me.
There are multiple ways to say “I don’t care” (which is what the expression stated means). You can say “Juckt?” Which is very informal and basically means “is it itching?” Or you could also say “das geht mir am Arsch vorbei” which means something like “its going next to my ass” (I don’t really know how to translate it in a better way, but it means, that said thing is passing your ass)
It cares me dick. (Spanish)
Interestingly also Polish have the same sentence with the same meaning.
A few others from french :
J’en parlerai à mon cheval (I’ll make sure to tell my horse)
Parle à mon cul, ma tête est malade (Talk to my ass, my head is sick/ill)
Je m’en tamponne le coquillard (no idea how to translate this, but here is a fun explainer, also in french)I slap my balls with it will be my catchphrase for 2025
French dudes running around tea-bagging everything they hate
Sounds like a regular afternoon in Paris
ah The State, well played
It is “I slap my balls ON it”, you frenchist
It sucks me (as in fellatio) an egg (testicle).
It sucks my dick.
I care a crow’s nest (as in ships)
I care a turd.
I care a shit.
(Spanish again, we are creative people, as someone pointed out, the New World is way more colorful than Spain)
It naps on my dick. (Bulgaria)
Rare french w
I would expect the French to win at swearing, but they’re only taking bronze on this one.
Layeth thine eyes upon my field of fucks and behold that it is barren.
Now that has(eth) style.
Less vulgar finnish version
“Kiviäkin kiinnostaa.”
i.e. rocks are also interested (about that subject)
And that’s a way more common way to say it IMHO.
“Zero fucks given” is both vulgar and not the most common way to say you don’t care about something in English. So the best equivalents should all be vulgar as well.
I get it, just pointing out that the vulgar version is not a very common way to express it in Finnish.
Makes sense. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a person say “zero fucks given” in real life, but I see it constantly online.
That was my first question: are people going around saying this?
“It doesn’t fuck a dick to me”
Italian
That is “non me ne fotte un cazzo”/“non me ne frega un cazzo” I suppose. There are so many variations, like “me ne sbatto il cazzo” (also “I jerk off to it”).
My personal favorite anyway is relates to this, bit with more subtext, quite used in Rome: “e ar popolo?” (“and to the people…?”) which implies “e ar popolo de Milazzo?” (“and to the people from Milazzo?”), which has the riming rethorical answer “non jene frega n’cazzo” (same as the first). I love it because it’s both ironical, passive-aggressive, dismissive and (somewhat) vulgar at the same time.
