The good: Honestly spider was a pretty solid choice, but I’ll go with an eagle for the flight and government immunity
The bad: A human (no powers)
The ugly: A wolf (furry)
Spider would be cool tbh. Tho what if you get their fucked up reproductive process where the female lays dozens or hundreds of eggs at once and also maybe tries to Eat her male partner, depending on species.
Or like, you lose your teeth and have to eat by injecting caustic fluid inside Whole Organisms to dissolve their tissues and slurp them up with your Newly-Formed palps/pedi-palps.
You might get venom, which is cool, but most spiders are only venomous to other arthropods because most spiders hunt primarily arthropods (occasionally small amphibians or reptiles for larger species, a couple tarrantulas are known to opportunistically hunt rodents or bird hatchlings, but they don’t have venom to begin with, so whatever). Unless you get a black widow or brown recluse or something. A dose of that vemon from a human sized Black Widow or Brown Recluse chimera (the Type of Thing you are now) would like 99% be enough to kill a person
Lady bug bite.
I would like to attain their hard candy shell and ability to fly.
Fwiw, a lady bug once bit my ear drum several times over the course of the longest half hour of my life up until that point. It hurts. A lot.
Man, that sounds horrible. I’ve only been bit on my arms and neck by them. I would pass on ladybug eardrum bites if offered, thank you.
For some reason, bugs like my ears. I’ve had several bug-in-ear experiences, and lemme tell you, none have been fun. Lady bug was the most painful, but only the second worst.
But, as the other commenter pointed out, perhaps there are people who enjoy the experience. It takes all types, and I don’t kink shame. But definitely do your research first and make sure you want to try it before you find yourself in the situation. Don’t wanna end up like the poop eater on reddit.
Don’t let one negative review scare you off of ladybug eardrum bites. There’s a tendency for only those with the most-negative (and rare!) experiences to post reviews, but there are a lot of us out there who’ve had only great experiences with ladybug eardrum bites.
Hey, if it’s your thing I’m not gonna judge. But I definitely find myself on the outside of that particular community.
I want the deep dive abilities of a Sperm Whale. Able to hold my breath for 90 minutes and survive 100+ atmospheres of pressure.
Alternately, get bitten by a sperm and spend your life drowning in pussy.
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Sperm is not an animal.
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Sperm will drown in lotion, tissue paper, toilets, mouths, assholes, various fruit, couches apparently, condoms, and probably an order of magnitude or few more places than just this small list I’ve constructed.
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Sperm don’t have a mouth and thus cannot bite.
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You’ll have to survive the bite first.
Juuuuust the tip.
A cat so I don’t have to explain why I need alone/chill time at home. It would be cool to be able to jump higher and dunk when around basketball hoops too.
A small spider bite, which gives me the ability to punch someone in the mouth through their TV or computer screen…It has always been one of my ideas for an online business
This is excellent. I have a very long list.
An axolotl. I love swimming, less so the idea of SCUBA diving. I’d spend so many hours just chilling in the coral reefs on a sunny day. They’re amphibious too so it means I could breathe just fine on land and in the water!
I want to get bitten by a capybara and get the superpower of being chill 100% of the time.
Have you considered switching to indicas?
I think peter from dead pool got that one
Based on the internet it also seems like every creature on earth is totally down to give a capybara a piggyback ride. I assume that influence is part of the capybara’s powers.
A housefly so my lifespan is 2 days
Good news,
Plenty of animal bites can give you the same or even a better experience!
Better in what way 🤨
7 minute abs.
The Immortal Jellyfish, taking their transdifferentiation ability in which they can reverse aging and damage at macro and cellular levels.
Hmmm… I choose the immoral jellyfish
I’ve seen that hentai.
Link?
No it was Zelda
That was super interesting, thanks for linking that!
I was going to say a frog since they can change sex.
But jellyfish can apparently change sex and be immortal, so, I change my answer to the immortal jellyfish too.
I’d be worried that picking jellyfish might cause you to lose your brain as well. Which would be pretty inconvenient outside of preparing you for a career in politics.
Mm, I assumed that wasn’t part of the deal. Spider-Man didn’t get the brain of a spider. It’s only select characteristics.
Hey-oh!
A chameleon so I can get the ability to camouflage. Well as long as I don’t move. Also I think I can grab the TV remote controller with my tongue. Or do insane tricks throwing food and catching it with my tongue. And well… maybe other nice things to find out with that tongue. 🔞
also, the eyes!
“Yes mom, I am paying attention to your story about who you met at the grocery store and definitely not just looking at my phone…”
Dog. I could train myself to find stuff (drugs and money, for starters) with my excellent sense of smell.
Do the superpowers have to correlate to the abilities of the animal that bites me, like Spider-Man?
Probably a grasshopper, if so. Being able to bound to basically anywhere I need to get would be nice, get some wings to course correct in the air. Or a mantis shrimp because then I really would never have to worry about losing a fight.
But if it’s any animal/any superpower: mosquito/super speed
Electric eel. Free electricity go brr
Nobody has mentioned radioactive spiders? It was the first thing I thought of.
Meh. That’s been done.
Get with the times, it’s now a GMO spider. :-)
Tardigrade, I’d have extreme resistance to basically all climates and can be dried up and rehydrated back to life effectively allowing me to “travel” through time by waiting in death…so my shows are all finished lol.
I’d also make a great astronaut
Edit: words
There is a pickle rick joke to be made in there somewhere…
