Morning cuddles
I slept in for forty minutes so why do i feel more tired
Just in case you’re wondering, there is a Tour de France app to look at while you’re watching…
Years ago, someone did a live feed using Google Earth mixed with the coverage and various graphs on screen and it was the best coverage I’ve seen…
Taking a break from a rewatch of The Strain to watch Abigail was doubly hilarious, it’s like watching Fet get nerfed.
Happy New Year everyone!
White rabbits white rabbits white rabbits
Happy New Year 🎉
Breakfast 🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍈🫐🍓🍇🍉🍌🍒🍑🥭🍍🥥🥦🥑🫛🍆🍅🥝🥬🥒🌽🥕🥐🍠🫚🥔🧅🥯🍞🥖🥨🧀🧇🥞🧈🍳🥚🥓🥩🍗🍖🫓🍕🍟🍔🌭🥙🧆🌮🌯🥗🍲🍜🍝🥘🍛🍣🍱🥟🦪🍥🍘🍚🍙🐠🍤🪼🦀🐙 🍗🥮🍢🍡🍧🍰🧁🥧🍦🍨🎂🍮🍭🍬🍫🥜🌰🍪🍿🍯🥛☕️🍵🍺🍶🥤🧋🧃🥂🍷🥃🍸🍹🧉🔋
Smoked salmon and cream cheese bagel please
🚬🐟🍦🍩
Ugh I bought some smoked NZ king salmon yesterday as a treat and now I think I know what I’m having for lunch… scrambled eggs and smoked salmon on toast with garden chives and parsley. And a tiny smidge of homemade hot sauce
That sounds amazing.
Back in the Covid days when my workplace was providing meals (in an attempt to make sure we showed up at work) I had the opportunity a few times to take home uneaten smoked salmon sandwiches from lunch. I made salmon risotto for dinner, then scrambled eggs with salmon for breakfast. It was really, really good.
Yummmm
Green jasmine tea and toast please. Also a handful of gummy vitamins to replace all the vitamins lost while I have been on pain meds for so long.
🍵🍞🧸🧸🧸🧸🧸🧸
nom nom thank you
Good Morning everyone
Today’s dream involved looking at planning applications… but every time I did, they fell apart. Like the drawings of the buildings collapsed on paper or on an aerial image. Or I’d head on site and watch them blow up in front of me. Meanwhile Sufjan Steven’s Eugene has been playing in my head in the dream and while awake. …and he called me Subaru… And now I wanna be near you 🎶
Today’s dream was the big house where I grew up my first six years. It was a big beautiful house divided into large apartments with stained glass and staircases and carved stone. My first memories are from there and they were happy memories of music and the young musicians who lived there
The Remuneration Tribunal that determines the wages of Victorian politicians has just released it’s determination. The government which has a policy that govt. sector employees should have wage rises capped at 3% has just been awarded 3.5% raises for themselves.
With all the other benefits they get as well? What a joke.
Of course they have.
Here’s the dinner report after the husband’s folks came for dinner.
So it mostly went to plan. After dinner and I had cleaned up I sat down to do some needle work but bro was bored and he’d been very sick, just came out of hospital, so I took pity on him. After he insulted me just a little and I pushed back a little I asked him if he reads audiobooks, as that may be an easy way for him to do an interesting activity. He said they always send him to sleep. My radar immediately pinged real loud, I’m always on the alert for when he or others talk about their experience in cults. I went on to explain that the books he was listening to were designed to relax him and even send to him sleep. I explained how the tapes were relaxing, why the makers of the tapes did that and how those books differ to regular audio recordings of regular novels and nonfiction books. I never once used a value judgement or trigger word. I never mentioned the cult nor any people in the cult, I kept it fact based and impersonal. He listened with interest and very intently.
I’m a very good cult deprogrammer.
This is an old throwback now: Does anyone remember me complaining about some “Mates” Who had kids and made some really distasteful “Jokes” back when we were still struggling ourselves? Something about throwing their baby in the bin or something cause he was frustrating them? Well, got a bit of an update on them.
Drama
They are struggling. Hard. Her mental health is in the bin, and he is pushed for time having taken a job that seems him out of the house from 5am till 6 or 7 pm. Add another kid to the mix and its not going well. he made a joke about “Needing more support”. I laughed cause we also don’t have family around us. But I think it was kind of a hint and I just… fucking no chance. I didn’t say anything, but there is NO way we’re stepping into that mess.
Almost everything that’s going wrong was visible from a mile away before they made the decision. Her mental health is crap cause her family fucking suck, but she does running back to them every time. They threw a dog and another baby on top of the first one who I think has some development issues. The whole thing is a mess and i know it sounds cruel, but there’s no way to help them without them trying to suck you into the vortex of their drama. I’ve made that mistake 2 or 3 times before, I’m not making it a 4th time. If you could just drop off a meal or babysit for a bit to help without hearing how horrible everything is and leaving feeling worse for having done a nice thing…
I feel sorry for them, but at what point do you go “You’ve kind of shot yourself in the foot there, can you please not bleed on my kitchen floor?”
Does seem that they’re setting themselves up to fail - and each to have enough material to put the blame on the other. Shit show coming up, so I would suggest distancing yourself - you have enough to cope with with your own responsibilities. They need professional help (and sounds like both need a good kick up the backside too).
There’s a reason why airlines stress that you should put on your own oxygen mask BEFORE putting them on your kids.
It gets to a point when people need to face consequences of their actions and decisions.
You can empathize with them without putting yourself out there to help.
There is plenty on your plate to deal with, without the additional complexity of someone’s problems.
A diplomatic answer is “I’m sorry that’s the situation you’re in, but we currently don’t have the time and capacity to help”. If this person persists and keeps asking ‘why not’, maybe stop talking to them. ‘No’ is a complete sentence.
i think I’m just gonna take some space from them tbh. The mental load of just being with them and seeing the struggle was a lot. Came home and joked with the mrs “I know we’ve got our hands full some times, but maaaan that really puts things in perspective”.
As we get older, we realise that not everyone is a positive addition to your life. Obligations to friends (and family) diminish as you start looking out for yourself and your family.
yeah 100%. Got a full time job of being a dad. Can help others float but not at the risk of being pulled under with them.
Good grief. And here I am, early thirties, stressed I’m falling behind.
Don’t burn yourself to keep others warm. They both need help, but they need to ask the right orgs. The most I would do is point them towards Ask Izzy if they’re struggling financially.
Honestly reckon they just need an adult to come in and go “Right, you do X, You do Y! No not tomorrow, right fucking now!” But good point on burning yourself to keep others warm. We’re managing ok where we are right now, but if we’re being honest having a toddler is tough some days! Rewarding, dont get me wrong! But tough. We’re all running our own race.
personally I wouldn’t mind whinging, it’s just a coping mechanism
it’s when they are also abusive to me or are angry when offered assistance that i nope out, iow, is it real or is it a game, is it tragedy or a personality disorder
the woman sounds isolated and in need of an ear, would benefit from joining a mom’s group
Playgroups are a lifeline for mums and dads. I still talk to mums who I met through there.
She sort of expects you to get involved with their shit like bitching about him to you or whatever as if she expects you to fix it? And at first you kind of understand, we all do it to a lesser degree. But after the 8th time of hearing how horrible a situation is that has a really obvious (if uncomfortable) solution it gets tedious as fuck! Yes, life is hard sometimes, but if you never make an effort to fix things it wont get better. A great example is the dog. She’ll go “Oh the dog is so hard to manage” “have you taken him to training yet?” “No, not yet, I’ve just been sooo busy with X” Right… its been 2 years bro. At at certain point this is YOUR fault.
Agreed they need a support network, just dont think we can be it for them.
Not all effort is visible. The biggest effort a person makes is getting to the psychological position where they are able to understand what is happening , understand themselves and start to look for ways to make change.
If they get angry when they are offered help or helped then it’s a game and then I would outright stop. If they are abusive then I would stop.
Stick to your guns man. Don’t hurt yourself to help others when you’re trying to balance your own life.
It starts off a couple of hours of babysitting, ends up the whole day because of unforeseeable circumstances. I know a couple who drop their kid off at the in-laws for 4 hours so they can do the “shopping”. Shopping right, yeah sure.
from what I understand getting her out of the house would be an achievement. But man I’d happily take the kids if it meant they could clean the house or something! I’m not one for judging, i’ve got a toddler I know its hard and our place is frequently a mess too. But theirs looks like the start of a hoarders episode. Trouble is their kid doesnt listen to them, so theres no chance I’m looking after a kid that cant/wont listen to me.
Trouble is their kid doesnt listen to them
oh god, that’s because the kid is hearing disrespectful talk and seeing disrespectful behaviour between his parents . 😖
Possibly, or its part of his development issue. its hard to tell. They keep saying they are seeking help with them, but ever time I ask they seem to be waiting for something.
That’s incredibly sad. I hope she gets the help she needs because that’s no way to live.
yeah I hope so. But I dont think theres a diplomatic way to say “Hey I see you guys are struggling, I think maybe applying X Y and Z might help a bit” without being sucked in.
Yep. You’ll either get told EVERYTHING or told to mind your own business.
They seem like the type of couple that don’t think things out enough. Something new becomes something old very fast. Never content.
You’re doing the right thing by staying out of it, as hard as it may be.
You’re doing the right thing by staying out of it, as hard as it may be.
Cheers, I think I was looking for that even if I didnt know it.
Well, you help a mate out. You can’t manage their life for them. You’ve got your own household. Cheers.
I’m starting off the new financial year with pay day today. A bit of a tax cut and a sliver more Super. If the new EBA gets through there will be a pay rise in a couple of months. Not enough to keep up with the CPI increases of the last couple of years but it’s nice to be finally closing the gap a bit.
Gratitude thread
I’m grateful for the lollies at work today. Also grateful for the heater and going to see friends later.
I am grateful for my cat who is acting as a purry lap warmer, my dog who acts as personal trainer and motivates me to be active even in cold weather, and for my large supply of eggs as I hear they are currently a bit hard to come by.
Gratitude update: I am now also grateful that my application for critical illness insurance has been accepted with no fuss and I will not be needing to have a blood test.
Grateful once again for being able to take today off and having a supportive workplace. Grateful for the stability of my jobs so that even if this study thing doesn’t go the way I’d like it to, I don’t have to worry about my self worth. Grateful for my super comfy and warm alpaca wool jumper - feels like a hug.
Grateful for being able to keep warm in this miserable cold weather.
I’m grateful for tulip season, and eggs and avo on toast for lunch.
Digging deep today:
Grateful that there’s food in the fridge and fluffy butt to keep me company
Trampoline dude wanted to go on a date. I did not. We are not talking anymore. He only wants to talk to me for romantic purposes now it seems.
He took a leap of faith, but you were right not to fall for his attempt to bounce into your bed.
Sounds like he’s been… bounced.
I wouldn’t jump on that.
Brilliant stuff! this is what i come here for!
Badum tssssssss
Ah yeah… I hate to say it but often no matter how clearly you communicate, hanging out with guys one on one (or in general) usually still gets taken as more and then you get blamed for ‘leading them on’ 🙄
Makes it difficult to have cross gender friendships
double jump that guy to the curb.
Guess his attempts fell flat.
I was confused at first because I interpreted wrong but I don’t think it’s very romantic for you as all he wanted was a one night stand or you as a f buddy.
Just going to say that “trampoline dude” is a really cool name. I would not object to being known as trampoline dude.
Well, not now. But a few days ago it would have been a cool thing to be known as.
I have a business idea for anyone that wants to take it. I noticed Red Hat have a partner page, and their aren’t a lot of Australian based companies on there. LibreOffice also has a page about LibreOffice enterprise and LibreOffice in the cloud.
Go through the certifications and you could have your own consultancy that sets up Linux and LibreOffice for businesses.
It’s not a guaranteed money maker and you’d need to offer other services, but it’s nice to know there’s an option to get people off Windows. There might be demand for it with concerns around recall and the demands of Windows 11.
Do with this what you want, I don’t have the time, skills, or network to make this viable myself.
