I have heard from multiple people that eye contact is essential in letting a girl (or guy, I guess) know you’re interested.
But what is the 411 when it comes to said eye contact? Do you keep looking until she does? Do you then keep staring? Or is like looking at the sun? What’s the deal?
There are plenty of videos out there on body language or “non verbal communication”. A common one which i picked up on long ago and to myself referred to as “the uppy/downy” look is what you want. It’s a clue someone MIGHT be into you when they make eye contact, look away (usually down), then make eye contact again. Allegedly they are checking you out, looking away, then looking to see if you’re still looking. It’s fair to say it works both ways.
My opinion is that nothing insincere works, and you’d better find that interest inside yourself and allow it to guide you. Even if you won’t manage a lot of eye contact.
But admittedly I have a diagnosis and I don’t have a girlfriend.
find that interest inside yourself
I looked in my asshole but found something else entirely. Where is can I look? What other spot can I pick?
You’re a grownup. Use your words.
I’m thinking more like this.
You won’t get good answers on social cues from Lemmy. You might get good Linux tips though.
Fair enough, what Linux command do you use to make eye contact?
touch eyes
This is inappropriate on so many levels:
- If there are eyes and you touch them it’s wrong.
- If a person doesn’t have eyes touching where they are isn’t going to be a winning strategy either
- If you touch a file in Linux called eyes and create it people will be very confused
- If there’s already an existing file called eyes that’s disturbing. What? Why?
cat eyesof Sauron [elrond@rivendell ~] runuser -l guest.frodo -c '/home/guest.frodo/ring.sh' cat eyes cat: no such file or directory
export DISPLAY=:0; xeyes
Bruh just use screen
Sure 😏 (Public key already on my profile, if you want)
Why won’t you send me your private key? Don’t you trust me? 🥺💔😭
---BEGIN PGP PRIVATE KEY--- hunter2 ---END PGP PRIVATE KEY---😉
How does one patch KDE2 under FreeBSD?
Probably using ports, but it depends on the version.
LinusSexTips
I’m going to need class 101 on 411 as I’ve no idea what it is
In the US, 411 was/is a phone number you could call for “information”, specifically directory assistance. Many carriers no longer offer it.
411 is number I think they post on high ways when people don’t know where to find what they need in the area.
From my experience, if you make eye contact, look away briefly, then look back. If she’s still looking at you, hold eye contact for a moment and smile. If she likes you, she’ll likely smile back.
If she’s purposely avoiding making eye contact the second time, don’t be a creep, carry on with your day 👌
There’s a very thin line between the longing look of admiration and the cold gaze of a serial killer.
No no no. If she’s purposely avoiding eye contact you have to stare at her with wide open eyes and a big smile.
If she walks away follow her, if she starts running away from you, run after her. She’s telling you to come over.
That’s how you conquer a woman /s
It’s not just eye contact, there’s all the rest of it too including other body language and how you’re speaking to someone.
That said, I used to occasionally hang with a guy that chased all the girls (the kind of guy that would ignore you as soon as a girl he could be interested in showed up) and he would all but stare at her in conversation. Made me uncomfortable by proxy, lol. Seemed effective, but that’s what he did.
Snap snap grin grin wink wink nudge nudge say no more! Know what I mean, nudge nudge?
Works 100% percent of the time.
I look like this…
Consent. Body language is just words with a more physical language, so you’d act similar as you would with words. If the interest answers with positive eye contact it is more likely that the interest is mutual in a different language as well, but NOT a given. Gist: Listen with your eyes.
But how is OP meant to do that if they don’t know what they’d even be listening for? I’m not single these days but I never figured this whole body language thing out either, people’s movements just don’t seem to mean all that much.
Adding a smile goes a long way, or at least it used to.
In her book “How to talk to anyone” Leil Lowndes suggests that when speaking with women it’s best to maintain constant, unbroken eye contact to signal attention and interest. She goes on to note that even when engaged in conversation with multiple people one should act as if their eyes are constantly glued to the woman, only briefly looking away when another person is speaking and behaving as if your eyes are irresistibly drawn back to the woman of interest. She believes this formula is best in male to female conversations and female to female conversation.
By contrast, she notes that when engaged in a male to male conversation, one should regularly break eyecontact as not to be perceived as a threat. However, one should still act as if your eyes are being irresistibly drawn back to theirs.
… I have no idea what Lowndes’s qualifications are and frankly this sounds like a formula written by an alien trying to understand humans but hey maybe theres some merrit to it idk
The only community I’ve been in where men constantly break eye contact is the military. And that’s because we were in Iraq and constantly checking out surroundings as we talked. Men are not gorillas. Eye contact is perceived as paying attention to the conversation.
Okay but where’s the line between “unbroken eye contact to signal attention and interest” and just being a creepy stalker?
Gotta follow rules 1 and 2, of course.
Varies with attractiveness.
Can confirm. Have been told I have dangerous eyes.
the line between […] just being a creepy stalker?
Depends mainly on your own looks, and a little bit on the question if she’s already into you:
Are you closer to George Clooney or The Real Life Hunchback?
Well, I got the impression that the author was mostly hanging out in upper class society. So while she’s asserting that these rules are universally applicable, her frame of reference seemed to be mostly talking to people in situations like fundraisers and galas. I imagine she’s operating on a framework of always having some prior knowledge of the people she’s engaging with.
She goes on to note that even when engaged in conversation with multiple people one should act as if their eyes are constantly glued to the woman, only briefly looking away when another person is speaking and behaving as if your eyes are irresistibly drawn back to the woman of interest.
Honestly, as a woman, if a man started doing this to me in a group I’d be freaked the fuck out
Focussing… Focussing…I think they mean 1 on 1
Jesus christ dude
She goes on to note that even when engaged in conversation with multiple people one should act as if their eyes are constantly glued to the woman
Yep. As if women would never perceive men as a threat based on the same signals men would use to perceive threat.
Men, logical and hunter warrior manly men. Women, attention seekers. Therefore, stare down pretty women to show manly manness.
Alpha bro evo psych is so wild.
Yeah but due to conditioning from many generations of patriarchy, the man being perceived as a threat might actually help his chances. A disproportionately high ratio of women seem to enjoy threatening sexual partners.
If getting laid is the only goal, the male has more to fear from not trying than fear of rejection. That and pepper spray.
Kinda sounds like it would be the same kind of thing that brought forth the whole “alpha male” thing.
Almost like sex hormones change the way people act and react
I got that vibe throughout the entire book. It really smelled to me of someone trying to justify their own success when in reality she was probably just born with the right connections.
So I think the question could be refined a little. Eye contact helps build connection between people, but it’s not the only piece of the puzzle. Maybe a better question is “'How do I communicate more empathetically?”
There’s another question; “How do I let someone know I’m interested?” This question is related to the first in that trying to get close to another person (being vulnerable with each other) and communicating your feelings is how you let someone know your interested.
TLDR: get to know them and tell them you’re interested. If they say they’re not interested you can probably still be friends since you already got to know each other. Empathy and humility/vulnerability are key in building relationships.
Yeah people like it when you take a genuine interest in them so asking about their hobbies and passions is also a good way to flirt. Basically you are trying to give the other person the sense that you are equal parts interested and impressed by them.
Edit: Been with my wife for 13 years now so this is probably bad advice for youngsters. These days they likely stare at their phones and send aubergine emojis to each other while sitting 2 feet away
I’m not yet 30 and I think it’s good applicable advice. I think you can actually practice a lot of these skills by making friends. The difference between romantic and platonic isn’t that big.
bro the last paragraph makes you sound like an ailen trying to mimic humans ngl
I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Do I sound like a handsome alien, at least?
GREETINGS FELLOW HUMAN
