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Being afraid to ask for help, and general pride issues.
Honestly, not checking in on each other.
There are a lot of stereotypes in this thread, and some I’ve encountered, some I haven’t. But I do know that there is an epidemic of loneliness among men, and it is very real and sometimes deadly.
Damn, this needs to be at the top.
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Customers hitting on people at their job.
Was eating lunch at a bar one time when three dude bros came in and started hitting on the bartender. They weren’t overly aggressive but it was obnoxious.
She handled it really well. She looked each of them in the eye, smiled, introduced herself and shook each of their hands in turn. She stated she was a professional and appreciated being treated like one. She was friendly but firm.
Shut them right the fuck up. They behaved much better after that.
She has done countless subsequent women a huge favour.
This one’s a pet peeve, especially if the guy is with me.
IMO it’s one of the easiest ways to discover your friend likely has zero game with women who aren’t paid to be nice to them. But that also means it’s a good opportunity to help the friend figure out why they’re striking out all the time and maybe in the process help them be less of a bore.
Btw, if you’re a guy reading this and feel called out, you might be thinking
“What, so bartenders and waitresses are totally off-limits?”
Of course not. You can shoot your shot, just stay holstered until the bill is paid and/or they’re off the clock. (Unless they fire first, then good luck.)
Dudes that nitpick jokes.
meta
Not just guys, but mainly.
In the engineering field and other technical realms you’ll often find an asshole coming out of their shell under the guise of superior life choices. They full delude themselves into believing other trades and interests are less than because they don’t benefit society in such a directly visible way.
I should know, I was brainwashed into the cult for a few years. It took seeing it go to the extreme before I snapped out of it and started respecting other career and life choices.
guys at work comlaining about their divorce to anyone entering an enclosed room. four different times when i was forced to work in an office and twice so far in slack. mother fucker i dont known you but i already get why she left. stop trying to force random people to be your therapist.
Standard guy who can’t fathom the idea of changing or self-improvement. He’s never the problem.
I’ve seen this, and what bothers me most is when you get that nasty feeling they’re not looking for a therapist, but validation. Yeah, your ex-wife sucked, man. She was totally in the wrong about everything always, sorry you had to deal with her for so long. I’m sure you’re in the clear and there’s nothing you could be blamed for, it’s easy to tell from this one-sided retelling of your personal conflicts.
When anyone’s first topic of choice for casual conversation is how much their last partner was in the wrong, it’s… difficult not to be dubious.
When i was around 16 and drove around with co workers, they always had to comment on women they saw on the street. Oh she’s so hot. Look at her boobs. Ew she’s ugly. They were super nice guys, but i always just sat there quietly thinking: maybe when i’m an adult i’ll be like that and don’t feel so awkward anymore. I’m always 40 now and still when i sit in a car with guys i don’t really know, nothing has really changed. I still just roll my eyes and when i see a lady with big boobs, i hope no one else saw her. But they always do and have something extremely funny to say.
Guy at work always starts sexist shit when no other women are around, maybe wanting to built camaraderie or something? Toxic masculinity is a myth. Women all want the bad boys. No thanks we can avoid the 1:1 convos from now on.
Ugh.
If you consciously change your behaviour once there’s no women around… Yeah, chances are you won’t see me again unless I’m absolutely forced to.
It’s like some people think they’re contractually obliged to make a sexist joke or some shit. Thankfully I don’t meet these people often.
The inability to accept/ ask for help.
Because then they’re told they’re weak…
Thought of another trait that is as toxic as it is annoying: apparently a man must outwardly show how attracted he is to “hot” women around him or he must be gay, and apparently that in itself is also implied to be a disappointment.
But then when he does it in front of his girlfriend, he’s being unfaithful. But if he doesn’t express interest in other women then his opinion on his partner’s hotness doesn’t matter because he must not be into women or he’s not macho enough since macho people are supposed to ogle women.
God I’m glad I’m not closeted anymore…(I’m polyamorous, agender, and pansexual).
God, that’s so weird. A boomer aged progressive will some times point out hot women to me. Not even in his age group. It really is just hard coded in that whole generation.
Making fun of people for admitting they don’t know things.
I wish more guys just said they didn’t know something instead of clearly not knowing what they’re talking about and running their mouth based on vibes
In eighth grade I got into an argument on the bus, precursor to the Internet, with a kid about my ignorance of sex. He drew a picture of a diaphragm and ridiculed me for not knowing what it was.
A friend of mine keeps doing this. He’ll pretend to be an expert of fucking anything, and you can generally tell immediately that he doesn’t know shit. When he goes on about things that I actually do know things about it’s unbearable, and of course his ego is too fragile to handle being told he’s wrong.
We have a lot of impressive common friends with awesome general knowledge, and I frequently wonder how the hell we have the patience to keep him around. My general knowledge is shite, but at least I’m quite open about being ignorant.
He’s hyper sensitive about social situations, yet introducing him to new people is almost always embarrassing.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, he is a professional psychologist.
I have a friend like this but he’s fortunately self aware enough to confess that he just like lecturing when you call him on something. It’s almost endearing
Wait what’s wrong with psychologists? I respect them for just not killing themselves from having to deal with other people’s psychological problems.
Yeah, it’s an important and challenging job, and I have several friends who are psychologist.
It is, however, a bit of a stereotype that a lot of people who choose to become psychologists are often to some degree themselves viable clients. Perhaps wanting to understand themselves is a motivation to study it in the first place.
They can still do an amazing job, but I think a lot of psychologist find themselves in a Pagliacci situation where they can help anyone but themselves.
Your friend is Jordan Peterson
Thank god he is guaranteed to hate Jordan Peterson - he has redeeming qualities as well. But reading back my comment it’s uncanny how much it sounds like him.
I know one of these. He’s extremely insecure and has other issues but he will talk about ANYTHING as if he were an expert
The inability to admit that they’re wrong.
Some guys never grow out of The Badass Persona that a lot of teenagers like to portray. It’s extremely annoying from a guy in his 50’s.
Define badass because I’m a very stoic person outside of my job and people always call me a hard ass and I don’t know how to feel about it.
It means a dude who is a loudmouth, likes to threaten people, and is a bully to compensate for an inferiority complex. A real asshole.
Ah good then I’m no longer worried that people are insulting me.
Micromanagement and the need to take credit for work other people do. Of all the incompetent bosses I’ve had over the years, micromanagers are the worst and all of the micromanagers for whom I’ve worked have been men.
It’s like, dude, you hired me because I know more about doing this task than other people (including you). Stop hovering over me, when I need your input I’ll come get you. Just let me fucking cook. I know what I’m talking about and what I’m going… you employ me specifically because I know what I’m talking about and what I’m doing.
I guess their thought process goes: if I’m not hovering over this person at all times, the company might figure out I don’t know 100% of 100% of everything my employees do day to day… even though that’s insane. What company would require a manager to know absolutely everything about how their employees do their jobs; a manager obviously shouldn’t be completely in the dark about operations but also it’s crazy to think they’d want them to be an expert on everything.
“Check out my hotsauce collection!” or otherwise making mundane things into competitions.
…ok, I’ve never considered hot sauce as something to collect.
But I DO collect amiibo. And if I owned my own house you can bet there would be a whole room where I display them.
Whats wrong with feeling proud of your collecting habbits?
Filthy habbitses…
But it make food taste better.
I guess it’s bordering on being literal poison. Chilli peppers have evolved specifically to be inedible by mammals. So I guess being obsessed with hot sauce is not a toxic trait per se, but it’s in the neighborhood.
More seriously though, I love spicy food, but not all food is supposed to be spicy. Leave other favours room to breathe as well.
To me, just that statement reads like collecting something, being proud of it, and wanting to start a conversation or find shared interest in it rather than some competition. Maybe I’m lacking context?
So I think I know what you’re talking about, but I don’t think having hobbies is the issue here.
You do see this a lot when guys are talking and someone brings up a sort of niche hobby (tech, fan bases, something that requires a lot of knowledge)
Guys will all show interest but not want to be talked down to or mansplained to on a topic they’re passionate about (yes ladies we experience it too)so they overcorrect and try to prove their knowledge real fast.
This sometimes leads to a sort of feedback loop where the other person thinks they’re trying to one up them and tries to be the more knowledgeable one and on and on, I’ve seen so many guys do this, that’s why I avoid talking about hobbies with IRL friends (looking at you RuneScape)
If you use hot sauce so slowly you can keep a collection going, you’re doing it wrong.
I’m picky about which hot sauce goes with which foods, so I have a ton of hot sauces “in use” in my refrigerator at any given time.
Using them almost constantly, I don’t feel I’m doing it wrong.
But maybe I’m misunderstanding “collection” — would this be a ton of unopened bottles kept somewhere?
I guess the latter was my assumption. I, like you, have several in rotation. Usually 3-4 “super hots” from Puckerbutt, some interesting ones, a couple Asian-style options, a Louisiana style, and, during pepper season, a fermented style of my own creation.
But I just use them all the time on almost every meal. It would never really occur to me to bring them all out and put them on the table and be like, “behold, my collection,” though I guess when I have people over and I cook/grill, I bring a few out and let people know the heat range if they want any. But that’s kind of what you do with condiments, and no one would say “he’s showing off his bbq condiment collection” if I brought out a few styles of bbq sauce.
I guess I just envisioned some guy with a room dedicated to his shelves of unopened hot sauce like those dudes that collect unopened toys. Lol
Feeling slightly attacked, I’m big on the hot sauce but are people making this competitive? I don’t understand, is hot sauce rare in some places?
