Do you know if you want to keep seeing them? If you do, or if you aren’t sure yet, I think you just need more info. They might have experience with a violent ex, and so they’re hyper-tuned to worry “what if this person I like suddenly becomes violent.” Talking about an ex would definitely be a trigger for a lot of violent people, so it makes sense she was worried about that topic specifically. Anyways, maybe sit them down and say something like:

“Thanks for giving me a little time to process things, so I wouldn’t say something I didn’t mean. I was surprised when you said you were afraid I might become violent, as I’ve never been violent with another person, and I don’t think my behavior is even very aggressive.” (Assuming that’s true about you, which I can’t really know). “I want to know why you were worried about that possibility, and I don’t feel like you gave me a clear answer last time we spoke. That being said, I totally understand this might be a sensitive subject for you, so I don’t want to rush you if you’re not ready to talk about it. But I like you, and I want to get to know more about you, and it will be hard for me to feel comfortable continuing to see you if I don’t know what caused you to say what you did a couple days ago.”

Or hey, maybe you aren’t the best judge of yourself. Maybe include something in there like “If you feel like I have raised my voice or acted aggressively sometimes, I would really like to know, as I’m not aware of behaving like that. I promise I will be calm and collected if you want to tell me something like that.”

I dunno, or maybe ask ChatGPT, it can probably write up something pretty good.

Oh yeah, but in summary, I think you are assuming her intentions were malicious due to your saying she’s gaslighting you, when I’m not really 100% sure that’s the case yet. I’d give her a chance to explain, but if y’all keep seeing each other, just keep an eye out for any further weirdness.

Peter: I wouldn’t say I’ve been “missing” it, Bob. 😉

In response to a customer support message. https://www.resetera.com/threads/to-anyone-who-is-curious-no-you-cannot-transfer-your-steam-account-via-a-will-you-can-only-take-your-games-to-your-graves.875634/

HARRY DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!

The tent looks reversed, but I believe all the rest. Crazy stuff.

To get out of those spirals, I just remind myself that I’ve probably forgotten hundreds of things other people probably regret saying/doing, and odds are most people probably forgot mine. Even if I’m sure someone didn’t forget it, I doubt they ever think about it anymore.

I see indie devs sharing inspirations, but what’s the cool thing Twitter is going?