Because all the conversation I’ve seen has been against Trans Women going to women’s restrooms. Which is strange to me because, according to the twisted concept of TERFs, Trans men are not men (even though they are), but “women”.

Aren’t they worried about “women” going into men’s bathrooms?

  • AA5B@lemmy.world
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    7 个月前

    Doesn’t this just follow long established gender norms (self referential joke intended)?

    As a thought exercise assume two genders and consider your reaction toward using the wrong restroom.

    • most people would be up in arms over a man using a woman’s bathroom
    • it may be novel for a woman to use the men’s room but does anyone really care? Think of a big event where there’s a huge line at the women’s room. Aside from annoyance at potentially having to wait, do you really care if some of the women use the men’s room? Or a high end bar/club? I’ve been in several that have a woman as a restroom attendant and my only concern is why do I need an attendant, why do I need to tip someone I’d prefer wasn’t there, regardless of gender. Again, I’ve never heard anyone complain.

    So it actually does make sense for this issue to be an outgrowth of long standing societal norms, but maybe it’s an opportunity to have a deeper discussion about why we do that and whether/when it’s warranted at all. We had shared bathrooms in college and everyone survived (although I was always frustrated that I never used it as an opportunity for “fun”)

  • flamingos-cant (hopepunk arc)@feddit.uk
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    7 个月前

    TERFs don’t want trans people using any toilet. TERFs want to push trans people out of public life, and ideally to stop existing all together, by making existing in it as difficult as possible.

  • Opinionhaver@feddit.uk
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    7 个月前

    I think the main reason people aren’t as concerned about trans men using men’s restrooms is that they don’t pose any more physical threat to the men in there than any other man would. A trans woman using the women’s restroom, on the other hand, is seen - fairly or not - as potentially introducing a physical dynamic that some people find more concerning.

    I mean, even a cis woman could walk into a men’s restroom and most guys wouldn’t care. At my local swimming hall, there’s often a cleaning lady washing the floors in the men’s locker and shower area while guys are completely naked around her, and no one bats an eye. Now imagine the chaos if a 50-year-old male cleaner walked into the women’s showers - completely different reaction.

    For the same reason most don’t care if a trans male athlete wants to play against cis men but they do care when it’s the other way around.

    • Genius@lemmy.zipBanned
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      7 个月前

      What about a trans man going into the women’s restroom? Why don’t they care about that?

      spoiler

      Because they’re stupid

      • Opinionhaver@feddit.uk
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        7 个月前

        Cis women don’t care about a trans man going into the women’s restroom because they’re stupid?

        I’m not sure what you’re getting at, but I’d argue the opposite - many cis women would care about a trans man entering their restroom, just like they’d care about a cis man doing the same. From their perspective, it’s often about perceived male presence, regardless of the person’s gender identity.

        • Genius@lemmy.zipBanned
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          7 个月前

          They would if they knew trans men existed. But there are women who make their entire political identity about trans people, and still don’t know trans men exist. Because they’re stupid.

  • Buelldozer@lemmy.today
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    7 个月前

    It’s not a TERF thing. Nearly no one cares about who goes into a “Men’s” Restroom and it’s always been that way.

  • IronKrill@lemmy.ca
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    7 个月前

    As far as I can tell, no. No one ever seems to care. I can only assume it’s because they view men as the “dominant” sex and women as “weak”.

  • Taleya@aussie.zone
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    7 个月前

    Nope. Because it’s about policing women and the appearance of women and the gender norms of women while pretending to be so very very concerned about the safety of women.

    • Blackmist@feddit.uk
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      7 个月前

      Look, we need to protect the sanctity of women’s sports, while paying them about 1% of whatever ludicrous amount men get, so they can play at empty stadiums.

      • Taleya@aussie.zone
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        7 个月前

        I’m normally against gatekeeping but I fully support demanding people “concerned about the sanctity of women’s sport” actually name three women’s sports teams.

        • AA5B@lemmy.world
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          7 个月前

          Then double down to challenge them for three trans athletes on women’s sport teams. Anywhere

      • But the best time for a womens soccer game is 11am on a Wednesday! I am sure everyone interested enough will take the day off to go watch and if the stadium is empty, thats because womes sports are uninteresting and the men play better.

    • mic_check_one_two@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      7 个月前

      Ding ding ding. It’s just another form of the “won’t someone think of the children” fear mongering that gets used to restrict freedoms.

  • andros_rex@lemmy.world
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    7 个月前

    They celebrated when Noah Ruiz (a trans man) was assaulted by men for being in the “wrong” bathroom (he had been told to go to the woman’s.)

    • AA5B@lemmy.world
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      7 个月前

      This brings up an interesting question or I’m not close enough to the problem to have thought of. I’ve seen women use men’s rooms plenty of times and no one cares.

      • Is it because I’ve lived in tolerant areas?
      • Am I Just too obtuse?
      • are they that illogical that women in the wrong restroom are not objected to but trans men are “for being a woman in the wrong restroom”
      • andros_rex@lemmy.world
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        7 个月前

        The transness is the big key. They are okay with women in men’s restrooms as long as they are women, but a trans man attempting to use a men’s restroom is a boundary violation - because it’s part of that man’s statement that he is trans.

        It’s a deep insecurity - they live in worlds that are set in stone, and recognizing that human variation is infinitely more complicated than the boxes we try to shove people in is terrifying.

  • bluegreenwookie@bookwormstory.social
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    7 个月前

    Terf ideology more or less boils down to

    Transwomen are predatorial men

    Trans men are foolish women who were tricked

    They probably don’t believe in enbies.

    • Secret Music@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      7 个月前

      Trans men are foolish women who were tricked

      A couple of months ago I was trying something with a second account on Facebook. Gave myself a gender neutral name, used a profile picture where it’s hard to tell, and set the non-binary flag as my banner.

      Ended up in an argument with a TERF at one point. She was so convinced that I was a biological woman falling prey to “trans ideology” that she even showed up on my profile the next day, commenting on something and trying to convince me to change the path that I’m on. And just because it’s relevant to this story, I feel like I should mention that I was shipped with male factory parts.

      So yeah, I experienced that first hand with a TERF who can “always tell”, who was convinced that I was one of these foolish women being tricked.

      It was pretty affirming at first but as time went on it felt less like a win and made me feel awful and deceptive. Because I didn’t once mention anything about my sex but didn’t correct her either and just let her keep making assumptions. Deleted that account not long after that.

  • PunkRockSportsFan@fanaticus.social
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    7 个月前

    I’m a dude and have used the women’s room a lot of times.

    Sometimes you gotta shit and dudes rooms don’t always have seats.

    I dare you to live on the road with a punk rock band and only use one genders bathroom for the whole tour.

    You’ll shit your pants.

  • steeznson@lemmy.world
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    7 个月前

    Their logic is that women are a historically oppressed group and that certain rights are a zero-sum game. They would say someone who has been born a man has forfeited male privilege and therefore don’t have a right to anything which “belongs” to women.

    If our discourse wasn’t so polarised people wouldn’t become entrenched like that but social media has made ration/empathetic discussion impossible.

    • Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works
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      7 个月前

      Trans people are also a historically oppressed and marginalized group, so much so that history has hidden a lot of them. That oppression has also been rooted in misogyny. So any attempt to uproot misogyny which ignores this fact is doomed to fail.

  • magnetosphere@fedia.io
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    7 个月前

    I think one thing that most people can agree on is that they prefer walking into an empty public restroom. Nobody few of us like using the facilities while under observation.

    • AA5B@lemmy.world
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      7 个月前

      I’d be more than happy if we steered the argument in that direction. Little bit of privacy would be appreciated by us all and this problem goes away if all the restrooms are private and non-gendered

  • owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca
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    7 个月前

    No. They should be considering this, given that plenty of trans men look like large and intimidating men (because they are), and they’ll be forced to use womens’ restrooms if the TERFs had their way.

    Ultimately, the restroom issue is only superficial. TERFs (and other bigots) will pick issues like this, but they don’t actually care about the issues they’re yelling about. What they really care about is keeping their privilege and their sense of superiority. And that requires having a “them” group to put down and exclude, to clutch their pearls around.

    So when you see irrational takes like the restroom thing, remember that it’s irrational because it’s not actually important to them (though they themselves likely don’t realize that).

    • BlemboTheThird@lemmy.ca
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      7 个月前

      They also care about ruining trans people’s lives in any way possible. I’m sure there are plenty of transphobes who simply haven’t thought the bathroom thing through, but don’t forget the other reason they’d be happy to put passing trans men in women’s bathrooms: it forces them into an impossible decision. When an angry mob drags a trans man out of the women’s toilet, you think they’re going to listen to protestations of being AFAB? If anything, that’d just rile them up further. So a when someone is faced with the decision of choosing either the room they’re least likely to be noticed in, or the one the law technically assigned to them, they may instead choose to stay home. They may even start considering detransitioning. This is a feature, not a bug.

      • owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca
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        7 个月前

        Yeah, that’s the “put down and exclude” part. The thing is, though, is that the transphobes don’t believe it’s because they want to ruin trans folks’ lives. In fact, they believe they’re doing the Right Thing™. Pressuring people to stay closeted is something they’re definitely attempting to do, but they genuinely believe it’s for everyone’s benefit, even the trans folks (again, this is irrational). They don’t take pleasure from the pain and discomfort they cause (at least not consciously), they take pleasure from feeling righteous.

        • Jessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          7 个月前

          Idk, there seem to be plenty of bigots that take pride in hurting us. The cruelty is the point for them. Some of them genuinely believe we are groomers and pedos. And I swear to science that if anyone ever calls me one of those IRL, they will get punched in the face. I may end up getting the shit kicked out of me or worse, but that is something I’d wear on my shoulder proudly.