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The comments here make me very disappointed in our little corner of the internet. If anyone wants this but doesn’t know how, neither do I but I’d be happy help.
I am disappointed but not surprised. The attitude of men here reminds me a lot of default subs in Reddit. People tend to be more civil, but there is so much “but what about men?” when talking about women’s issues or belittling women still. Business as usual on the Internet, but I can see why it would cause women to avoid Lemmy.
I haven’t been back to Reddit, but it makes me miss the small niches where I didn’t see that as often.
I’ve said it many times before and I’ll say it again, gender relations here are worse than they were on reddit when I stopped using it.
It’s a more niche “back room” kind of forum, so there are less casual browsers and more technerds here, which makes it predominantly male for a lot of reasons that require a whole other discussion to analyse, but it’s exactly like when reddit was a niche “back room” website gaining popularity.
Lets not forget when reddit started, it was absolute chaos, some of the very worst communities imaginable where at home there, and the userbase RAGED every time some pedo or hate sub got purged. But they did get purged, and it became welcoming for a more diverse group of users to participate in. (Until the bot nation attacked)
I mean there’s like 3 women on lemmy, and 2 of em are trans. I don’t think there really ARE any gender relations here.
I think you’re underestimating how many women use the internet. They just don’t go swing that around much because of the harassment it tends to attract.
lemmy =/= the internet
Ignorant
i wonder if it’s not just worse on lemmy, but gotten worse over time, with the manosphere shit and all it’s relevant problems, neither feminism nor the manosphere, or traditional male gender role has really addressed this issue comprehensively, and we’re starting to see pushback from this issue in real life now, men are enrolling into college less than women, they do worse in most environments, and also are generally worse when it comes to mental health.
I wonder if we just need like a dedicated “social issues space” where people can talk about this stuff.
womans only spaces (popping up because of male dominated spaces) do lead to male only spaces but who cares, ppl that want to be in those spaces can stay there idrc, they dont want my input I dont want theirs
Yeah, it’s natural to have spaces that aren’t for me. It’s fine. I really just have an issue with spaces where I am supposedly welcome to be hostile towards me.
There’s [email protected]
Call it out when you see it. Keep the bar nazi free.
This seems like a very good niche for someone willing to do it. Problematic accounts could get a site-wide ban instead of each woman having to ban someone herself.
Niche? Bruh, they’re half of the population lmao
It’s not niche being a woman obviously. What’s niche is having a community exclude 50% of the population. Nothing wrong with it, but it is niche.
we all know there’s currently only 1 chick in the fediverse
There WAS 1 chick in the fediverse.
The situation took a dark turn recently.
P in that case Nicole’s DMs are the Lemmy women’s sub.
Unfortunately it is niche right now in the fediverse based on the stats. That could change but probably requires a different approach to achieve.
Nicole is on a mission to single-handedly skew those stats
I don’t know of any “men only” instances, the fact that it’s gender-specific is niche rather than the specific gender.
Same reason womens magazines are more popular than mens magazines and womens subreddits and websites are more popular than mens.
Maybe one day we’ll have full equality and it’ll be weird to think of “women’s spaces” as something that’s necessary. But it’s very much so today.
I don’t believe they actively intended to exclude anyone, but there is/was Dull Men’s Club, and I believe they’ve recently rebranded to “Dullsters”.
I would guess that most women wouldn’t feel the need to be on a woman-focused Lemmy instance for their main / only account. But, some might want an alt account to discuss certain things there.
While this won’t be the case with everyone, it was mentioned a few times in a post I made here a long while back
I’m a woman, and make no attempt to hide that fact in my posts. That said, I also don’t personally have much interest in talking about being a woman, so don’t sub to any of those places you linked.
Over on Reddit I just sort of let people assume I was male a lot of the time, since it wasn’t really relevant to what we were talking about. But from the start on Lemmy I’ve made sure to call out incorrect assumptions, downvote and give a talking to people stereotyping or being misogynistic, etc etc. And the more of us (of all genders) that make that same decision, the better things get
That’s pretty brave of you. It’s a lot of work to fight people’s assumptions, and I’m sure it results in harassment.
But, you’re right that things will never change if women don’t do that. It’s a chicken and egg thing. Nobody wants to be the first to do it, because whoever’s first gets harassed the most. But, if enough people do it, it won’t be abnormal anymore.
Good luck, and thanks for trying to make women on the internet more normal.
Zero women have tried to make one so far regardless of how many would use a new instance. So it can’t be all that in demand.
I think it naturally would occur if Lemmy grows in size. There’s not many people here to begin with.
There’s [email protected] we started a little over a month ago and recently hit 1000 members
Lemmy needs block lists users can subscribe to like they can on BlueSky, it would make a huge difference imo.
this is a bit of how Blahaj works as I understand it, so it’s a good model - if anything I would think Blahaj might already be poised for this kind of instance-level protection of women
Define “women”
People who tell you they’re women.
People who cover their drinks when you’re around.
Everyone is a woman on this blessed day!
Speak for yourself.
I am one with everything, so by speaking about myself, I speak about the whole of reality. Checkmate!
You don’t know what a woman is? Or is this some kind of attempt at trolling?
I’m asking if the Reddit user is looking for cis women or is open to trans. A lot of lemmy could be considered women run if trans women are included in the request.
I think maybe it would have been clearer to just ask this question directly and openly. The way you phrased it is the way a lot of bigots do to try to start trouble.
No one would understand this is what you intended if you use a transphobic dogwhistle for that.
beehaw.org aspire to be nice, friendly diverse and safe. But they’re more towards nice, not women. And we have lemmy.blahaj.zone for queer folks. To my knowledge, there isn’t a place aimed towards women. Maybe heehaw is the closest… Still not really a fit.
Beehaw.org is nice, Heehaw.org is the closest, Hoohaw.org is the promised land
I was thinking of making one, but I’m not a woman, so I’ll think of something else
Community-wise there’s [email protected]
unfortunately I think this is the current answer, at least on Lemmy.
unfortunately?
Meaning there isn’t an instance for women, nor are there multiple communities - as far as I know there’s just this one community.
I think there’s also We are women on lemmy.ml and Women on lemmy.world?
sorry, I should have clarified that I was talking about active communities (where users regularly visit and interact)
oh, I see.
how would they stop men from participating?
Blahaj.zone is an instance aimed at queer people, but it doesn’t have to prevent non-queer people from participating. I would imagine an instance aimed at women to be similar.
I don’t see a reason to deny men from participating.
There is no resonable way to do that.
The only way I could see it being done while perserving some kind of anonymity would be to have a defederated instance, where members are invite-only, where members can invite their friends to join, there by verifying that there are no men joining.
Unfortunately, there is no good way of verifying the gender of a person that you don’t meet outside of a forum.
I’ve mentioned this before in other threads that seek a women-centric Lemmy option, but there was at least one secret community on Reddit like that. Invitees’ post histories were vetted before an invite was sent, both to find women specifically, but also to prevent trolls.
I don’t know exactly how they did it, all I know is that I got an invite one day and found the most open, comforting community I’d ever seen online. It was a place where we could talk about anything from silly stories that made us smile, to complaining about specific issues with bras, all without fear of trolls hijacking the thread, or turning an ordinary thing for us into something sexual.
I miss it.
Why should they want to do that? That’s not how most sites for women work!
Just make it obvious that it’s meant for women and most men will exclude themselves
On a public forum?
Lol you wish
But like what even is a social media for women? I wasn’t aware the ones we currently have were for men
Its all technically ran by trans women which is mildly interesting, like the mods of 2x and the others on reddit and here I think
on reddit every female sub is ran by the same woman
reddit has /r/TwoXChromosomes which is one of my favorite subs. It’s a general womens subreddit, and though it obviously leans feminist it’s not its main purpose. It welcomes all genders, but remains a womens space.
The fediverse could really use that energy.
There’s also /r/WitchesVsPatriarchy which is also very strictly woman-centered.
Damn women appropriating witchdom. Excluding boywitches just reaffirms the patriarchy’s gendering of magic. It’s re-inventing the same gender roles.
I’m sorry, what?
It’s women-centered because it’s “against patriarchy”… not because it’s witchy. And they are trans & queer inclusive as well.
I think it would be even more against patriarchy if it was enby centered. They should change that.
You need to stay away from feminism and enby activism entirely until you’ve humbled yourself and seriously sat with how problematic this take is.
You’re not helping anybody with that. Least of all enbies/trans people. And not just because it makes us look bad either, though that’s certainly part of it.
I don’t know how problematic this take is, and since you can’t explain how it is, I’m convinced you don’t either. You’re just having an emotional reaction to deviation from the gender binary’s norms, which construct womanhood as the opposite of manhood.
Don’t worry you have nothing to get from people identifying as “witches”
Narrow minded nonsense.
Neither the WvP subreddit nor the Discord excludes men from identifying as witches or from participating in discussions.
Then what does women-centered mean in practice? Is it just a nothing label?
Woman-centered is not an absolute. One does not have to be part of a single characteristic of a group to have a stake in it, to be an ally, an advocate, a partner, a family member, among countless other scenarios.
I would suggest reading up on intersectionality.
By the way, all of this is covered in the subreddit sidebar, including in an FAQ in the wiki.
Yeah but thats a subreddit not REDDIT itself, you can similarly start a /c/TwoX on just about any Lemmy instance.
While I do agree with what you’re saying, I actually think a “by women for women” instance has a slightly different impact than a “by women for women” community. There are definitely pros and cons for both, though
I wondered if they made the jump over here. Guess not, sadly. Reading that sub has made me a better man, because it offers some pretty harsh critiques of male behavior.
We used to have an equivalent on our instance, but it was constantly flooded with reply-bros and trans people complaining about the name, so we archived it as no women was willing to moderate it (for understandable reasons).
Lemmy supports local-only private communities now, might be a good use case for that
Nah, let the transphobic name die
As a trans person please stop. You’re not helping & are being underhandedly misogynistic.
I find this idea pretty cool, i hope they will succeed to achieve that. Imo, we lack diversity on the forum6erse except maybe mastodon.
It would provide an additional layer, another governance, they could also benefit a lot from local community and can check vote…Other have already mentionned good example with blahaj, beehaw.
On the other hand, it will render the instance more visible.
Depends. You looking for a woman’s apace…or a terf space?
I definitely think it should be an inclusive, not exclusive space
blahaj.zone is a great one I’ve found. Extremely inclusive, brooks absolutely no bullshit from bad faith actors.
Is also very very queer tho JSYK
Is also very very queer tho JSYK
That could be our new Lemmy slogan.
Except the Drag person, obvious troll they keep around.
Don’t call them a troll or Ada will ban you like she did me and half of 196
Good
Dragonfucker isn’t a gender, you enabling trolls makes LGBTQ spaces worse for people with real gender identities that experience real discrimination in the real world.
I bet you feel good when the people you hate get silenced though, like a drug addict chasing dopamine.
You don’t get to decide what is and what isn’t a real identity :) if that makes you mad, the ban was justified just for that,
People are fucking weird about drag.
Honestly there are far more worthy things to get pissed about this day and age, open a window
I just blocked them and moved on. It’s just insane it took so long for the admins to finally ban them.
I don’t think we can equate “queer space” with “women’s space”.
I didn’t.
Well I would definitely put blahaj down as a queer-focused space rather than a women-focused space. It’s inclusive, women are welcome, but the community there is very much about queer issues.
Key word: you.
k.
Either can describe a bar that throws out Nazis or a Nazi bar, depending on perspective.
now you’re just being dickish.
Nah I’m demanding clarity. A clear question “Do you mean excluding TERFs or excluding women” and the answer is “I want to be inclusive”. It may not be meant as such, and I’m definitely not implying that it was, but that’s exactly how a TERF would evade questioning.
A clear “Fuck TERFs” would have provided plenty of clarity, and been much shorter. Also, it would have said “Fuck TERFs”.
Idk man “exclusionary” is literally part of terf I don’t think there’s much ambiguity there. Fuck terfs though.
This is transmisogynistic and misogynoir as well as plain old misogyny. Don’t ask me to explain. Just don’t do it.
They’re also complaining about “women being excluded from women’s spaces by agents of the patriarchy posing as women”. They’re also not necessarily using “TERF” as a label. They’re using typical fascist-style “words mean whatever we want them to mean in the moment” type of stuff, hiding clear-cut positions behind pretend nuance, hence why I favour clarity.
I regret my part in this recto-cranial inversion of a conversation
lemmy.blahaj.zone has a decent amount of women and both their admins are women, it’s not a “women’s space” as one would describe since everyone is welcome there but it’s probably the closest thing one would describe as an instance “by women for women”. I am obligated to mention that it is a queer instance and that many of the women there are either trans themselves or strongly supportive of trans people, and do not tolerate transphobia or anti-LGBT sentiment (including refusal to support LGBTQ people) at all.
Good.
As much as I appreciate the community and users at Blahaj, in my personal experience, the moderation was fairly wanting. At least a year or two ago (not sure about now), they tolerated some pretty freakish right-wing people who enabled chasers and other weird shit on their communities.
They certainly do not seem very tolerant of that now, they very commonly ban people for thinly veiled homophobia and transphobia that would normally slide on other sites. They do not even seem mildly willing to tolerate the intolerant.
deleted by creator
Everyone Except Fascists and/or Tankies
I think that kind of goes without saying.
I wish
spinster exists but I think its the opposite where its antitrans
We all pretend that it didn’t exist and do not acknowledge its presence; that’s the informal rule.
Like Finland if it were real.
I thought that was mastodon. Do they have a lemmy instance as well?
Yeah Spinster is generally considered a hate site, and consequently is very widely defederated, even from general purpose instances like lemmy.world. Also it’s less of a Reddit alternative and more of a Twitter alternative but is technically redundant since you can do everything you did on there on the real thing instead.
The admin behind it is also a man so its for (some) women by a man. Literally the opposite.
Why you want to create division?
TW: crude and insensitive joke (hopefully the spoiler tag works lol)
ETA: lemme know if you need this taken down. Sometimes the intrusive thoughts win
!It’s funny, blahaj.zone is full of pussies, and .ml is full of cunts, and yet there’s no dedicated space for women!<
spoiler tag didnt appear to work, but this indeed is very stupid and funny.
NGL I almost deleted it this morning, glad it made you giggle
its kinda sad how one of the biggest women’s community on the lemmy/mbin side of fedi is [email protected]…
i mean, it’s a great community, but yea.
There seems to be a majority of males even in that community though
every femcel community gets invaded by guys at some point. see: r/letgirlshavefun and r/femcelgrippysockjail. theres one that went private and thats keeping out the men really well (and is the only community im still on reddit for)
Well maybe if girls weren’t weird and trying to make shaving fun they wou
I don’t know how to finish this joke I’m tired. Finish it for me i give quest xp
Idk the majority of posters there are transfems afaik, with a smattering of femboys posting as well.
Are you talking about browsers/commentors? Cause almost all the prolific posters are women, unless you’re being transphobic
I don’t know any of them and would not even recognize their usernames. Just be real, there can’t be that many women, it’s just not consistent with Lemmy’s userbase. To me that sub draws more attention from men who view it as a fantasy. Read the comments and the posts, many of them don’t seem legitimate
i can assure you that the majority of regular posters on femcelmemes are in fact women, and many of the regular commenters as well. this is in part because of the wonderful dedicated group of posters who keep the vibe immaculate, and if it werent for femcelmemes, myself, and many other women would be much less active on lemmy.
Erotador, totallynotjessica, kewwwi, and squirrel are by far the people who post most there and they’re all women.
My yin, I’m the one with the blahaj zone account here
Hahaha the name doesn’t do it justice tbh, *cel has connotations that femcelmemes really just doesn’t have
Create one!
