hendrik

I guess we all have a vision for Lemmy anyways. I think two things I’d like to see more often are body text underneath posts (as I said, this isn’t Mastodon) and unconditional upvoting of replies if you get one. That shows the other side that you’ve read it and appreciate they typed something for you. At some point I think I’m going to write a post about nice behaviour here. I have to think about it some more… And this is a diverse place anyways, other people might like different things.

Yeah, and fostering engagement is difficult. Always has been. I don’t think artificial linkdumping helps… It could as well kill engagement if it’s not honest and genuine. But having inactive communities also doesn’t get us anywhere. It’s difficult to do it right.

My thoughts: Please don’t make Lemmy a linkdump. Only post that in the news communities or if you’re genuinely interested in a discussion. And then add some text of your own, what you’d like to discuss about that, what you find interesting about it or a short summary for people to decide whether they want to click on the link.

I see a lot of news just dumped to Lemmy with 0 interaction or engagement. And it’s often duplicated because I already have a feedreader. I think that’s more a use-case for Mastodon.

Correct. What it appears to be and what it is, are often two very different things. And people often underestimate situations like desaster recovery… Everything is fine and dandy on the day you configure the backup job. But once you need it, that day is a desaster and everything has gone wrong. Now you need your plan to work flawlessly. And there are a lot of things that can go wrong, I’ve only highlighted a few of them. And lots of people have been burned by that before. There is only one way to make sure it works, and that is to test the whole procedure. And ideally not just once right after you configured it because things can go wrong later on, too.

Whether she’s right or not, you’re definitely making an error here. Let me explain:

No, the first one is definitely not gaslighting. Gaslighting is making you question (perceived) reality. Like you explained further down. And in this case she might as well be insecure, or afraid of you (because of her past possibly, it doesn’t necessarily have to do with you, she could very well have past trauma from other people and fall back into that kind of thinking. Being bullied before… etc.) And something hypothetical and a subjective emotion isn’t reality, so the term doesn’t apply to this.

And I’m also not sure about the next example… If you’re getting into an argument… “Humoring her” and pushing her into a corner (argumentatively)… That’s not super healthy and straightforward. People do all kinds of things when pushed. They’ll argue and sometimes use fallacies and invalid arguments. But that’s more because you’re pushing and teasing her. Not necessarily malice or a manipulation technique. She might as well not see other responses. Judge her under normal circumstances. In everyday life, not just in the bad situations.

It feels like there also are some unhealthy vibes coming from you. You’re not really listening but set on the fact that it’s gaslighting. So you’re the opposite of open and approachable concerning what’s the ‘real’ reality. And already that isn’t a good foundation for a healthy relationship.

Obviously she’s insecure about something. Have you tried talking about that? And why she feels that way? Or are you just attributing everything to malice?

And most importantly: You have to draw a distinct line between facts and emotion. If you’re violent or what you did yesterday is a fact. That’s objective and can be either true or wrong. An emotion however, isn’t a fact. It can’t be wrong per definition. And everyone is entitled to feel things. They’re automatically correct. I can feel threatened, sad, thirsty… All kinds of things despite a situation calling for the opposite feeling. That’s how the human mind works. And sometimes feelings are counterfactual. You absolutely have to allow people to feel things.

And you have to address them. If you go ahead and say: “No, you can’t feel that way…” Now you’re the one gaslighting her. Because if she isn’t lying and really feels insecure or threatened… And you’re now invalidating her feelings and say she can’t feel that way. I’m sorry, that is gaslighting from your side! She clearly feeling something and you’re saying it can’t be true… That’s gaslighting.

The correct approach is to talk to each other. But in a healthy way. Validate her. Say you respect her and accept that she’s a human and feels things. Ask her why she feels that way because you’re pretty sure you’re not violent at all. And then for god’s sake, don’t push her into a corner and squeeze information out of her. Just listen…

So… I’m not saying she is or is not gaslighting. I’m not sure because all I know is your side. But it really feels like you’re contributing to making things worse. I also don’t attribute malice to you, you also have your past and maybe your feelings are valid because you’ve been gaslighted before and are (undestabdably) sensitive for that whole topic. And all you can do is choose how to react to that. I’d say you got to find a way to respect each others feelings, or the relationship is bound to fail.

Go to the connection settings and copy the “Port used for incoming connections”. Paste it into a service like: https://www.yougetsignal.com/tools/open-ports/

If your port isn’t “open”, that’s your issue. You need to configure port-forwarding in your router or VPN client.

Nice.

Cameras definitely need some more bandwidth. And their presence has a bigger impact on your privacy than the lightswitch. So you might as well do it right… I agree.

Me and by brother-in-law also each bought one of the 4 packs of cheap smart plugs with power metering. He had 2 fail after some years. But I guess he was just a bit unlucky. In our experience they’re pretty reliable overall. And the 2 failed safe(ly). They just stopped switching and didn’t burn down. I’m not 100% convinced, I use a more expensive brand one to make my washing machine smart since it draws a lot of power. But I use the cheap ones for everything else.

I -myself- am a bit reluctant towards cameras and smart speakers that listen in to arbitrary things. But that’s just personal preference.

I’d say yes for home use that’s perfectly fine.

Lots of people here teach you the 3-2-1 rule. Which is how it’s supposed to be and stick to that if you’re a business or have valuable data… But that’s also not the whole picture.

I think more important than the actual number of backups is to make sure they work. I’ve seen computers where the backup or cloud sync failed and no one noticed. And after the harddisk got damaged they got aware of the fact that the last successful backup ran 9 months ago… Or people started to save things in a different directory and that drive wasn’t part of the backup. Or the backup was encrypted and the key got lost together with the original data.

I personally am a bit cheap on the third backup. I replace that with an old external drive and copy my vacation pictures there every half a year or so. Just don’t store that next to the computer so everything burns down together. I’d say that’s more than enough. And your cloud backup already does 99% of the job. It’s at a (physically) different location and does all the really important tasks (for home use.)

Looks like a Swedish harlequin to me.

The axis don’t make sense.

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Authentik, Authelia, Keycloak, KaniDM come to mind.

That’d be identity providers / authentication servers or SSO solutions. But with most (/all?) of them, you’d have to program the payment logic yourself.

I think there are webshops, platforms to sell online courses and ERP or eCommerce software that can do both payment and authentication. I’m not a expert on that.

I think most solutions are either custom solutions that have been programmed by the people themselves (at least to some degree) or some of the big, commercial (and proprietary) platforms to sell online courses and memberships.

But don’t search for “userbase […]” that’s a term I’ve never heard of. Search for “membership”, “identity management”, “single sign-on”, “eCommerce” and “Stripe” (because it’s one of the largest payment providers. And I’d have a look at the eCommerce world. Usually it’s difficult to find something good. Most of them want a share of your revenue and aren’t entirely open source. Maybe something to sell online courses with, is more likely to have the things you need.

That’s a bit more elaborate then ‘usual’. But not unheard of. I spoke to some people here on Lemmy who have put their cheap IoT devices on a separate Wifi. And guest networks are fairly common. IMHO those should be easier to set up on OpenWRT.

Regarding the cheap ‘chinesium’ smart devices: I hope you’re aware of projects like Tasmota, ESPHome and OpenBeken… I’m not that much into making everything smart, but I also have some smart sockets, LED strips and stuff. I had some luck with the first devices I bought and after that I payed attention to just buy things where I could replace the firmware. So for me they all communicate with my own MQTT broker and Home Assistant directly, and there isn’t any firmware on them any more that’d talk to the china cloud.

It’s not that easy though. Some require opening and flashing via an USB to serial adapter. And lots of devices aren’t supported by aftermarket firmwares at all. Especially the more elaborate ones.

Whatever floats your boat. If you don’t need it, you don’t need it. I have some services exposed to the outside on the standard port and I need a reverse proxy to make that possible. It also does the https with letsencrypt certificates. It’s a bit more comfortable managing them all in the reverse proxy. But I also have some webinterfaces of other less important software that is fine running on some IP on port 5102 and I don’t worry configuring something to change that. I don’t think there is a “should” unless you need to encrypt the traffic or expose that service to somewhere. And it’s also not wrong to do it.

To add a bit: With VLANs you can have several ‘virtual’ cables inside of a real (physical) cable. You probably don’t need it in a home setup, I’m not sure. It’s for use cases like you just have one ethernet port or one cable running through the wall, but you need two (or more) entirely separate networks on the other side. Like the telephone network or the seperate server network along with the normal network, all over one cable. It works by tagging all the network packets. In the end it’s just a number that gets attached to the packets and the other side knows how to handle the packets with those additional numbers attached to them. And it can send them out through different ports again.

At home, most people just have one network, so that kind of functionality isn’t needed. Some people put their TV set, NAS or the smart home devices or their home office and/or guests in different networks so the devices can’t mess with each other. A VLAN might be handy for those kind of things. And OpenWRT has VLANs, too, since there are two separate networks attached (as with every router). In this case the WAN side, going to your ISP, and your LAN. If you have a router with like 5 ports on the back, you can map those to either port if you change the VLAN settings. The labeling (WAN/LAN) from the manufacturer is just the default with OpenWRT.

😆

(I wasn’t really sure if I was going to be upvoted for that answer… Really, though. The whole culture and philosophy also influenced me. And gave me a lot over the years.)

Uh, that really depends on the use-case.

I like to follow the recommendations of the German PC magazine c’t: https://www.heise.de/ratgeber/Bauvorschlag-fuer-einen-sparsamen-Heimserver-aus-c-t-3-2024-9587594.html

Other than that: An Intel NUC, one of those cheap chinese Mini-PCs from Amazon where you get 16GB of RAM, a fairly recent processor generation and 512GB SSD for like $250 or my advice: get a refurbished laptop for $250. That’s energy efficient by design and has everything on board. And available in abundance.

Downsides of these approaches: You don’t get a lot of SATA ports for harddisks, if at all… So for storage, I wouldn’t consider those. So it’s gonna be an old PC, Server or NAS. Comparing mainboards and energy efficiency isn’t easy. That’s why I rely on PC magazines. But that’s for new stuff… Not used components. So tipps from the internet are probably your best bet.

If you’re not from a country where electricity is that expensive, you might want to have a look at some of those refurbished PC shops. An server or a Dell Workstation from 5 years ago should be affordable.

Linux.

Außerdem: Bei der Zahl sind sicherlich noch viele Leute mitgezählt, die schon längst umgezogen sind, aber sich noch ab und zu in ihren alten Account einloggen, dort aufräumen und alte Kommentare beantworten / im Auge behalten.

(Und es ist ja jetzt auch noch nicht so viele Wochen her… Sondern eher einige Tage seit dem die Ankündigungen groß überall sind. Gib den Leuten mal mehr als 4 Tage Zeit… und es wird schon…)

On the flipside, I think the Internet Archive should stick to archiving stuff. “Lending out” books without asking for permission and without owning the copyright, isn’t the best move. And I don’t think it’s aligned well to the core concept of the Internet Archive.

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