Make it a good one.
Stop Hitler’s parents from getting together in the first place.
Re-read the question
We just found Elon’s account here
Go back to before life formed on earth, and shit in the ocean.
This was my first thought, too 😂
Who pissed in your gene pool? ^it <sup>was</sup> <sup><sup>me</sup></sup>^
“Hey look! It’s the first fish to walk on land”
*stomps
“You saw it, it was coming right at us”
You would immediately die in agony. No oxygen and a lot more CO2 in the atmosphere
And upon said death he would immediately shit himself. Mission accomplished!
And release an incredible cocktail of gut and other bacteria on the world to entirely change the course of history.
Also a climate so scorching hot we won’t ever see anything like it again before 2030.
It’s possible someone did, and that’s where we all come from
it would explain a lot
Wait until I’m about to die, then go back to when the first land-dwelling animals first started coming ashore. I’d bring a bunch of cockroaches with me and then I’d die there. Either the roaches or my decaying corpse will hopefully cause enough change to the timeline that humanity never develops in the first place.
I think that’s the most I could screw over the (human) world.
Go back in time and do something to prevent Vasily Aleksandrovich Arkhipov from becoming the Executive Officer on the B-59 Soviet nuclear sub in October 1962. He’s the guy who talked the Captain and the Political Officer out of launching the nukes when they thought they were being attacked by the US Navy during the Cuban Missile Crisis. His persuasiveness is generally considered to have avoided WWIII from starting then.
He probably literally saved the world, he should really be talked about more
The scary part is, he’s not the only one
You could also flip the switch that was literally the only thing keeping the nuke from exploding over North Carolina in the Goldsboro incident.
Nuke going off over US soil at the height of the cold war could very well have started everyone firing.
Hmm I don’t know. Probably go back to Germany 1940 and give them all the information needed to develop nuclear weapons first. You just know that Hitler would’ve pushed the red button a hundred times over if he had the chance.
The TV serie “The Man in the High Castle” interestingly explores how would be the world if the nazis would have won the war.
You’re going to pretend we’re not on that timeline right now? I see your play, time traveller.
He did it.
The crazy son of a bitch did it.
The thing here is that I have zero desire to screw people over.
Come on, little roleplay here
I hate the ‘hate’ part (pardon the pun) of the question.
I’d rather go back in time and get Jesus and bring him back here so that he can go all ‘temple money changers’ on today’s MAGA Christians asses, give them a proper yelling to.
You think they’d listen to a random brown dude who couldn’t speak English?
If there’s a jesus with powers in the first place, he could do the holy spirit thing that happened after his death where the apostles proselytized by speaking in languages they (previously) couldn’t to people who couldn’t understand the native tongue.
Something tells me that if Jesus was ‘Jesussy’ enough, that they’d listen to him, regardless of skin color.
Jesus-y? Or Jesussy? Those seem different.
😏
Yeah, no way the majority of Christians would instead opt to form schismatic sects, or simply adopt church doctrine decrying the false prophet of Brown Jesus.
I genuinely doubt it. And if he was proven to be truly Jesus and kept saying that thing US Christians would either say “He doesn’t understand the modern world” or reject him for some other contrived reason (i.e. he was corrupted by modernity, the machine caused him to lose his connection to God, etc…)
Christians are full of hate because they love hate.
I’m sure he’d be deported and ignored if not put into an asylum.
Nah, when he uses his Jesussy powers he’d stare them down quick like, and they’d beg for forgiveness.
All hail…the Jesussy
I want to watch this series.
Jesus the time traveler tells off assholes.
I want to watch this series.
Jesus the time traveler tells off assholes.
I’m not religious by nature, but yeah, definitely would sub for that series, for sure.
The comedy series “Black Jesus” has some of that vibe, if I recall.
And yeah, it’s great.
Go back to 2011ish and unleash WanaCry on a world that is not ready for for a global crypto locker.
Jeez. Wow. Just wow. Lol.
I read about a study that said Homo sapiens may have been down to as few as 40 breeding pairs at one point.
I’ve got way more ammo than that in my closet.
By eradicating one species, you’re probably going to save the entire planet. I guess in 500 million years the descendants of modern crows could become the new dominant species and they’ll end up nuking the planet sooner or later. You win some, you loose some.
Land octopus ftw
Squid. They’re much more social than octopodes. I for one welcome our new TEN tentacled overlords. Everyone knows ten tentacles is better than eight.
I’m heading far into the future - say 1000 years or perhaps 100 if communication would be an issue. I’m going to grab all sorts of portable devices and tools to take back with me, and I will maintain the remainder of my life without sharing my goodies. The world is screwed because they get no fruits of my intense labor, but that is fine since I hate them anyway. For that afternoon of work, I get to live a great life while everyone else must suffer in modernity.
At current pace, I wonder what you could do with a spear and a club from the future
Procrastinate, the world is going down the drain just fine without my help.
Get COVID, go back to the neander valley and cough.
Based, you might prevent the entire covid pandemic!
Kill all the chickens before humans had the chance to domesticate them
The biggest killer for indigenous people is said to be infections - bacteria and viruses. Collect some in this time - maybe a cold - and go back and presence will be enough.
It depends on how you interpret “screw over the world”, but I guess “you hate everyone” implies humans. If you go back to the first humans from Africa, before spreading out, that may have the biggest impact - significant delay or suppression in development and spread, or eradication.
Go back 1000 years before Europe makes contact with the Americas. Infect everyone and let their populations get wiped out, but give time to recover so first contact with Europe doesn’t go as poorly. Also give them horses much earlier.
