So I’m European and am aware that American culture is very different in many ways. Idk if this is just some type of thing about American culture and mentality in general that has always been there or if it is a trend that started recently in the past few years.
I don’t wanna generalize any country and know that not everyone is like this but I definitely noticed this type of pattern.
I increasingly noticed in the past years that many Americans are very hateful/cruel, are lacking empathy, become more and more aggressive and it seems like it’s becoming worse.
I’m not sure if this is maybe related to Americans needing to be “though” or something because I always hear about that the American mentality is pretty competitive and individualistic and instead of saying “we will go through this this together” they often have this mentality “it’s either me or you but it can’t be both who will win”. I mean I’m pretty sure that all these things like this biking culture, driving big “manly” pick up trucks, wrestling, football etc. are pretty prevalent in America compared to other countries and American culture generally seems very loud and direct. I think here in Europe people are way more reserved and I guess the strongest opposite to Americans are probably Japanese people. Maybe American culture is generally more “rough” where they aren’t super sensitive and don’t really care how their words come over and just speak their mind (maybe cause they value free speech so much).
But to me this seems to go to the point where many Americans seem to have this attitude and are very ignorant and arrogant and basically think they’re better than anyone else and they only care for themselves.
And it feels like it’s so extreme to the point where everyone is hating, attacking and bashing on everyone and instead of being stronger united they’re just fighting against themselves and putting each other down and they always focus on the negative.
Especially online it seems like that no matter what the topic is and independent from whether they are Democrat or Republican they’re constantly bashing on someone and baselessly calling them “weak” even though in reality they’re probably the ones who are weak and trample onto people cause they’re obviously dissatisfied with themselves and aren’t able to man-up to face the real issues. You just can’t blame everything on others and have to take responsibility for yourself!
Some stuff that I’ve seen on American news like “Fox News” just seemed crazy where the reporters personally attack and bash on people which is something that would be unthinkable in Europe.
Even though many people were saying that Americans have this “fake friendliness” I’m thinking that even that disappeared in the last few years and they’re becoming more open to show what they really think which seems to be that they “don’t give a f* about you”.
Many Americans that I encountered seem so aggressive like they always need to bash onto something in this toxic way even though they’re actually in a very good position and have a lot to be grateful for. Like in other poor countries people have real problems and are literally starving because they have no food or they have war in their country.
I’m always thinking “dude, you need to chill” cause literally no one is attacking them and they’re fully secure. But it seems like they’re always searching for a fight or something.
It seems like many of these people are so disconnected from nature and become less human and I wonder why they can’t just spend meaningful time with other people being positive and not constantly waste their time with hating or complaining about something. Because this just doesn’t work and in a society with multiple people especially in a world where everything is more connected than ever we need to hold together and have empathy for one and another. That is one of the core morals that a human needs!
It seems like many Americans generally have this “cruelness” about them cause I also heard things that many Americans are physically beating their children and even the fact that guns are popular and legal in America to the point where you can’t even safely walk alone in public during the night or safely send your kid to school and also this general mindset of America is doing everything the best and “America first”. I really don’t wanna bash on Americans at all and only want to share my experience because I just haven’t experienced this type of hate here in Europe in that extreme way and it just makes me very uncomfortable because I feel like this mood is affecting the whole world since American media and influence is prevalent everywhere.
To me it feels like this won’t end well and it feels like it’s just a matter of time until something very bad happens like the second civil war or so and the storm on the capitol might be nothing compared to that. But maybe that’s the only way they will finally learn if they’re lacking these core morals and integrity and they don’t get educated about that in school.
It also seems like they can’t handle critique and can’t admit it/stand to those things. When I once asked a similar question on Reddit the only thing I got back was bashing and personal attacks and I hope it’s not the same here, cause that is literally just proving my point. There needs to be constructive discussions.
We’ve had a couple of reports about this post, but I’m going to let it slide for the moment because the discussion seems mostly respectful. Let’s keep it polite though please.
TLDR The US is a mafia-esque arms dealer / financial scam that masquerades as a “moral democracy”. Capital won in America, and this is what happens.
Each person is not a member of a society or community, but is a competitor. We are atomized, severed from our families and communities and increasingly told we are commodities ourselves. This strategy works in favor of central power as it actively works to erode the ties between people, and that makes them isolated and unable to band together as easily.
Sure there’s individualism and other toxic mythologies that play some part, but the country has increasingly become a corrupt business that serves its board of directors and not its employees. I’m sure there are countless moments where you could make an argument that this process went into overdrive, for me it’s around Regan and after and the various policies that led to destruction of unions, led to offshoring and functionally turned the US into a financialized service economy. Maybe that’s just coincidence and the real cause was the collapse of the USSR, like I said there’s probably many moments/causal events one could make a reasonable argument for.
What we have now: some clown dimension right wing that would like to legalize sport hunting immigrants and the homeless while fire sale busting out the entire US govt, and a bloodless “liberal” center-right that merely wants to criminalize, imprison and then work for profit the people the right would like to sport-hunt, while funneling money to their friends and family. Both are fine with genocide, provided the weapons proceeds end up in the correct place. Those two political fronts represent a section of the populace that is likely less than .01%.
Eyeballs on content equals money. Rage equals more eyeballs, thusly more money.
this, the “News” or, how people get information about their world, has been broken for 40 years or so
addictive, hate fueled, lie filled, drama news is the norm. murdoch must die
In my view, Social media is a big factor in creating echo chambers and disinformation.
To be fair, I think this is the official, mainstream view too.
It might explain a few things if this was an American thing, as I have experienced similar things as well, and I don’t know why either. Though in my case few of them identify as American.
Thank you for being sane
What do you mean by “identify as American”?
I’m technically American, but America wants me dead. As such, I do not voluntarily identify as American anymore. Dunno if that’s what they’re referring to, but ye.
What do you mean by America wants you dead?
I’m trans. America’s right-wing, who are now in control, have repeatedly talked about how America needs to be purged of “transgenderism”.
That is deff a thing going on unfortunately. Y’all Qaeda needs to go. Good luck out there
It’s not an American thing it’s a human thing.
The more time spent angry the more active and larger the amygdala gets.
So now when in a situation the amygdala is calling the shoots, and it’s either calling for blood or for you to run.
It’s how we evolved, if we’re surrounded by anger, fear, and confrontation we switch over to a mode that can handle that.
The current problem is fearmongering and billionaire ran media that keeps telling everyone to panic, so they do.
People get in this state from the media, interact with others and it spreads. Society as we know it is incredibly recent on an evolutionary scale, so it is often shocking how fast we can slide back to people who are thinking on a short timeline where 20 years is “forever ago”.
That’s not even getting into wealth inequality and how resource scarceness while young can fuck someone up for life.
I can corroborate, anecdotally, the behavioral side of this.
When I have conversations with notoriously angry people and can maintain my chill and treat them with dignity (despite whatever behavior they’re exhibiting), they usually chill out. The more of angry person they are takes more effort, but patience, calm, and respect diffuse things very effectively. The patience is really hard, but it has worked for me.
The problem, which is relevant to the physical changes you described, is that the effect is only temporary in isolation. I have found the repeating this over time with a person does cause their baseline anger level to reduce over time, but it’s a fuckton of work and difficult to scale due to the time commitment. It also doesn’t scale via media because this kind of behavior doesn’t draw attention. It’s an unfortunate bug in our psychology
Our standard of living is collapsing and we have no way out because all of our media is controlled by billionaires, all our politicians are controlled by billionaires, the economy is controlled by billionaires, our entertainment is controlled by billionaires. This is what the billionaires want, so it’s what the billionaires get. I’m probably about to lose my hrt and could soon find myself in financial ruin because Texas is trying to establish bounty laws that’d allow people to sue trans people and doctors who offer gender affirming care. Healthcare costs are out of control as well. It cost me $300 for a single appointment at planned parenthood to start hrt. My therapist, who I see weekly, costs over $200 a session. Insurance will not cover either one, because it doesn’t see either one as being medically necessary.
So yes, we are getting extremely pissed off.
Sorry you have to go through that. I hope you are able to get out of Texas at some point.
It fucking sucks, yo. “That’s just how life is” is becoming my mantra. Quite honestly, I’m not sure I’ll ever find a place where I’ll feel safe, secure and supported. I don’t think trans people get to have all three, nor will we ever.
I’ll tell you that where I live in America is waaaaaayyyy more accepting than what you’re describing. A friend transitioned a couple years ago, and said that the insurance, doctors and her job were all super helpful and understanding. A drag queen duo just sold out one of the most popular venues in the city multiple nights for their annual holiday show. Hell, the bar down the street from me has a trans couple who are regulars and nobody gives a shit (coincidentally, they just moved here from Texas). It’s not even a queer bar or anything, it’s just a normal watering hole.
A lot of places in America suck, but there are oases, is what I’m saying.
What state/city is this in? That sounds really nice, though I’m guessing it’s a very expensive place to live. Seems like you either get cheap and hateful, or expensive and tolerant in the US.
Edit: I actually really wanna know. Depending on the cost of living it might become my no. 1 destination.
Seattle. And yes, it’s fucking expensive. Outside of the city is cheaper, but diminishing returns on inclusiveness the farther away you get.
If you have a tech background, living here gets way easier.
Yeah, there’s no way I’ll ever be able to afford to live somewhere like Seattle.
Before you give up entirely, check out some of the areas surrounding Seattle. The capital is a bit more affordable and there are a lot of state jobs.
Philly has a strong LGBTQ+ community and isn’t as prohibitively expensive to live in as Seattle. I work with some trans and nonbinary people in the city and they have told me they’re content living and working in Philly.
So you’re stereotyping a country of 341 million people based off of your personal interactions with a few of them on the internet?
We’re not a monoculture, bud. How would you feel if I asked “Why does it seem like Europeans have become so judgmental and preachy in the past years?”
Bud
Responding aggressively to a post asking why it appears that American culture has become more aggressive and hateful is not helping as much as you think.
Typical answer. I wasn’t trying to stereotype but just share my experience. I haven’t experienced this type of hate here in Europe and it was a noticeable difference for me. But of course you are very welcomed to share your bad experiences with Europeans with us as long as it’s constructive.
I think I understand now, Europe is a utopia the US is filled with hateful bikers and people driving big trucks?
Don’t be an asshole, lmao. You complain about Americans being bloodthirsty fucks and then you turn around and act like the typical “snooty, judgmental and condescending euro-prick” stereotype we have here in the states.
The reason why I’m engaging with you is because you’re not wrong, America has become extremely angry and bloodthirsty. However, that doesn’t give you an excuse to be condescending about it.
Don’t be an asshole, lmao. You complain about Americans being bloodthirsty fucks and then you turn around and act like the typical “snooty, judgmental and condescending euro-prick” stereotype we have here in the states.
I’m glad you were posting this cause that’s a great example of exactly what I meant. It’s just insulting, hateful and fully unconstructive. It was just a matter of time till one of these posts came.
You should try owning it! This is my solution. For “condescending and pretentious”, I read “intelligent and sophisticated”.
On the contrary, the above comment gives actionable advice and explains why you’re wrong without using insulting language. This is perhaps the most constructive feedback you’ll get
Typical answer.
In what world is telling someone “typical answer” not a cunt response in a post about being civil
With that I meant that I wasn’t surprised that someone will be offended and condemn me as stereotyping even though I stated multiple times that that’s not my intention. I’m saying if anyone has critique towards Europe I’m very open and interested in it as well. But like I mentioned, if any it’s just proving what I said
Let’s not beat around the bush we’re both adults here. Using charged language is fun but you gotta own it when you do it.
Open mind is more of an aspirational handle I guess
18 days accounts. Only two posts are this. Looks like a troll
Yeah I’m going to shut up now because you may be right. Appreciate it.
See it is as if you want to argue over any price. You’re literally looking to fight with someone but I’m not. All I’m thinking is: why? It’s very immature
My bad if you’re actually trying to better wrap your mind around this. I think my frustration stems from the feeling that Europe doesn’t seem to realize they have much of the same problems as the US, just being 10 years behind, imo. We definitely are on more of a tinder box as a result of there being so many firearms in the country, but right wing populism is growing across the Atlantic just like it is thriving here. Im not going to try to invalidate what your friend has experienced since coming here.
I feel like there’s a bigger trend towards empty populism worldwide and authoritarianism that people aren’t realizing. It makes me feel like posts like this feed into a crab in a bucket kind of situation. It doesn’t help I’m from New Jersey and my state regularly gets mocked domestically so I’m already primed to be on edge. I wouldn’t have posted my last message, in hindsight.
The media everywhere knows that showing people who are on an extreme gets more views. So that is what you will see from outside. As for the people you have meet. The chill people don’t travel as much.
We’re scared of the future I guess. Feel free to ask if you are genuinely curious about Americans.
It’s not just the US.
The underlying cause you’re looking for is wealth inequality.
The vast majority of people are worker drones. We will work hard all of our lives in unsatisfying jobs with minimal leisure time, and if we get really lucky we can stop work for a few years before we die when we’re too sick to work any more.
This general discontent will manifest in hatred in one way or another. Social media is channelling it into different things but the underlying cause is the same.
The real answer is they’ve been conditioned. They have so much excess, but rather than funnel that excess to those who need it, they all decide to hoard it and use it to gain as much more excess as possible.
They’re greedy. They’re entitled. They’re insecure. It’s a bad combination.
It’s the old trope … the perception of the future gets worse for some group and then society fractures into people that are willing to take ownership and do something about it vs people that accept polarized answers that “it’s not their fault, they’ve been treated unfairly, and the other guy caused all their problems.”
Once you have a significant portion of people blaming “the other” society just stops working right and fights with itself. In many cases it’s self imposed, but social media has added fuel to the fire and festered and inflamed old wounds (with the help of foreign governments seeking to do just that).
We have half of society blaming liberals, gays, blacks, the poor, the colleges, and immigrants. Then we have the other half of society blaming conservatives, christians, old white men, the rich, hillbillies, and the uneducated.
Frankly, we all need to take a chill pill and realize most people want to be left alone to do their own thing. Then we need to sit down at the table and look at which politicians are building bridges and which politicians are burning them. Most of us want similar things, we’ve just been conditioned to focus on our differences.
You have every right to be worried, the American empire is in decline and its ruling class is becoming increasingly fascist. This is reflected in public and online discourse and you have clearly taken notice. I would note though that what you see on FOX news is not followed by much of the younger generations. This is not to say that reactionaries do not exist amongst our youth, they certainly do and they have a fervor to them as well. They simply follow more contemporary fascist like Shapiro, Peterson, Fuentes, and billionaires like Musk. As well as manosphere content more often than not.
It is worth noting though that leftist political movements are growing rapidly too. We are at quite the disadvantage though.
Keep paying attention, it will get worse.
The dumbest most faithful people in the country have had their religious institutions influenced by Conservative con men since the 70s in an attempt to create a loyal voter base that doesn’t care about their politicians causing the worst wealth inequality ever.
Basically the dumbest people on earth have been fooled into attacking straw men instead of being capable of forming associations of cause and effect in reality.
I hope you’re not naive enough to think it also isn’t happening where you are, too.
It definitely is unfortunately. Source: not an American.
While I fully agree and am very afraid of the current developments this answer kind of comes off as “you too” which feels like a try to belittle the issue.
There’s a lot of context missing in this, like the USA having the biggest army and privately owned guns, just to name one thing.
