(So I <3 you Mlem, but you keep crashing or not opening.)
I have returned on Voyager. It’s look on iPad is meh, but who am I to complain.
I also now have a dirty little secret. I finally tried CGPT today. It didn’t do the particular thing I wanted it to do, but it was interesting nonetheless. I’ve been reading some interesting comments on people replacing therapy with it and claims of better results with it and the image version than hired agencies. That’s a scary thought, but I guess it really highlights language and literal vs interpretation. Guess being a prompt engineer really is a thing.
Warning, strange dream stuff in a wall of text below.
In other wild news on the channel that is my brain. Holy hell. The dream/s I awoke from the morning I think just highlights some stress level at an all time high. My dream was such an insane jumble of scenarios saying it out aloud was just so bizarre. I do get a lot of jump/cut scenes in my dreams. So that bit isn’t unusual.
- There was a nightclub with a warehouse that had a netball team (all of which were partially owned by moi). Then there were sneaky negotiations and no one was to be trusted because apparently other parties were trying to take it and just leave me with warehouse/netball team.
- There was a strange female older adult that I somehow knew who was sick (absolutely no idea who that might have represented) and needed regular massage treatment who knew about the bad things going on, but was an unreliable narrator.
- Then there was someone who was quasi-stalking the netball team. I caught them and it was a women who was making weird posters of the team members naked using photos. I snatched the poster and ran upstairs only to open it and find that I grabbed something else and it was a photo of me and someone else in my life and some weird mundane comments below. I close it and then open it and I can’t find the photo any more and I find it in some weird pocket of the poster. So so weird.
- I then leave and am walking a friend back to their home (it’s sunny outside and no idea who the friend is). I have expensive shoes on and an expensive bag that I know is the equivalent to something like Hermes and none of these items are my colours at all. As I leave their house, I slide down their short drive way because my soles are slippery and I fall over scraping the slightly bag. I check and it’s okay, but my shoes which are this weird pale buttercup yellow have some damage, but it’s not a scrape but some part of the sole need the heel that has become unglued. I get up and their cat runs out and attacks my shoes twice by digging their claws in. I tell my friend, but they’re like, the cat is just saying hello.
- Then there was a storm and I was at my home, but not my home. A tiny picture frame falls off the wall and the frame comes apart slightly, but it’s not broken. I went to fix it and when I look out the window I can see the wild storm over the city, which is weird because the view is actually from a window at the house I grew up in. I see what looks like a hurricane in the distance behind the city line and birds flying like crazy overhead. I then see a firetruck and when I turn around to go the middle of the house that has large bifold doors that are open, two drenched couples turn up and I say, have you just been to the races because they’re all dressed up. I realise they’re airbnb’ing the house and I’m not supposed to be there. I tell them I’ll just grab my stuff. I fix the picture frame and hang it back on the wall and as I’m grabbing my stuff I go to my bedroom and it’s weird. It’s messy and for a moment I freak out because I think, ugh, have these people just slept in my bed without fresh sheets, but then I look again and realise there are fresh sheets on it.
Then I wake up.
So I used to tell these weird dreams to my friend when I was in primary and her father used to always say I was fibbing. LOL.
If I could ever write this stuff, I’d be a modern day Kafka. Hahahahah.
that’s a proper winter day
fucken freezen mate
Brrrr
Modding Skyrim, looks like the 2021 Anniversary DLC is both necessary for a lot of mod lists and prohibitive on older mods.
Dam, the new cafe has shitty snack packs.
Like a HSP? They’re like the simplest sum of it’s parts thing to put together. Good meat is key in them though
They fucked up on the ratios, 80% chips.
That’s no good at all. The best HSPs are covered in meat and you’ve got to eat some to even get at the chips that are soaked in sauce and juices
We just went to the La Trobe market. You can’t best a good old school market with the guy at the fruit and vegetable stall constantly shouting
I hate when I come across shit like calculators. They still work, can’t give them away, can’t throw them out, already have 4 scientific calculators kicking around. I have no problem throwing broken shit out but when they still work I just can’t do it as easy.
I still have my old calculator from years and years ago. It was really expensive at the time. I suppose it’s a keep sake in a way.
TI-83 plus represent.
I remember running some version of Mario bros on mine lol
Anyone watching UFC with me? Best card in fucking ages
Watching Spy but randomly skipping parts of the start because i want o love melissa mccarthy but there’s only so much ‘woman does stupid clumsy things and accepts being treated as lesser by overtly misogynistic farps’ i can stand before i try to leap through the tv and attack her and i’m already close to the limit because miranda hart is in this too. Also still running a fever so relaity is trnous.
Maybe i should watch llama face instead
I really hate that.
There’s either the one dimensional girlboss who’s basically a male action hero with boobs and anything less than that is to be aggressively looked down on… or there’s the bumbling Bridget Jones everywoman who’s supposed to be relatable.
Mix of strengths and weaknesses pls
relaity is trnous
This is the truth of the universe
So’s llama face
It’s just for the movie, they have to make it all extreme so the change is much more dramatic.
But it doesn’t ring true. The type of woman who would work in such a place would already be unorthodox and care little for social expectations regarding gender roles. She would have a strong character that doesn’t care much what people say or think so there is no way she would put up with crap for long.
Kooka’s Country Cookies are the best cookies. No other compares to the greatness of Kooka’s.
The lemons one are nice. Think I’m going to buy done this week.
These taste best when acquired from your motel room’s complimentary coffee/tea bar.
Yesss, love them. A packet of choc raspberry or lemon biscuits does not last even one day at my house lol
The lemon ones have me drooling like Homer Simpson.
Fully agree. Lemon is the bomb for me.
oh yes, they are very very delicious. I’m still not buying any.
They are delicious. For some reason, in the rare occasion I stay in a motel they always seem to have them in the ‘tea & coffee’ box
Oh damn. Just woke up from a nap.
i should’ve gotten up two hours ago but now im up and that is good
I’m making kofta for dinner.
I can no longer tolerate tuna pasta. I can eat the same thing for months, but it does eventually get old lol
Great ideas!
Lamb?
Definitely
Yummo!
Vinyl finds today are a recording of the Hollywood Bowl Orchestra, the guys Bugs Bunny plays with. I have 4 of their records now, it’s just like famous tunes and greatest classical hits but nicely done and a box set of Rusalka by Dvorak too. Last week I got a box set of The Merchant of Venice and over the next week I’ll be playing all my Shakespeare records. :)
But mainly I took another bag of stuff to the opshop. 👍
Most work I’ve ever done for a bunch of flowers 😜
Their rose design is evolving!
Yes! I think additions will be necessary
They are very interesting.
mental health stuff - working stuff out by writing....
I had a lovely day out with friends but struggled to get any enjoyment out of it, and to focus on the moment (very brainfoggy). Made me realise I’m further down the depression path then I thought. I’ve had a few big stressful things going on that have made me anxious and down. But it’s gone beyond external - haven’t felt this disconnected and …grey… for a long time.
I came home and went straight to bed - just felt completely overwhelmed. Have managed to make dinner finally by putting on a podcast for company. And that’s rice and dal so I’ll get lunch out of it too. I need to plan out my work week - it’s busy and I like to get ahead of it on sunday but I’m just burned. No I can’t realistically take a mental health day or three right now either (for reasons, trust me)
So. this week I will:
- Eat breakfast and lunch and at least a light dinner. I can boil an egg if needed
- Sleep by 10pm and I will be out of bed by 6:30. If I can, go for a walk. If not, just stand outside for a few moments.
- keep cutting back on sugar and lay off the alcohol for the week - neither help
- Take meds and add in a multivitamin (I have a half a container I bought when I was getting over the flu).
god, that sounds exhausting. And I need to realise it is exhausting - so I will use my ‘spoons’ for food, washing, sleeping, moving. And the work I have to do. That’s going to be it this week.
I’m going to post here to try to keep track. Hopefully it’s just from stress/burnout and I can get back out of the hole with a couple of weeks of care.
Hopefully you have enough spoons to get back on track. I’m cheering you on!
❤️ having little sancuaries of friendliness on the internets makes a big difference. thanks
so many hugs
you can post here anytime, we are all here for you 😘
Thanks mate.
I might join you… I’m pretty good with having breakfast/dinner after 20 years of being inconsistent with either. But I have a habit of coming home from work, eating dinner on the couch and then not moving from there until I go to bed. I have almost no friends in Melbourne so I spend my weekends doing much the same.
You’ve got this! 🙂