Inspired by the very similar thread about school incidents.
Couple of HR people had sex on a desk, not realising they could be seen from the upmarket hotel across the street. Oops!
There were quite a few other incidents - it was quite a lively workplace - but this was the funniest.
I guess we should really tell the HR about it. Wait.
Guy on the team rage quits one day. Few days pass and HR goes to clean out his desk. Finds a paper bag full of syringes and a very graphic instruction manually on how to inject something into your dick.
Whatever it was, I guess it can’t wait until you’re at home to inject into your dong. It has to be at work.
Cherry on top was that HR policy was to box up all personal belongings left behind and have the ex-employee come pick them up. So, if he had forgotten these things were in his desk, he certainly remembered after he came back and they handed him the bag.
All I can say is: holy fuck.
The CEO sent out the email that COVID vaccination was required for all employees or the people that refused would be terminated, like most workplaces. It was fully expected seeing as it is a hospital, and all but a handful of employees compiled. This moron decided to reply all (the reply all to CEO emails has thus been disabled since) with a lecture full of antivax nonsense about how COVID vaccines were experimental and contain fetal cells, and the revelation that they had been reading patient charts that they had no business reading for COVID test results and the consultation or ER notes, and wrote about the “proof” that they had that nobody had died or gotten really sick from COVID, and how the CEO was extremely misinformed on the subject of COVID. That resulted in immediate termination and it was pretty hilarious to read their nonsense and the fact they admitted to every employee they had been violating patient confidentiality. You want to be that dumb, have at it.
Worked at a place where our CIO was completely unqualified to be a leader, much less a leader in IT. She was a micromanager who took the position of “telling stakeholders” instead of “working with stakeholders” so any project she was on was really her pushing through whatever agenda she had at the time. Meanwhile her deputy CIO was stealing computer equipment from the server room but I digress…
April fools one year and I decide to prank it up. I moved the hinges (not the door handles) of the freezer/fridge in the breakroom so that the handle and hinges were on the same side. It’s a fifteen minute job to move everything so I did it the night before the 1st.
The next morning our hungover CIO stumbles into the breakroom and cannot get the fridge to open. After a few seconds of futile tugging on the handle, she gave up and took her lunch to her office.
Others in the office figured it out pretty quickly and had a good chuckle.
Later on that day CIO sends out a nastygram about pranks being unprofessional, property damage, someone was going to be in huge trouble, yadda yadda…
But she’s not the director. The director tells her to basically fuck off, it was a funny prank, and perhaps she needed to lighten up.
She never found out it was me.
Ha!! As an appliance repair guy i learned about reversing the door hinges+handles a long time ago. It never occurred to me to use it for a prank until i was living in my apartment for a few years, and realized it really would make more sense to reverse the hinges to open the door the other way. I moved the hinges, but then it occurred to me that i can leave the handles where they were and prank all my friends when they came over. Unsurprisingly, it works! People usually would figure it out eventually but sometimes we had to intervene if they were getting too rough with it.
I got so used to having it set up that way that once in a blue moon I’d go to open other people’s refrigerators the wrong way (not the best look for a repair tech, LOL)
Anticlimactic but back when I was working for an ISP we had a couple portable Honda generators that we used to power gear when the power went out.
We never tested the generators because we were using them every 2 months because Australian power problems.
One time I get to a radio tower and the genny doesn’t start, add a splash more fuel in the tank, still no start. Drive back to the office and grab the second one, and return to the radio tower. Second genny doesn’t start, but power comes back after a bit.
We took them to a place to be serviced and they each and a different problem, but the third one I didn’t grab was perfectly fine.
From then on I did a monthly test on all 3 gennys and they never had a problem.
This has been the most ordinary day post I’ve seen so far, I envy you. Meanwhile our company has refused to sign off on funds for the e-generators that have been down for 5 months. So next big storm we’re SoL.
Make sure to print out those emails with them refusing to fix the gennys for when they are looking for someone to blame.
Everyone on our end has their texts and emails saved. It’s pretty much the department head, GM, and a couple of others giving us the run-around. And we’re always sending weekly reminders so it’s not something they can say they forgot about.
If you haven’t responded to us in 3 days about your “urgent” issue, it clearly isn’t urgent and is being downgraded to a p3.
If you still don’t respond after a week, is it really an issue?
So wait… after the first one didn’t start, you just grabbed the second one, and instead of testing it at the office, you just went back to the site with an untested genny?
Yes. Because why would a second one fail?
Why would the first one fail? I mean you should have checked the first time and definitely should have checked the second time.
And that is what we did from then on.
Guy found a gun in the customer’s stuff
Guy starting waving it around and playing with it, pulled the fuckin trigger, almost shot one of his coworkers
Cops came, guy said he was moving a cabinet and it went off which obviously no one believed, somehow he wasn’t arrested, idk
Guy was fired over the phone before he left the customer’s house
Another:
Big awful dude starts working, among other issues he was SUPER upset that the girls at the gym are allowed to have their own separate area to work out where he can’t ogle them, he felt this was grossly unfair and was angry about it
So anyway my boss goes back to the truck to get something, at like 9 in the morning on the job site, opens up the back, the ENTIRE truck is filled with weed smoke which billows out because big awful dude is in there getting high. Boss is upset, obviously, but big awful dude is just laughing
I think they had to finish out the day with him but the boss was definitely irritated about it
Oh shit! I forgot one from another job.
One of the busboys walked into the office, found no people and a satchel with about $30,000 in cash, picked it up and walked out, clocked out like normal, went home.
Guy SHOWED UP TO WORK THE NEXT DAY. Just assuming I guess, they won’t have cameras or anything, if I just don’t say anything there’s no way they can know who it was and they’ll probably just move on if I play it cool.
I guess the management was pretty aware of his level of planning skills because they had cops waiting at the restaurant at the time of his scheduled starting time and he was taken away in cuffs, presumably not to return for quite a long time.
He got free food and a bed? Jealous.
I guess in his defense, he knew damn well if he stopped coming to work the day after $30k went missing, they’d know it was him.
I mean obviously the smart thing to do is not to fucking touch the money, but I’ll give the guy showing up to work the next day. It’s not like $30k is flee-to-Argentina-and-start-a-new-life money.
No, the smart thing to do is to not leave 30k unattended around people who aren’t paid well.
Was this one on the news? This is very very familiar
stressed out researcher tried to get a temp to ship out biological specimens by fedex.
Like standard mail fedex? No special packaging or anything?
yup on standard fedex. I mean packaged up well on our end but still something that is a crime.
A coworker aggressively made out with my face at a work event out of town and they stopped letting us put alcohol on our expense reports. I was universally blamed for the policy change and HR tried to send ME to sexual harassment training because it was my fault for socializing with her, apparently!
Direct quote from the HR director: “If you knew she was a sloppy drunk, why did you go out with her?”
Wow that’s fucked man. What happened to you?
My idiot friend told his boss about it and she reported it on my behalf. I told them I didn’t want anything done about it but they sent me through the HR grinder anyway and I quit like 6 months later for a shit job. Good times, kinda ruined my life for 8 years
I was supervising filling in a pit we had dug on the edge of a forest. We had dump trucks coming in dumping gravel. One particular driver wasn’t great at his job and there had been issues with him in the past.
That driver came in and dumped his gravel, but then he drove off with his bed still raised and almost immediately smashed into electric lines that ran off into the forest. One telephone pole even snapped at the base and fell over.
Within 30 seconds multiple cops came speeding onto the job site. It turns out those electric lines ran to a radio tower in the woods that ran the police radio. The idiot in the dump truck had taken out the police comms for the whole town.
Couldn’t they sell a few of their spare MRAPs to buy a backup generator and a redundant microwave link? Sheesh.
Note: if you’re planning a crime in that town, you only have to cut one wire to disable all police communication.
That’s some lacking infrastructure
This is why we shld bury our lines, much more effort to dig down six feet than get a ladder and snip
Or use mobile phone networks.
A wild backhoe appears!
It used Dig! It’s Super Effective!
What does a network engineer bring on a hiking trip in the woods? Water, snacks, extra sunscreen, a first aid kit, bug repellent, bear spray … and a folding shovel and a piece of fiber-optic cable.
(What’s the fiber for?)
Well, if you get lost in the woods or need to be rescued, you take the shovel, dig a trench, put the fiber in it, bury it … and within an hour, someone with a backhoe will show up to tear it up. Then you can just follow the backhoe tracks back to civilization.
Buried lines of all kinds are frequently severed by excavators because their position isn’t properly or fully documented.
The best set up I ever saw was a sewer tunnel, almost 12 feet tall, that handled all the services. From sewage to water to electricity to data; it held everything and was trivial to maintain and run new lines in.
line sounds like a really interesting idea, although I feel like documenting where you put things should be a basic task. Probably why it’s not done properly
And this is how a micro quake severed our T1 line from LA to Phoenix and shut the network down in our office for a week.
Honestly never thought of that, sounds like there would need to be some sort of protective channeling, with space to allow some shifting
I knew some people who would in a small jurisdiction have a friend go far from where they were doing crimes and light off a bunch of pop-pop-pop fireworks to draw police attention away from the less attention grabbing thing they were doing
Allegedly
That’s some lacking infrastructure
They probably had plenty of infrastructure for normal operations.
What they were lacking was a BCDR plan.
…which includes having backup lines or a more robust installation. Police officers aren’t engineers or system administrators for public infrastructure.
You’re right tho, a backup alone would not be sufficient
You’d be surprised, how fragile critical infrastructure often is. There was an incident in Europe a few years ago, where a single miscalculation in a planned power line shutdown almost caused the entire European grid to split.
It slowed down a bit, and then we quickly learned that maintaining the perfect 50hz wasn’t actually necessary anymore. Few people still have clocks that depend on it
Clocks, true.
Computer systems in general, however, will start acting very squirrelly outside of an approved MHz range. Wall warts and power supplies can handle only so much deviation from the norm. It’s why high-end UPS systems do power conditioning to provide a pure sine wave.
No worries we’re talking like 49.9995 hz
I’m not talking about the incident in Romania, but in Germany.
A shipyard needed some wires over a river deactivated and that caused an overload cascade, because the river was the border between two providers who had different assumptions about the capacity of the power lines connecting them.
oh damn, ain’t something. I will be looking into that, thank you!
Worked on a military base that had a small lake. Against policy, a civilian employee went out fishing during his lunch break, somehow capsized his rowboat and had to be rescued by the on-base fire department. Unsurprisingly, he didn’t lose his job over it.
Please tell me you’re talking about lake bandini (pretty sure thats what we called the lagoon in 29 palms)
No, sorry. This was on the east coast. I bet the same story applies to a few different bases though lol.
Can’t fire him; you have to keep the best and the brightest on your team! /s
We used to go out for drinks after work once or twice a week
Then a guy got so drunk he puked at the bar, got in a fight with another guy and bit his ear off
The guy was immediately fired obviously but we don’t socialize like we used to for some reason
You ever have alcohol just hit harder than expected? I was out at a work party. I can’t remember what it was for. It was a small office. Less than 10 total people including the three owners.
I only had two drinks but I must not have eaten anything that day because I was fucking wasted. The office manager had to drive me home in the middle of it. So we fucked at my place. Nothing was ever said after. I worked there another few years. Eventually had a 3-way with the office manager and my future wife.
10/10 would do again.
Shorts got banned because ceo saw someone’s balls.
Real question was why they were looking so closely at that workers crotch while we were in chairs
Blame the idiots who are buying short shorts again. Probably the same idiots who buy skinny jeans.
Wow and if your balls are low enough to be visible you know it’s got to be hot, thus proving the necessity of shorts!
But yeah, some humans have balls and sometimes you’ll see them, get over it. I hope no one tells this ceo about breasts.
Wasn’t that they were low, more the angle he was at let him see up the crotch
cursed Chubbies, they look so good but they hold so little
Depends. Had a client pull a knife on me once, and another dragged me around the facility for an hour while he tried to break down a door to “kill” another client because he had stolen the change from a $5 Taco Bell gift card.
The other incident being was a coworker harboring one of the fugitive kids at her house with her like…6 children while her husband was away in Nebraska for work. Randomly saw her in family court a year later while I was working another job, hopefully while her husband fights her for custody of the kids…
We had to close our sky several times during those last 4 years (meaning no aircrafts allowed above the country). Several times for technical failures, the last one this summer wasn’t our fault but was cool.
I arrived at work for a night shift in the ACC (area control center), heavy rain above the city, I see a small lake forming up against the building underground.
When I reached the elevator, I took off my EarPods and heard a shower like sound coming from the elevator. Eh let’s take the stairs… Curious, I venture to the underground where I’m greeted by a bunch of laughing air traffic controllers and the ACC supervisor for the night. There is something like 40cm of water everywhere, blocking access to the -1 floor and our smoking corner. We joke about doing the “clear the sky” procedure because we can’t use the smoking corner.
A few minutes later we are all back in the ACC, I wasn’t seated yet when the crisis phone rang: We mobilize the board of crisis, reason is the flooding reached some electrical supply rooms, like UPS and batteries rooms.
30 minutes later the AC is down. AC for us humans in the building but mostly for the data center with all the ATC systems needed for our work. Some systems start to overheat and fail.
Less than one hour into my shift, the board of crisis that quickly assembled comes to us in the ops room and says: “We clear the sky, it’s too dangerous”.
For us in air traffic control, clearing the sky is easy, you just tell aircrafts a heading to quickly get the fuck out of our airspace and then you stay in front of an empty radar screen. Capacity management people have a little bit more work to do, announcing Europe and Eurocontrol that our ‘capacity = 0 please don’t send traffic’. It’s the tech people that have a lot of work in those situations, personally I just sat on my ass making jokes and scrolling lemmy.
We ended up switching off all the unused screens, systems etc to avoid heat. Opened all the electronics hatches, all doors, everything we could do to have some fresh air inside as it was getting hot. Airport fire squad quickly came and pumped out the water from the basement. They did that all night until morning.
At the end of my shift at 6, temperature inside the ACC was 29 degrees C (instead of 23) and humidity % unknown but it felt “sticky”. Sky was still closed. Apparently during the day it felt like a sauna.
The tech guys managed to restore some AC only for the data center and the ACC but not the rest of the buildings so it was mandatory work from home for non ops people. When I came back the evening for my second night shift, everything was back to normal for us and it was a sad normal night with no fun events.
It turned out that the flooding reached 40 cm on the -1 floor and 1m40 on the -2 floor. There is a small underground river below that with a pool that is used as natural cold water for AC. That cold pool was filled with hotter (and unclean) rain water, killing the cold production loop.
Close the sky is an amazing phrase to be able to use
Not current workplace but previous ones.
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Used to work with a guy who had no filter whatsoever and would openly brag about how efficiently and quickly he’d work and multitask, and about the 9/10 models he used to shag back when he lived in South East Asia. He was fired from my workplace after a string of incidents where he growled at a female colleague, bullied several other colleagues over bad quality monitors and openly used racial slurs in the office.
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That same guy went to work for an energy company that I had other friends work at. I learned he was fired and escorted out by security within minutes after being reprimanded by a team leader. He went into a company-wide Slack channel and openly called her a “fucking bitch.”
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Two people got fired for taking dick pics in the office whilst on an evening shift and posting them on their socials.
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