I, just wanna stop feeling anything. Never had friends but I could live with that, but I just want someone to embrace, someone that feels something for me, even if doesn’t last. Better than 0 for the rest of my life. This situation is slowly killing me.
The only thing that gives me some relief is gaming… (I read the post of like a week ago here that several dudes met their partner thanks to a videogame and I felt even sadder, why that wasn’t me? I’ve been gaming for 30 years now).
You sound depressed. It’s a dark place, like a deep sinkhole, that you might not be able to climb out of by yourself. Seek help. You can get antidepressants that will lift some of the weight and sadness. With them, you’ll be able to take a breath, go outside and socialize. You’ll find the energy to actually meet people. It’s always better to start with friends (including women), a romantic relationship can come later. Once you’re able to get into a healthy routine, you might be able to get off the meds.
That’s not a possibility to me.
Why not?
Perhaps lack of money in combination with being born in the wrong country? I’m sorry if that’s the case.
Getting outside can help- a walk, dog park, outdoor cafe, …
The family already has a dog
How do you feel about the dog? Would you be willing to take him/her for a short walk each day? Having someone/something that depends on you can be huge. When my son was struggling he got a cat. It gave him a reasom to go home each night. Sometimes you’ll do for someone else what you won’t do for yourself.
No, not really. I was against having it.
Having a dog helped me really get to know lots of people in the area when I moved home to somewhere totally new to me. Having a really friendly and safe dog breed makes you immediately so much more approachable, an ice breaker conversation (the dog), and a regular opportunity to meet the same people out and about.
If you’re in a situation where a dog is a good choice, I’d really recommend it.
I would add that demonstrating that you know how to love and care for another being also makes you feel safer and more approachable to someone weary of strange men. It’s a great way to put a potential victim at ease.
I will tell you that at least initially you shouldn’t be looking for a partner/SO. Just try finding someone (online or real life) regardless of gender to do some activity that you both enjoy together. Don’t be a weirdo, creepy, edgy, simp, nice guy, that will help ya, but also look on how to have conversations, have some good sense of humour, and be an emotionally aware and empathetic person. Ask for and set expectations/boundaries. And try to enjoy what you’re both doing. And remember, love is not enough.
Go outside and stop wasting your life away playing videogames. It won’t help you. If you need suggestions on where to go, try finding a Church.
My local library has a tech mentors program where you teach people how to work computers. I do it once every two weeks. It makes me feel like a rock star every time I go. If you’re on Lemmy, you’re qualified.
Changed everything for me!
Also looks good on a resume.
Since your hobby is gaming have you tried LAN events? If there are some you can go to, even afford to fly to, you can make friends IRL and keep them when you go back home. You know you have one thing in common with your potential new friends!
Or join Discord groups! Join more social games like MMORPGs? I don’t game anymore but think of my gaming friends fondly as I got to know many over the years and find out things about them in and out of games :)
There’s none. Majority of adults here don’t play videogames. And discord is a mess, too complicated to use and you need to already to know people to make it work, also nobody here use it. People here only use Instagram or WhatsApp and I don’t see the point of following people at the other side of the world
X
alcoholism and gaming
For like 90% of lonely adults, I think the answer is alcoholism + hobby. “Check with your doctor to see if alcoholism is right for you.”
I think if alcoholism was prescribed by a doctor that it should move us to the top of the liver transplant list
Already doing that
A nice cocktail of a lot of prescribed psych meds, going to a bar, eating kebab, meeting strangers
Sorry that this isn’t helpful, but for many years it was alcohol.
Yeah, same, and seems like a temporary solution but I’m trying to stop being overweight.
This guy shows up weekly. His accounts keep getting banned. He posts things like this, and then tells everyone trying to offer real advice that it all doesn’t work for him. It’s attention seeking and he doesn’t actually want help. This is basically a troll post.
People have met their partner in a video game? I don’t know dude… Don’t count on that chance of happening.
Anyway, stop focusing on not trying to be lonely. It will only make you more lonely.
Yeah, maybe they were lying or something, but it still bummed me out. It was a post here from last week
I don’t think OP is actually interested in making their life better, but for anyone else who saw the post and was like “oh that’s me” there are good answers in the other replies.
Nothing I’m going to write is especially original.
First off, you probably need to be somewhere where there are people. Cities are great. Nowhere, Nebraska is going to make things harder. If you’re out in the country you’re probably going to need to move or commute. There may still be local stuff happening, but with fewer people there’s probably less of it.
But once you find where people hang out, you can probably find a meetup or similar, and go.
There was a board game meetup I went to before the pandemic that had regulars and new people every month. Good way of making friends. I don’t like board games that much, but it was still fun.
There’s a bar near me that runs events from mixers to movie nights to kink stuff. I’ve gone to the mixers and made a handful of friends and acquaintances.
The local library by me does stuff. Lessons, talks, I think they might have book discussion groups.
Stop making excuses. Sitting there going “I don’t like bars. I don’t like board games. The library is too far away. The city is too loud” isn’t helping. You can make excuses for anything to justify not changing, but then you won’t change! You’ll stay just as you are, with opportunities slipping away. No manic pixie dream girl is coming for you. The would-be friend you could make is at the movie night chatting with someone who actually showed up, even though he doesn’t like the genre that much.
If some of the problems are actual blockers, like “I live deep in the suburbs with no public transit and no car”, then cool: that’s your first problem to solve. You’re not really going to get anywhere (no pun intended) without addressing that.
How are those excuses? That’s a reality I live and I can’t change, I’m not trying to lie to you. Also notice how I’m only replying certain people
It’s hard to engage with your problem specifically because I don’t know your specifics. I understand you might not want to share details like where you live.
It feels like just making excuses when someone’s like “find a board game group” and the other person’s like “I don’t like board games”, and dead ends it there. Like, the deep meaning there is to find a group based around a shared activity. It doesn’t have to be that specifically. Board games, bird watching, bike riding, choir, book club, just general mixers for people in the area, kink groups, whatever. There’s a whole world of stuff. It doesn’t feel like you’re making any effort beyond shooting down suggestions.
But, as I said, if the problem is “I don’t have a car or means of getting to where people meet”, then you should fix that first.
I like certain videogames, that’s it. Majority of adults and especially women aren’t into them.
I kind of think you’re trolling. There’s really nothing else in the world you like? Not even food?
If that is true, or at least you believe it to be true, you should probably consider a wider entertainment diet because that doesn’t sound healthy.
There’s a whole world out there. Go try more of it.
I’m not. Yeah, I like food but that’s basic nature. I despise trying to cook.
There are food groups.
There are social groups for other “basic nature” stuff.
Go find something you like.
You asked how to cure loneliness. There’s your answer. Go find stuff to do with other people in person. Stop sad-posting on here.
I wish you understand, we’re going in circles. I don’t like anything and most of the things you say aren’t a thing here.
I found that physical workout classes are very good as long as you show up consistently
I’ve done that before. Not for me.
