Repeat everything the interviewer says back to them in Yosemite Sam’s voice, but punctuate every sentence with “bitch!”
I guess as the applicant, turn around and leave?
As the interviewer, also leave
Also getting naked would do it. Either party.
Would giving a blow job blow the job interview? 🤔
Ever put a task in your todo list or calendar, but forget what it means later?
Todo:
- …
- Blow job interview
- …
You’re hired
But like, you need to do the blow job first
Tell them they can’t afford me
You’d be surprised the number of head hunters you’ll pique the interest of with that line.
They get me on board with the high salary, but the damage I do by not knowing how to do the job is ultimately what they cannot afford.
Hey, I could do that for more!
That’s easy: just say “Allahu akbar” when you get in.
You are applying in Pakistan and get a return “Allahu akbar” in a routinely manner with a straight face.
Continue the interview.
Shit on the table, then yell at them to clean it up.
“You’re exactly what we look for in our middle management positions.”
I can shit on somebody/thing without exposing myself. C suite or better
Tell the truth. Corporate drones hate that more than anything.
Dodge the handshake and go right in for the French kiss.
You are hereby accepted to SexyTimesPorn Co.
How strict is your sexual harassment policy?
Blow job interview, you say?
How strict is your shitting on Debra’s desk policy?
Or flying into the sun?
Sounds like management material to me.
leans in close to the interviewer
“That’s where that smell was coming from.”
“I like you guys. You’re cool. All my other bosses were asshats.”
I’ve actually heard this one in an interview.
“I’m a single parent, so it’s hard to work overtime without notice.”
As you can clearly see I’m white and male. When do I start?
Honestly, this works more often than not.
“Congrats, Mr. President! You’ve won the election!”
I don’t know exactly, I’ll just be myself.
Remind me when i applied for a tech store chain.
“We also mandate workers to recommend extra warranty to customers that ask for advice , how do you feel about this”
“I always try to help people who come to me for advice the very best i can, i would need to see the details of this extended warranty but if i believe it would really serve the customer then of course i will recommend it”
They laughed; i did not get the job.
Always seems to work so far!
Boring perhaps, but just get up and leave.
“This is exactly the kind of confidence we’re looking for in a candidate. You’re hired!”
Always leave em wanting more. Standard.
