This is not an exaggeration. Me and my family (simple Southern Midwest folk) tried driving in New England in the winter and almost fell off the face of the Earth!
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Joined 2 years ago
Cake day: December 26th, 2023
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Chris Hemsworth wearing Batman pajamas is perfect.
I didn’t get the joke, then Wham! It hit me.
Back at the station
Officer: “Forensics just came back, the two pieces are not a match. They belong to two separate victims.”
Grizzled detective: “Mother of god…”
61·2 days agoThe deafening irony of writing all of that on a Volkswagen.
“Hey, what watch is that?”
Me: “American Megatrends.”
“…”
Me: “it’s EnergyStar compliant.”
0·2 days agoIt’s a Japanese vending machine design, and it’s half embedded into the jutting corner of that wall.
“I shall sing for you the song of my people.
…is that a rolled up newspaper?”
They spared no expense.
“What’s wrong with your FAAAAAAACE?!”
Potato skin heads.
I thought this was just a parody account, this is wisdom.
0·3 days agoI teach English in Japan, and I keep it as casual as possible with my students. I always end up saying “See ya!” (I try to use proper English and say “See you.” but it doesn’t always come out that way) at the end of each lesson and that always ends up being the first English my students speak with fluency as a result.
I’ve always got this on my phone:
Thank you for reminding me about Lemon Demon.
Some people vibe with analog, some people vibe with digital.
Admiral Patrick: “That’s a stupid merge request.”
0·4 days agoIs she single?
I read that in Meatwad’s voice.