For context, I’m circumcised and expecting a son and my wife and I are torn about the circ. We’re American so from a cultural standpoint circumcision is the default choice. Thing is, there’s no real benefit besides practicing a religion we don’t believe in, and I’m uncomfortable about cutting the tip of my son’s dick off.
On the other side, I’ve met a guy who was bullied in high school so bad for it he got a circ as an adult. Apparently crazy painful recovery. I’ve also talked to women who are generally grossed out by uncircumcised men. I don’t want to make him feel like something’s wrong with him his whole life because I was uncomfortable with the idea.
From a moral standpoint I’m against it, but from a social and cultural standpoint I feel like I should do it? It’s a crappy situation. If there’s any uncircumcised American men who want to talk about their penis I’m all ears.
Edit: I really appreciate everyone’s responses I never expected to hear from so many people. With the decision hinging on social and cultural norms it’s been really helpful to be able to take the temperature like this. I obviously need to talk to my wife, but given the overwhelming support of dick hats I don’t thing we’re going to do it. Thanks, lemmings!
I’m an intact American man.I have never wished I was circumcised.
I haven’t ever been bullied for it. If I was, I think I’d first accusing the bully of being homosexual for taking an interest as loud as I could. Start calling him Gaylord Cockstarer in mixed company. Find out what hobbies his dad has, start doing that hobby, befriend his dad, tell him this story, see if you can get his dad to start calling him Gaylord Cockstarer.
Women who are grossed out…I’ve had a few hesitate to give me oral, but were willing to try. One, in her own words, wanted to wait until next time so she could “look up how to handle one of these.” And she did, too. To the women who would be disgusted at my intact anatomy, I have one question: What part of your body am I allowed to demand you slice off? Kind of a monstrous thing to think about someone, isn’t it? Why haven’t you cut that part of your body off? If that’s what she thinks of men, she can never deserve any dick.
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No
Yes, I have a sometimes uncomfortably tight foreskin and even asked my doctor about it. In the end, I decided it wasn’t bad enough to warrant the surgery.
Nope. Don’t mutilate your child.
Nope. Heavens no. It’s a feel-good part of the body, hell no.
The only requirement is to keep it clean. Parents shouldn’t shy away from educating your boys about this and have some open conversations about it.
Might as well ask if you wouldn’t mind having one fingertip shaved off at birth, the difference being you’d know what you were missing because you have the other fingers to compare it to.
Unfortunately this is one of those topics that never gets a rational discussion on social media, just a bunch of gut reactions. You’ll need to find your answer elsewhere.
Even to suggest a little contemplation here will get downvoted. Don’t bother. Might as well post “what is capitalism.”
Circ’d here but I’ve struggled with this decision myself. Lucked out in the matter and had girls. Society has changed. Circ rates have recently fallen just below 50% national average (much higher in the Midwest).
If your only reason for considering it is to match his peers, you can have no concerns either way.
That said, I do think people make a much bigger deal about this decision than it really is 99% of the time. You’re going to make thousands of decisions for your kids and most are more impactful than whether they have a penis hat or not. Saw someone here saying circing flat out makes you a bad parent. I don’t expect they are a parent because that’s not the kind of decision that keeps me up at night wondering if I fucked up, you know?
Go with your gut and it’ll be fine.
Never even crossed my mind.
women who are generally grossed out by uncircumcised men
And this must be an American thing, because I haven’t met one and from what I’ve been told, most women find uncirc more attractive.
And as for bullying, in my school, if anything, the circumsised would have been bullied for having “half dicks”. Not that I ever saw anyone be bullied over their dicks, that’s just fucking weird.
No and We would never even see if anyone was circumcised or not in school
I worked in pediatric urology so I’ll give you their perspective first. The urologist’s assistant said the thing to do is assess honestly whether you’ll keep up with your child’s hygiene, if you are comfortable ensuring they’ll clean their foreskin as they grow up. My friend says she really had to stand over her son and tell him to wash his penis again and again. Boys are not the best at hygiene sometimes, so as long as you are comfortable ensuring he does so, don’t circumcise. If you don’t think you’ll be comfortable with that, be realistic, because boys get what’s called phimosis where the foreskin becomes stuck and doesn’t retract, and while there’s a cream called betnovate you can apply to relieve this, if it becomes chronic and there’s scarring, having circumcision as an older child is much more of an ordeal, as they have to go under general anesthesia. These are the pros and cons.
I think circumcision is a bad idea and don’t recommend it myself because I’ve heard a baby crying during one personally and that’s horrifying, but this is what the medical reality of it is, so be honest with yourself about what you can do as a parent. It’s honestly a terrible thing for them to go through without anesthesia as well. Bullying be damned, anyone who is offended by a normal penis isn’t worth your time anyway.
Never
There will always be one kid who will try and find something to bully someone else about.
Not American, not circumcised and I never want to be.
No, of course not. That’s weird.
From a moral standpoint I’m against it, but from a social and cultural standpoint I feel like I should do it?
Id like to answer your question with a few questions to reflect on: If social pressure is enough to make you consider going against your morals here, where is the line? What wouldn’t you compromise on? And in 20 years if he asks you about your decision, what will you tell him?
If you want your child to resent you for mutilating them with unnecessary surgery without their consent, go for it. If you want to be a good parent, don’t.
