Looking for:
- no misogynists (so dbzer0 is out)
- no libertarians, no marxist lenninsts, no tankies, no rightwingers
- people who understand climate change is real
- leftists including anarchists, social democrats, democratic socialists, communists, etc are great
I picked world bc I was told it would have the most activity. Since joining Lemmy I have been repeatedly harassed by men on this instance, threatened with murder and rape by users including open Nazis (this was also happening on Reddit), and permabanned for being a woman, for being a feminist, and for not breaking any rules and posting factual news sources. Would like a better instance.
Have been considering solarpunk Lemmy but willing to consider other instances, just not sure
Eta: I’m looking for a recommendation of an instance, not your personal opinion on my experiences or feelings. If you are not going to give me the name of an instance you’d recommend, don’t comment.
Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/
• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.
• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.
• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.
• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.
Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine
During the early 20th century, women were thought to be unfit for politics as their biology made them prone to hysteria. The suffrage movement became linked to hysteria and mental disorder, due to propaganda from the press and the government (Iglikowski-Broad, 2018). Attempts at militancy in their pursuit for equality were branded as hysteria by anti-suffrage supporters, demonstrating how use of mental health could be used to belittle the efforts of the women at the time (Thompson, 2016).
Hey, how’s dbzer0 sexist???
Shocked at your experience on Lemmy honestly. Particularly perma banned for being a woman?
Solarpunk is good.
Was never banned from here FYI.
Yeah no I checked, not from db0 and not from any comm on this instance either.
I’m just not further engaging here bc well…
Honestly I’d suggest that to you too. Just remove the tagline and don’t engage in any further communication.
Somehow despite all the things said, I still dont think that she’s a troll or even ill meaning. Actually believe she’s got good intentions lol.
Yeah I have removed it. I just don’t understand where all the animosity is coming from in this case. It seems so misdirected. Can’t win 'em all over I guess.
OK so decided to check the modlog. You’ve been banned from 5 different comms on 4 different instances by 5 different mods.
On comms like casual UK and tumblr.
You have two removed posts, one posting us news where it isnt allowed. One being ‘not news’, which is arguable.
And so many removed comments that I can’t even go through it all. Having read a couple they seem fair. I’m sure theres some unfair ones amongst them.
But your behaviour is very reddit like. Please understand that this place is run by the money and effort of the individuals who you are often attacking, the admins. People here also prefer to be chill and not combative unless there’s extreme right wingers. Mild petty internet disagreements are not worth being uncivil about.
You are of course more than welcome here as your heart is clearly in the right place but please understand that people here just want a chill space to be in.
“He does. One is an executive of neuralink. Elon and other billionaires literally want to kill everyone and start their own super human race. They are starting a civil war.”
I despise elon but wouldn’t complain if this was removed for being misinformation.
It’s literally true and I can give news sources for it. Look up Dark Enlightenment.
Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/
• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.
• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.
• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.
• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.
Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine
During the early 20th century, women were thought to be unfit for politics as their biology made them prone to hysteria. The suffrage movement became linked to hysteria and mental disorder, due to propaganda from the press and the government (Iglikowski-Broad, 2018). Attempts at militancy in their pursuit for equality were branded as hysteria by anti-suffrage supporters, demonstrating how use of mental health could be used to belittle the efforts of the women at the time (Thompson, 2016).
https://lemmy.world/post/36969200/19817472
Per the mod that banned me, that is not why I was banned for some of those.
The “US news” was about Elon Musk, a man from South Africa, interfering in global elections worldwide. They claimed it was US only but it wasn’t.
And I am proud to give personal attacks to misogynists, fascists, racists, child predators, and all the other dirtbags on here. That I am trying to avoid future conflict by changing instances is seemingly lost on you - yeah, when people defend themselves and stand up to abusers and the status quo, that creates waves and conflict. That is how we got human rights. I don’t respect attitudes like this.
I do not have 5 accounts. I have this account.
WE THE COMMUNITY make the rules for general behavior, and I will NOT be compliant to the HORRIBLE SHIT I see on Lemmy constantly.
Damn, she got exposed lmao. You’re doing the lord’s work be sharing this with the community, thank you.
Exposed for things I openly talked about in my first comment? Doing the lord’s work for not putting the comments I was responding to? Enlightened centrism supporting the status quo of the patriarchy once again, and women better shut up and get in line, huh?
lmfao please never change
Go away. When women don’t want to be around you, you should respect that. No means no.
non-consensual replies are sexual harassment!
Why would you say that? Would you have said that to a man?
a man has never accused me of raping them for replying to them, like you have in the past, but if they did then yes.
Thanks, @[email protected] , that was so helpful you tagged him here for him to say blatantly misogynistic stuff like this (and no, he would never say this to anyone but women). It was TOTALLY NECESSARY to answer my question of “which instance would you recommend to GET AWAY FROM THESE USERS?”
they didn’t tag me, I specifically followed them to get notifications anytime they post.
Wasn’t my goal honestly. 🤷♂️
Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/
• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.
• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.
• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.
• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.
Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine
During the early 20th century, women were thought to be unfit for politics as their biology made them prone to hysteria. The suffrage movement became linked to hysteria and mental disorder, due to propaganda from the press and the government (Iglikowski-Broad, 2018). Attempts at militancy in their pursuit for equality were branded as hysteria by anti-suffrage supporters, demonstrating how use of mental health could be used to belittle the efforts of the women at the time (Thompson, 2016).
“Lol you aren’t evil, you are just weak minded and unable to perform empathy at an adult level. Asking you to do so created a tantrum. Yes, you are a gender narcissist as I’ve explained. You are sexist, quite transparently. I won’t go away, I have a right to exist here. You can leave if you want, since you have nothing substantial to add. I’d also bite your dick off to watch you writhe so you might want to keep the sweety comment to yourself. I’m not that sweet, professionally so.”
I’m not even looking for bad ones, this is just right upfront. The whole conversation is a mess, not just you.
But both sets of comments were removed not just yours.
Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/
• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.
• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.
• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.
• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.
Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine
During the early 20th century, women were thought to be unfit for politics as their biology made them prone to hysteria. The suffrage movement became linked to hysteria and mental disorder, due to propaganda from the press and the government (Iglikowski-Broad, 2018). Attempts at militancy in their pursuit for equality were branded as hysteria by anti-suffrage supporters, demonstrating how use of mental health could be used to belittle the efforts of the women at the time (Thompson, 2016).
Won’t someone please think of the poor misogynists? Waa. All they are doing is destroying society and killing and enslaving women
Here’s the actual comment chain: https://lemmy.world/post/21749661/13348174
I never said those were the only bans - I simply have a problem with the bans I originally brought up for being a feminist and not breaking rules per the mod who banned me, which is why I want to leave. As in I spoke with the mod and broke down my comment and they were unable to say what rule I’d broken. This wasn’t an invitation to discuss my bans, this was information provided so people can recommend a better fit for me personally.
Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/
• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.
• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.
• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.
• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.
Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine
https://lemmy.world/post/36969200/19817472
Yes, being a feminist was not okay in the early days here. Afaik I was the only person that was openly a woman or feminist for several months when I first joined.
I joined in July 2023 (on my first account on .world) and had nearly the opposite experience. I expect a certain amount of misogny in male dominated online spaces and it’s definitely not sunshine and roses here, as per the occasional trolls who hop into the women’s only community, but my first thoughts were of how little toxicity I saw, compared to other platforms.
That said, I curate my feed, mainly stick to communities I subscribe to, and (usually) disengage when the communication isn’t effective.
Okay, you’ll notice we are different people with different experiences. Do you have an instance you can recommend? Otherwise, this isn’t meant to be a discussion on experiences.
I did comment on the main post. And now I’m choosing to disengage.
Thanks, bye!
https://lemmy.world/post/36969200/19817472
If you look at the second link, a user told me they proudly laugh at me and have pics of my comments as their banner - because I am angry that Project 2025 is killing women, enslaving women, and taking away our rights, and men seemingly do not give a fuck at all. In fact they complain about lack of sex and intimacy and gaslight women telling us to calm down. I will never join that instance if that is considered okay behavior.
This is the relevant link I think: https://lemmy.world/post/32343339/18042041
I totally get that Lemmy and the internet in general (and society in general) isn’t as welcoming for women as it is for men, so I can totally empathize with where you are coming from here.
First, if you want me to remove the site tagline with your quote, I’ll be happy to do so. Just let me know. Adding it really had nothing whatsoever to do with misogyny though - I added it because I [mostly] agree with the sentiment. I definitely enjoyed your hyperbolic turn of phrase. I also thought it would be a good fit with our other taglines. Did I also find it amusing? Yes, gotta admit, but a lot of our taglines get chosen because they are also funny in some way. In this case what was funny (to me) was the hyperbole, not the core message, and not the fact you are a woman. You can choose to believe that or not, of course, but I genuinely wasn’t coming from that place.
Having read through the original thread, I don’t think things went down quite as you have characterized it either. It looks like you accidentally replied to one of our users (@[email protected]) comments instead of replying to the OP. So that’s how you got into the conversation with him in the first place. Then, you got angry with him when he mentioned we had used one of your comments as a tagline, made a bunch of assumptions about the reason why, and then started misgendering him for some reason? The removed comment was “eat shit” btw.
Yes, remove it.
I already posted that link to thr full thread itt multiple times
I did not accidentally respond, I was piggybacking off his comment to bring up my bad experiences with a mod that others were talking about - I was agreeing with him that that mod is an issue. Therefore, the only thing in my comment that would have invoked a hostile response is the content of it that he DOESN’T agree with:
Out of nowhere HE chose to respond with telling me I am “infamous” due to a meme. Learn to read, it was open hostility. Just like he chose to do here in this thread because you tagged him and summoned him, bringing someone who harasses me here (thanks!). Stop giving men the generous interpretation and women the short stick automatically - that is misogyny. This is also why you are unqualified to discuss feminist topics as if you can determine what is and isn’t misogyny.
Last, no. It’s harassment or he wouldn’t say “infamous” about a post criticizing men and their inaction during fascist takeover (stop gaslighting). If he is going to treat women like shit and push the patriarchy, then it can be reflected back at him. You know immediately what wounds fascists by what they police and hate, and it’s fine to use that speech against them - so you can get them to agree that the patriarchy is bad and NO ONE should be enforcing gender roles on others. That’s the point.
I get that this is your attempt to save face though. It doesn’t work to gaslight women who know your stupid lies and tricks. I noticed the lack of apology for the impact of what you did regardless of intent.
https://harpers.org/archive/1941/08/who-goes-nazi/
I accept you experienced it as misogyny. But it looks to me like he only replied to you because you replied to him first. It was hardly “out of nowhere”.
Imo it’s your hyperbolic language that has made you rather infamous around Lemmy. Not the fact you are a woman. And I have no problem with the language you use - a bit of hyperbole often makes the point more impactful.
That’s a hypothetical. Yes, IF he did that then I’d completely agree with you. I just don’t agree with you that’s what happened.
The fact you are slinging words like ‘fascist’ around at _cryptagion tells me either you haven’t bothered to read his post/comment history before making the accusation. He’s one of those antifa types you libs love to hate on.
I do apologize for posting your comment as a tagline, and I have removed it since that’s what you asked me to do. Beyond that I don’t think there’s much to discuss.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DPongiPj2wO/
This is why the misogyny is invisible to you. You’re like the interviewer in this clip, giggling and laughing and unaware. Yanis speaks here about Marxism and how it inherently connects to feminism - sexism in leftist spaces is a major issue. That’s the person you’re defending, and I looked through his account - he doesn’t care about women at all. At least 10 pages deep and he has never said anything to support or help women at all. What a fucking comrade.
I’m leaving Lemmy entirely. It’s genuinely a waste of my time to be here. Thanks for the gaslighting, harassment, and very ignorant takes, and supporting people who covertly threaten rape and sexual harassment and ignore consent.
If db0 is weirdly sexist, I’ll gladly leave this place. I’m 100% a feminist. But I’m not seeing any evidence of this.
OP thinks any reaction to them flipping their shit instantly and constantly is aimed at their gender, instead of them flipping their shit instantly and constantly.
Yeah she seems a little off. I think she posts a little oddly but I don’t think she’s bad because she’s a woman. I think she’s a bit stressed out lately, and understandably so.
Self defense isn’t being “off.”
Being angry isn’t being “off.”
These are reasonable reactions.
You are promoting the idea of hysteria. This is offensive.
Would you like me to find all the comments I was responding to? The ones that promote pedophilia, rape, and subjugation of women? How exactly is the normal way to respond to that? Tell me, oh men, how you want to police my emotions. If only I could be a perfect victim like you.
Do you think Francine Hughes was wrong for setting her abusive husband on fire? The courts found her to be reacting noncriminally to her abuse in a landmark case for women’s rights in the 80s. Do you even know about that case? Or do you think women should ALL be quiet and just put up with abuse from men?
Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/
• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.
• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.
• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.
• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.
Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine
During the early 20th century, women were thought to be unfit for politics as their biology made them prone to hysteria. The suffrage movement became linked to hysteria and mental disorder, due to propaganda from the press and the government (Iglikowski-Broad, 2018). Attempts at militancy in their pursuit for equality were branded as hysteria by anti-suffrage supporters, demonstrating how use of mental health could be used to belittle the efforts of the women at the time (Thompson, 2016).
And this is a very clear example.
Someone disagrees with anything you do or like and you automatically assume they must not know anything and require education on some super basic subjects. So you decide the correct way to convey your viewpoint is with a half page copypasta, stripping out the useful intro and just offering instructions.
You treat everyone like they’re simultaneously some kind of uneducated child and the personification of evil. Perhaps somewhat understandably, people don’t really take well to that.
And now that I see your replies, you also seem to be hyperfocussing on one specific offense to you, pasting to the same reply to numerous, completely different, people and posts. I totally see why you’re getting banned so much, no community wants spammy replies like that.
Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/
• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.
• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.
• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.
• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.
Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine
You do lack education. You do act like an ignorant child. You are causing harm. I do not need to rewrite well established summaries anew for everyone who struggles with the concepts of tone policing and hysteria.
And look in the mirror. Your attitude is worse than mine and you uphold systems of oppression too. Disgusting.
No. Wrong.
This, see below, he says they have a screengrab of my comments.
Please understand completely that misogyny IS gender fascism. I do not give a FUCK about being palatable to ANY fascists. Have you smelled the blood of a woman giving birth? Do you understand what that kind of slavery is like? Do you understand what has been at stake for your mother and every woman for months? Or are you blind and numb to it because it doesn’t involve you?
This sexist rhetoric online and elsewhere has been an issue since Gamergate, it’s pusged by massive 5tth gen warfare networks with MINIMAL pushback, and women were told to pipe down and it’s the boys club - and now abortion rights have been taken away and they are seriously trying to take away the right to vote, the right to divorce, the right to beat and rape your wife (spousal rape was still legal in the 90s). Me insulting people like this is like me insulting blatant genocidal Nazis - which I’ve also done and received raoe and death threats for… because they are all fascists.
Some of us have to stand for something and say something. The reason they squirm and complain is because it works.
Recommended documentaries (trigger warning):