“watch the ficus” - telling somebody to be more careful after they do something clumsy like tripping or nearly dropping something. I used it in front of some friends once and got confused looks. Apparently grandma used to have a potted ficus tree and used to tell me to watch it when I was playing close to it, so it stuck as a saying in the family.

A Dutch one I got from my Oma: “It’s as if the angels upon my tongue have pissed”. It means “yum”.

Not really a saying, but when I was a kid I wanted to learn how to whistle so badly. I was told that if I ate pickles it would help me learn faster? I didn’t eat any, and I still figured it out eventually.

You might already heard this one but I didn’t learn until a relatively recent internet meme that its only here in Norway that something being “complete texas” means its completely chaotic and messy.

Also I’m using “what the fir forest” (“hva i granskauen”) as a replacement for “what the hell” and I have no idea where I’ve picked it up… Nobody else around me do, not even family. Works just as fine though against pain and annoyances.

“Life’s tough. It’s even tougher when you’re stupid.”

-my grandfather quoting a line from a John Wayne movie I think.

“Don’t yuk somebody else’s yum.”

My mom used to tell my brother’s and I to eat vegetables that were longer than they are wide because it’s good for growing an ankle duster.

Fritzlehoffers. As a general term for anything you either don’t know the name of or cant remember. Hand me the fritzlehoffers next to you please.

We have your last example in Croatia, usually told as: “they who don’t have it in the head, have it in the legs”

“Dead meat is hung, live meat is hanged.” Turns out most people’s grandma’s aren’t radical leftist english teachers.

Not a family saying, but my grandad used this joke soooo often:

Q: What’s the difference between a snake in the grass and a goose?

A: A snake in the grass is an asp in the grass, but a grasp in the ass is a goose!

My folks liked to purposefully mix metaphors, so instead of saying “The worm has turned”, they’d say, “The shoe has turned” and “The worm is on the other foot”.

I’m sure there’s an origin somewhere, but since I don’t know it, the call-out for doing something particularly dumb was, “Why don’t you just ram your face into my fist?” (suggesting your stupidity was impressive, but not worth the actual bother of ‘punishing’ you for it, especially given you were probably stupid enough to punish yourself).

DEGUSTIBUSNONESTDISPUTANDUM

not sure I spelled it right, means “regarding personal tastes, there is no dispute”

Also another good one, “moderation in everything, including moderation.”

My mom often used two:

“Useless as tits on a bull” (often referencing her husband, my dad)

And also, “shit fire and save matches”, which I never understood to actually have a meaning, it was more like just an exclamation of surprise.

My mom used to describe a solution to a problem that worked well as “slicker than snot”

Used that phrase in a work meeting once when I was younger and got the most eclectic mix of reactions ranging from, “ think I’m going to vomit” to full on LOLs.

The ketchup effect and the suffering legs are pretty common here and I have heard many use it. Especially the one with the legs is more or less a cliche by now.

The one with the sliding Jesus i have v never heard before!