(If you have anxiety about death then maybe you shouldn’t read this post, just letting you know!)
Edit: Thank you guys for being so quick to post your comments and give your thoughts, it makes me wish I said something sooner rather than dealing with it on my own. You guys are seriously awesome, and have made me want to fight way harder to be a better person for my friends and family, and everyone else around me. I think tonight I’ll finally be able to sleep, and I’m looking forward for tomorrow and to be able to talk to my Dad about how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking about all this, and to spend as much time with him as I can. Take care of yourself guys! And again, thank you so, so much. I seriously feel way better and my anxiety is a lot less now.
Before joining Lemmy I used to be a devoted Christian since my family raised me as one and have been Christians for generations. And to add important context, I’m not talking about judge mental homophobic trump supporting Christians that judge gays and everyone else they see who don’t live the way they live. I’m talking about being a real follower of Christ who loves thy neighbor and knows we have no right to judge, not what most church’s are today who just exist to make a profit. My family are bible based Christians and raised me as one too, not by propaganda machines. (Or at least the propaganda that politicians or “Church’s” who exploit vulnerable people for their money like to spread around. The “buy my book to change your life” or “plant your $1000 seed” type of shenanigans makes me sick.)
Anywhoo, while being on Lemmy and learning a lot about U.S. politics I just have never seen on other social media sites like X and Reddit, and talking about science, capitalism, global warming, and so on and so fourth with the incredible people on here, it has really broaden my view on certain subjects and be a lot more open to a lot more ideas, one of which is Atheism.
I haven’t thought about it too much, but recently my Grandfather died and so my emotions and thoughts have wandered about him and about loosing someone I care a lot about, and then a question popped into my head; is he truly in a “better place”? Do they actually go somewhere? What will happen to my Dad?
After that random thought, my brain has kind of spiraled out of control about this topic and I haven’t been able to sleep well since I’ve been having anxiety thinking about death. What is the point if all of life (our life) is truly just our brains, and our brain stops working? Is it really just, nothingness? What is the point of making all these amazing memories with family and friends that I cherish more than anything in the world, if all these memories are going to be forgotten? Whether its today, or 80 years from now? With this ideology, when I stop breathing, I will quite literally become nothing. There will be nothing. I am dead. It’s made me into this “why should I care” mood about almost everything.
I think I’ve kind of made my anxiety worse during the last few nights since I also decided to look up what its like to die and what scientists have said about the topic, whoops! Turns out our brain can still think 2-15 minutes after our hearts stop beating! I know I’m joking here which I tend to do when I’m in these situations but I have been extremely anxious when it comes to the fear of death. Not in a “I’m scared to use this knife to cut a slice of tomato” kind of way, but a “when we’re gone there will be nothing and I will remember nothing and become nothing” sort of way.
Not trying to get political here, but with this thought in my mind for the last couple of days and hearing about situations like Palestine has made me completely rethink everything like life itself, and now every time I hear about Palestine or Ukraine or whatever else going on in the world, I can’t help but burst into tears.
Sorry for the rant or whatever this is, just asking what you guys think or how you live your life if thats alright. Take care of yourself!
As a living thinking being it’s your own responsibility to think about what’s important to you and what you want from life. Being in your circumstance is outside your control. You could have been born into a kind/cruel family or a fortune/unfortunate one and have an easy/comfortable life but I see it all as luck. If you were born in a different body with certain brain chemistry you’ll think about life in a more carefree or dutiful way. Imagine that for any person you can possibly conceive and potentially any creature or even bacteria that don’t or can’t think in such a considered way.
With all that in mind you’re probably pretty lucky in the circumstances you’re born in and you have been raised to be empathetic or you were naturally inclined to be but if that’s how you are you can choose to continue those values that try to help others to live in a positive way while you still can. Maybe there’s a reward or not. For the conceivable time you’re able to be empathetic and cognizant of your place and privilege maybe you’ll find happiness in knowing helping others can bring comfort and joy to others and in turn yourself. There’s no knowing what is after but choosing to spread decency and altruism within your means can give you comfort that when the time comes (however soon or sudden) you can end knowing you were gifted and gifted a blessing to the other lives you contacted who may also continue in your footsteps.
Make as much art as possible in the little time you have.
If there is"no point" then the point is to do the most good and have the most fun whilst you can.
I work in healthcare and often talk to people and families about the dying process. We tell people that dying is a lot like falling asleep and that hearing is the last sense to go. So even if they aren’t awake and interacting anymore they are still aware of the people around them.
To me, dying is part of life, it’s the big unknown. Everyone dies, you can’t change that. What we can do is accept it and make the best life we can with the time we have. The point is enjoying the now. For me I focus on spending time with my wife and doing what good in the world I can do. I work with dying people a lot and if I can make even a few minutes of their time better I’ve made a difference that was worthwhile.
Thanks a lot for this comment and for what you do! I really needed that. I’ve read a lot about people such as yourself say it’s a lot like falling asleep, and thats almost made me afraid to fall asleep. I hope its not selfish to think this way, I just don’t want to lose all of my memories and experiences I’ve had with my family and all of these other amazing people in my life
Mortality is a hard thing to get your head around. Try to not let it take over and keep doing the things you enjoy. Talk to some friends about it all. That should help get some perspectives. Don’t be afraid of going to sleep. Sleep is cozy and good for you.
First off, it’s ok to be in this mental state - it’s nothing to be ashamed of or angry at, as uncomfortable as it is. Because ultimately, thinking about each and everyone’s “purpose” is is not a bad thing per se. It’s what helped me branch out and starting an apprenticeship in something I wasn’t sure I’d be fit for after stumbling around in university and not knowing what to do with my life.
That said, I think life is about creating heaven on earth as far and much as possible. All your good deeds don’t go unnoticed and don’t go away if you die. It’s about making something meaningful and special, be it to you or to others.
Who cares if there even is an afterlife. You can just exist in the here and now and make the best of it. Granted, a lot of things are going south right now, but it’s the thought that counts.
Re-unite with family with whom you’ve not been in touch for a while, meet new friends, experience new things, be a good friend. All of these things generate value either for you or for others and these are the things that count in the long term.
But also don’t feel bad if you don’t live up to your expectations every single day. It’s ok to take time off, to focus on yourself and not sacrifice your well-being for others all the time.
Not sure if any of this helps, but it’s what’s helping/helped me and these were my thoughts in regards to this subject. Lots of love - get better soon 💜
Thank you so much!
I really like Camus’ approach to these questions. Life is meaningless, the world is absurd, nothing matters in the end.
So, basically, try to find your meaning in life and enjoy it while it lasts. Because as far as we know, it’s our one shot at life and it’s pretty much one and done.I’ve recently discovered that a lot of my feelings and beliefs about life are summed up quite well by the Humanist movement. I’ve never been religious, and while I’m perfectly fine with people having faith, I very strongly believe that a life without should be the default view and stance on everything, especially state and education.
Religions can control nearly every aspect of life, be it gender, behaviour, what you’re allowed to study etc. Now you are in a position to capitalise on your new found freedom.
Seek out art, philosophy, science, music. Things that show beauty and creativity of the human mind. See what others think.
Use that knowledge to grow, and to help others in any way that you can. Life might be fleeting but you can use that time to try and improve the lives of this and subsequent generations. Make a difference.
Think for yourself, act for everyone.
Think for yourself, act for everyone.
I’ll be sure to have these words with me forever, thanks a ton!
I don’t believe in heaven or hell, but nature is even more beautiful than that, in my opinion. The Earth is pretty much a closed system, which means that all energy just passes from one form to another. When you die you eventually become part of earth, which nourishes other beings, and carries you on forever. You’re likely breathing some of the same air that your ancestors breathed, or a transformation thereof.
If there is no after life what is the point of living
I think you’ve got this backwards, it’s because there’s no after life that life is even more meaningful. Its the only experience you’ve ever known and likely will ever know so make the best of it. Do what you want. Leave the world a better place than you found it. Adopt an orphaned child. Build a house for a homeless person. Climb a mountain. Go skydiving. There is so much you can do and so little time to do it relative to our lifetimes.
It’s ultimately up to oneself to decide these things for oneself, but there is literature on the topic. Part of it you can just frame like the stories themselves: Is it worthwhile to read or watch a story unfold, rather than just read a summary? Is there any point to anything that ends? You know a good meal with your loved ones is going to end before you sit down—but you still choose the meal over going hungry and alone. Because the experience has value even if it ends. Some experiences are even valuable because they only existed a brief moment in time.
There are, ultimately, some stories that are so mired in despair and suffering that anyone would close the book early, but most of the stories are kind of trudging along, with their own motivations, hopes, fears and joys.
To quote another work on the topic: One must imagine Sisyphus happy.
Thank you!
I would flip the question. If there is a heaven or afterlife, then what is the point of living? Really, what’s the point if you just get another awesome life later on? Is this all meaningless aside from proving to God that you will praise him?
Without an afterlife, then the life right now takes on so much more weight and importance, because it’s all you get.
To me, it was about carrying all of those amazing moments in life you cherish so deeply and bringing them with you to the afterlife. If it does exist who knows what will happen over there, but my fear is not that I’ll just lose touch, sense, sight or smell. But that I’ll lose all of my memories and experiences with my close friends and family that I hold so close and cherish more than anything. When I die, I want to remember my Dad and everything we’ve done together for eternity. It sounds weird, but that was just my way of thinking
Maybe you’ll enjoy my point of view about this. I’m atheist, I do believe there’s nothing for us after death.
What I like to imagine though is that through our lives, we’re weaving this tapestry with everything that we’re doing, and every hug and good moment is permanently on there. Time is a dimension we’re moving forward in but that doesn’t make the past stop to exist. Does that make sense?
Like after all is finished, all your memories and good events are still on there, in a tapestry we’re not able to perceive but still real and permanent.
I use tapestry because I imagine if we’re moving through time as a dimension, in a way we’re kinda a long tube of human person extending from our birth to our death and mixing with other beings in time.
I love this idea! New life goal: to weave joy and love into the universal tapestry as much as possible.
“It was a musical thing. You were supposed to sing, or dance, while the music was being played.” -Alan Watts
That’s the clearest I’ve heard it proposed so far, so I’m sticking with that.
You are having what’s called a crisis of faith and an existential crisis. Don’t worry, millions of people have been through this ahead of you and come out the other side.
With this ideology, when I stop breathing, I will quite literally become nothing. There will be nothing. I am dead.
I know. I’m sorry. If it helps, I’ll be the same way too. We’re all in this boat together. It’s fucking terrifying. It’s really pitch black after. Same way as it was before you were born. But we don’t remember that, so it doesn’t help.
It’s made me lose sleep a lot too and I often wondered what I’m meant to achieve in lieu of devotion to God to make it all mean something or make it all worthwhile.
Each their own master, no universal judgement, and we all “go” to the same “place”.
Beyond that, there’s no ties that bind us in common goals or purpose, some guy on the street - he could do literally anything and you’ll both be dead same way one day. CCTV isn’t religion, and police isn’t god, he has nothing to fear and I’ve everything to lose. It’s scary.
Kinda wish I could be Christian honestly but unfortunately as far as I can tell, I am very literally incapable of faith.
I’ve not solved my anxiety about death, I don’t think I can, but I’ve made a lot of progress.
Even without God, there are things I believe in, that matter to me. Why? I don’t really know. I suppose I’m just genetically destined, wired to be that way by chance, but it feels ‘right’ to believe in these things.
I believe in the maximisation of happiness as a good thing, I want people to be happier and suffer less, and I want to do well unto others and myself in those terms.
From pushing egalitarian politics where I can to looking after myself and my loved ones and being kind and showing solidarity to others, and obviously not harming them. That’s not meaning maybe, but it’s purpose. Still basically Christian ethics, too.
Perhaps I won’t be rewarded, but such is the reality of the mortal coil, I have to believe that at least I’ve lived such that the first sunrise I’ll never see won’t be any dimmer by my hand than the ones that greeted me on this earth. Maybe even brighter.
If that makes their day better, even as just one brick on the road towards oblivion, that’s gotta count for something, right?
Maybe that’s a reward in and of itself. Even if I won’t remember anything, others will remember something.
Maybe that’s enough.
Even while I lose sleep over the thought of pitch black too, talking about it to these amazing people including you have really helped me, so thank you for your comment! People like you and what you have said make me want to do more for “brighter tomorrows” for other people. I’ve learned by reading what people here on this post had to say that yes, it is worth it. Even if it’s just one brick on the road towards oblivion! Take care of yourself LainTrain, and again, thank you
If there’s no sequel to a movie, what’s the point of watching it?
/thread
If there is an after life. What is the point of after life?
Because there’s an after-after life as well