Today’s weather forecast (Melbourne CBD, 3000): min - 22°C, max - 27°C. 25% chance of at least 20mm rain
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I proposed a Canberra trip to my aunt and she said maybe. One state / territory every year and they will all be ticked off in five years.
Canberra has a Costco and Aldi next to the runway.
I will go🙋 it’s on the list.
Sky pretty
I need to stay awake for at least another hour. Going back to work tomorrow is a terrible, terrible idea, but I’m great at those.
Who’s got some great dad jokes for me??
A young moth was going out into the world for the first time. When he came back, his dad asked him how it was.
“It went really well, dad”, said the young moth. “Everyone was clapping for me everywhere I went!”
Reminds me of another moth joke …
A moth goes into a podiatrist’s office, and the podiatrist’s office says, “What seems to be the problem, moth?”
The moth says “What’s the problem? Where do I begin, man? I go to work for Gregory Illinivich, and all day long I work. Honestly doc, I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I don’t even know if Gregory Illinivich knows. He only knows that he has power over me, and that seems to bring him happiness. But I don’t know, I wake up in a malaise, and I walk here and there… at night I…I sometimes wake up and I turn to some old lady in my bed that’s on my arm. A lady that I once loved, doc. I don’t know where to turn to. My youngest, Alexendria, she fell in the…in the cold of last year. The cold took her down, as it did many of us. And my other boy, and this is the hardest pill to swallow, doc. My other boy, Gregarro Ivinalititavitch… I no longer love him. As much as it pains me to say, when I look in his eyes, all I see is the same cowardice that I… that I catch when I take a glimpse of my own face in the mirror. If only I wasn’t such a coward, then perhaps…perhaps I could bring myself to reach over to that cocked and loaded gun that lays on the bedside behind me and end this hellish facade once and for all…Doc, sometimes I feel like a spider, even though I’m a moth, just barely hanging on to my web with an everlasting fire underneath me. I’m not feeling good. And so the doctor says, “Moth, man, you’re troubled. But you should be seeing a psychiatrist. Why on earth did you come here?”
And the moth says, “‘Cause the light was on
SO good, thank you!
I don’t have a dad joke but this made me laugh
That actually made me laugh out loud and feel it on a personal level, I love it.
I shared this one here the other day. I think it’s my favourite of all time.
The screams slay me every time 😂😂
The screams, the silence, oh shit, holy fuck! 🤣
What's another name for a snail?
A booger with a crash helmet.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
Looks like it’s going to be a good one. Send her down, Huey!
I’ve got the tennis on in the background while making dinner and all I hear from the kitchen is loud grunting and yelling. I’m doing my best imitation of it.
It’s dark now. Considering putting on the lights… Loving the thunder.
omg, this is the cutest https://www.reddit.com/r/Awww/comments/1hzf1xo/illegally_smol_doggo/
Skies darkening with thunder. It’s about to go down. A rainy indoor day is just what the doctor ordered too.
Go go team Australia!
🏏
It finally happened. Had to pull a floater out of the bath last night. Can’t believe it took nearly 2 years to happen.
Honestly cat shit is far far worse than anything a small child can produce.
I have a cat, and prefer cat shit over human shit tbh. I never gag cleaning up cat shit or anything, but human? “No way, get fucked, fuck off” 😂
How big we talking?
Decent!
Noice Tinyboy. Better in the bath than on the carpet.
little kids can do surprisingly big poops …lol
I am so grateful Miss Seagoon never did anything like that. she was such an easy kid
Same. You hear of kids finger painting the walls. Lol
you hear of adults finger painting the walls of Congress n/k
Bucketed on me and my friends head as soon as we set up chess pieces in the park. Then had to help her calm down to drive for the first time in rain, and it was severe with flooding streets etc. escalated quite quickly! I’m home safe now but the streets were fucked. Friend confident getting herself home after a pep talk
Everything is making me angry and sad, I’ve been trying to work out why as I recognise it’s irrational.
Turns out, it’s just my stupid uterus making itself the centre of attention again 🙄 such an attention seeker, it would fit right in with a mean girl clique lol
I just ate 3 of those cadbury popping candy elf things. I don’t even like popping candy, so I guess I’ll be joining you at the mean girl club tomorrow.
Oooo we can be fat and sassy together
damn I hated the hormone roller coaster of emotions, don’t miss the tears for absolutely no reason
but I miss the extra bit of fire hormones gave me
I just teared up before because I’m so over these carpet moths. I think I got them, and then I find more 🙄
My home smells like vinegar lol
And I cannot wait til I get menopause and after, this shit is so damn annoying 😂
They briefly came back for me too. I think they’re getting in via dry goods from the supermarket so I’m going to go back to putting that stuff in the freezer for a bit when it arrives to kill any eggs.
And I bought more snap shut plastic containers (though that’s not always moth proof)
I find vacuuming the carpets to get any eggs helps the most of everything after that
My big vacuum is farked, it started smelling like burning plastic. So I’ve been charging the small handheld one and going room by room. It’s hard because the carpet is very thick and woolly - I’m just mentally struggling with it all I’m sorry 😔
Nooo I didn’t mean it like that. :(
I’m also struggling hugely with vacuuming because of the noise and the energy. Was just saying that it seemed to work more than the vinegar
Oh yeah! I didn’t take it the wrong way! Promise! I’m on the rag so my mood is all over, hence the apology - it was in advance in case my text sounded weird!
Thank you for the tips, truly! You know much more about how to keep a home safe and clean, and I just really admire you. Any tips you have are always welcome promise!!!
My posts make me sound clean but I’m just scrambling to dig myself out of a hole… and only posting the clean parts
You should see this dump
Sky pretty
I’m going to do so little work tomorrow lol
It was nice having a holiday. My probation is up in 10 days.
Yeeha.
🍻
We went to the Diamond Valley miniature railway today for a birthday party. It’s huge compared to Box Hill.
Fortunately we got the last ride out of the way before the rain came down and just had to do the rain under the gazebo whilst it really bucketed down. A memorable end to a great party
I used to go there as I kid, I love that it’s still going strong. I think they’re all amazing volunteers who run it.
