Lucky for me my parents were both “I didn’t save anything for retirement, my kids will take care of me when I’m older”, so I don’t have to suffer through this.
Haha, that was long spent before I was out of grade school.
This is fucking dumb. I told my parents to spend it up. I’m not entitled to it
Most money passes through generations that’s why it is real money.
But people do as they please
You’re entitled to something. The world is cruel but it brought you in. People can’t be like, “fuck these kids to life and let them die in a ditch.”
They can totally can say that as its there money. If they want to hand off any of there remaining assets to charity or the sate they totally can.
So my parents owe me their money because they burdened me with life? That’s an… interesting take.
You are very much a consequence of their actions, and to not acknowledge the duty of care that brings is neglect, in it’s way.
If you were to breed puppies and then cast them out onto the street to fend for themselves, or stop feeding them, as soon as you were bored of them that would be considered cruel.
I actually agree with you that they do not owe you their money, but that comes from my privilege of being able to survive comfortably without it.
It seems that our position in this particular argument is mainly supported by our own positions in life, so your mileage may vary on this one!
Yeah I find it a little funny that people complain about generational wealth and then complain about not getting an inheritance.
Do you live in a country where every young adult is given a free home automatically?
Getting an inheritance is generational wealth. How come generational wealth is ok but only if I’m the one receiving it?
Your question seems like a strawman. My comment was only about the apparent conflict between the two stances and I was not trying to make any comment about whether one or the other is the correct way.
My parents worked hard all their lives and have had very little to show for it. As much as I didn’t realise it at the time, I never really wanted for anything, but I’m sure my parents skipped meals on occasion.
Now they’re retired they have a bit of money from state pension and superannuation funds, as well as a bit my mum inherited from her parents. It’s still not a lot, but they’re able to live in the comparative luxury they always deserved.
A couple of year back they splurged and took a trip to the UK, which had been on their bucket lists since before I was born. They seemed to feel like they had to explain why they were spending the money, and I reassured them that it was their money, not mine.
My wife and I are in good, stable jobs and we don’t need their cash. Let them enjoy themselves while they still can.
I think pretty much everyone agrees with your take here. People are just saying that if kids are struggling and parents can afford it, it’s weird for the parents not to help out financially.
Obviously the circumstances matter and if the kid is struggling because they’re lazy or a drug addict you don’t want to enable that but if they have their own kids and are working full time I would always support my kids financially if they needed that and I was able to.
Obviously the circumstances matter and if the kid is struggling because they’re lazy or a drug addict
Trying to explain to a guy with chronic back pain that the relief he’s seeking is self-indulgent and the time he’s spending plotting the death of a CEO could be better spent building a new kind of online gambling website.
if the kid is struggling because they’re lazy
We’re talking about 40 year olds.
And what a convenient excuse to call anyone struggling lazy. So many lazy people with full time jobs that don’t pay enough to pay boomers their inflated rents. Must be drugs.
Yes… That is their money. They should spend and enjoy it.
Probably the rest of us won’t last much longer than them now anyway.
They also voted for Bush II’s wars with money borrowed from a generation that couldn’t vote yet.
I’m just thinking about my own experience, but my parents are blue collar Democrats, so no they didn’t. They just worked hard their whole lives and are enjoying their well earned retirement.
Boomers are a large group of people, hence the name, from diversified backgrounds. I believe people are trying to start a generational war where we need a proper class war.
I wouldn’t go that far, but I see little evidence that young people deserve it more.
Lemmy seems to be pretty mad about their allowance, basically. It’s weird, usually the vibe is more that everyone else works at a FAANG.
Honestly, my mother, born 1961, received $250K in 2000 when my great grandparents passed. my grandmother, has always bought things for my mom: cars, car repairs, her insurance, grocery shopping, and a few vacations over the years.
My mother has not so much as ever taken me shopping, not even when I was a kid. My other parent, the broke one, bought us everything. My mom, did stretch her inheritance pretty far, but only because her parents helped her out with month to month stuff. It annoys me to no end.
She’s spent the last 15 years convincing my grandmother, her mom, to spend it all. And she has. For me, two generations ago my great grandparents (second Gen immigrant) had accumulated over a million dollars in straight cash.
I’ll get nothing. If my family actually had love there- if my mother actually took care of me and her other children, I wouldn’t be mad, id understand. That’s not how it went down. My mom spent every, has nothing but a new car left now, the last thing my grandmother bought her, the inheritance gone and she’s now a part time babysitter, after not working 30 years. She was on disability too, this whole time, my entire youth, for get this- mental health. I got to therapy every week still to this day to address my childhood and continued struggles, the same as she did, but she got disability in the 90s when everyone could sign on easily it seems. Her whole life paid for.
I haven’t spoken to her in closet to 7, 8 years now. I can’t imagine my story is unique when it comes to the subject.
My husbands parents are the opposite of my mother, both types of people exist but it’s infuriating to go through what I have with my family. To literally watch your “generational wealth” get flushed.
That is their money.
In 2022, 65% of people ages 65 to 74 had debt, up from 50% in 1989. In 2022, 53% of households headed by someone 75 or older had debt, compared to 32% in 1992.
In fairness, this article is pure bait. It neglected the rising cost of living for people on fixed incomes and treats these draw downs on savings as a frivolity, rather than a consequence of inflation on senior care and medical needs.
But liquidating household assets via instruments like reverse mortgages and loans against large savings accounts and pensions can mean saddling your children and grandchildren with big debts even after you’re gone.
Yeah, the money is mostly spent on medical care, getting scammed and retirement homes. Capitalism is making sure all that money goes to the 1% before it ever gets to you.
It’s not their money. It’s rent money they stole from the next generations by being parasites hoarding property as an investment.
And you have the option to do the same, or you don’t, its up to you
You’re right, oblivious rich 20 year old. Everyone can be a landlord.
Oblivious .ml account
Yeah… How entitled are you? Do you NEED your parents money to get by? I barely make enough to afford rent and yet I still don’t ask my parents for shit. I love them will all my heart and they make good money.
But it’s money they earned, they are not obligated to give it to their kids.
And for those of you who are about to tell me “that’s not the point”, yes it is the fucking point. Your material worth is based on what YOU do to make ends meet. Your parents already lived through what we’re going through now.
Oh and also: I GUARANTEE 90% of you are going going to do the exact same thing when YOUR KIDS ask “Mom/Dad can you buy me a car”.
Of course not! You can barely buy your own car, let alone buy one for your kids and then THEY are gonna post the exact same thing about you on the internet. Because YOU didn’t save YOUR money. Instead you spent $50 a month on your monthly services like Hulu, Netflix, Crunchyroll, Disney+, also your Pandora, Spotify, Apple Music, and any other goods/services your spending your cash on.
You could, instead put that $50 a month and any extra money into your savings and by the time you retire, you would too would have money to spend. And if you raised your kids right, they would do the same thing instead of relying on OUR hard earned money.
So get the fuck off your high horse and start saving your money.
Obviously parents are entitled to spend their own money but generally if kids are struggling parents want to help.
Your post makes it sound like the current young working generation has the same lived experience as people who are retired. That’s just not the case at all. It’s much harder for the average person to save up money and buy a house now than it was in the past.
Do you NEED your parents money to get by?
For most people the answer is… Yes, to live the the same standard. This generation barely affording one car while the previous generation had multiple…
I don’t know what you think 50$ a month compounds to, but I’ve done the math and I’ll need to put away 7-800 per month to save enough to cover rent/food for a reasonable amount of time 40 years from now.
Sounds pretty selfish to have your kids in debt instead of using the wealth you’ve accrued to avoid your family paying interest to the bank. Pretty dumb way to hamstring your family’s ability to accrue generational wealth. Like damn I guess you actively dislike your kids and grandkids.
I make less than $18 per hour and I can still afford rent without roommates, buying my own car, buying my own food and STILL afford my own monthly services.
Is it cheap? Of course not. Am I saving money? Barely. But here’s the thing you’re not considering:
In about 20 years When all the Boomer/Z generations are retired and not working to earn money, where do you think all that money is going to be? If you think they will have all the money while our generation is running the government, then you sir/ma’am lack foresight into the future.
The money isn’t going to magically disappear, it will still be there and you will still be working to earn your fair share. It isn’t going anywhere.
Save your money now, so you don’t have to ask your parents for money later.
TLDR: Grow up and quit relying on your parents for everything. There’s a reason we become “adults” when we turn 18.
where do you think all that money is going to be
On the books of corporations, who will continue to fight tooth and nail to frustrate worker attempts to “earn their fair share”
Good job lucking into a low cost of living area. Check how much margin you could have moving to a higher col area to get a higher paying job. You might be able to contribute less to savings! Very lateral.
I worked and rented from the time I was 18, and took on debt to be able to eat. This is instead of living with my parents who were and continue to be over housed, or attending college to get a higher paying job sooner.
I will not be surprised if they cash out, hand the asset to a corp, and go ahead and burn the money on luxuries they don’t really care about.
Corps design their services to exploit their customers. Banking, transportation, housing, all of them. If you are old enough to retire and you are still dancing to that same marketing jingle y’all got some problems.
Once again. They earned that money themselves. You can’t blame our parents on what million dollars corporations are making. Out parents are not all part of the 1%, they earned their living just as much as you need to earn your own. If you want more money, get a better job, or start your own business. We have the resources necessary to do just that, right at our fingertips, literally.
It’s the amount of effort your putting in that makes a difference. But please, go ahead and keep living off your parents income. Might as well move back in and live in their basement too, so you can spend all your time on the internet, squalling over how much your parents are not giving you money.
Oh and by the way, just remember that when you were a kid, they bought your clothes, they paid your rent, they bought your food, and they paid for your schooling. And you have the audacity to ask them for more.
You can’t blame our parents on what million dollars corporations are making.
I forgot they have no choice about what products they buy or who they voted for for the last decades.
keep living off
If you could read, I never have. If I was able to take advantage of things they had and did not utilise, like spare rooms, I would have a higher level of income and savings right now.
I did not have a choice to do better things, they had the choice to provide or deny these things.
when you were a kid,
They did the minimum needed to stay out of jail. Neglecting children you choose to keep is a crime.
And yet, you’re still here. Your still alive. If you’re not living off your parents income and yet believe your obligated to some of that money, you’re part of the problem. Where do you think that money comes from?
The only thing your proving to me right now is that you don’t want to put in the effort to make more money.
And just an FYI: there are people in our generation that DO make a decent living, working good paying jobs, and NOT living off thier parents money. And do you know what they’re doing right now? I’ll tell you what, they’re NOT bitching about wanting their parents money, because they have the skills necessary to get it themselves.
You tell me congratulations on living in low income? It wasn’t that hard, a simple Google search is all it takes to find out where the low income housing is. And although I DO live in low income housing, I pay full price for it, because I make too much money. Let me reiterate that: $18 an hour is too much money to qualify for low income housing. But, my apartment is a studio that is about 35x35 sqf. You’re damn right it’s cheap, because I don’t need a 4 bedroom 3 bath house to get by. I get by just fine living with my cat. I put my money into my 401K just like my parents did, and guess what? It worked out for them, and they lived during the Great Recession. They lived a life just as hard as yours.
Look, I’m not saying there aren’t greedy, shity parents out there who don’t give a damn about their childrens future. They obviously exist.
But blaming an entire generation(s) on the problems of ours is not going to fix said problems. They aren’t going to give us the money, no matter how much we beg, just like their parents didn’t do for them. The only thing we can do is stop looking at the past, and focus on the future.
I know it looks bleak and the grass is always greener on the other side, but the world is not going to end because our parents decided to splurge on themselves. There are 3rd world countries out there that make even less than any of us do, and they’re surviving. What right do you have to ask someone else for money if you aren’t willing to earn it yourself?
I make great money, around 90k, probably 95 next year. I put over 500$/month to my RRSP.
I wasted a ton of money on the way here. A utilitarian solution would have been, don’t waste that money.
It’s not about entitlement, it’s about being smart. My kids, nieces and nephews will have savings from an early age and will not waste money paying interest if I play my cards right. I think it’s my responsibility to make sure the resources we have are utilised in the best way, being I want all of us to be happy and successful.
Parents say they want their children to be successful, it’s a clown choice to do nothing to support that when there’s the option to do something.
I never really considered an inheritance an option. Seems so off-worldly to me, even though I am by no means from a poor family, just lower middle class.
I think the entire concept of inheritance is something more prominent in developing countries like US or India, where there isn’t a well-established safety nets already in place by the government itself.
Of course we have inheritances too, I know a few who got something, but most of it gets taxed away upon receiving or vanishes covering the deceased’s debts, so I’ve never heard anyone I know get anything other than maybe a weekend vacation in the city next over or maybe a small chunk of student debt away.
Then again I’m not very well-off, and I do know there are the upper class families that have a long standing generational wealth passing over to the new generations. I guess it really depends on the circles one’s in.
But I still think it’s not as common here, at least I’ve never considered it to be normal, and I’ve known well people from upper middle class too.
I am with you I never considered that an option and I don’t want to think about it either. But I do think our parents gets/got a lot (depending on how our grandparents lived) more than we will. My grandparents left house and money and even a vacation house so my parents could put the sould houses and furnitures money into building their own house. My mom even gave me and my sister a bit to use to buy our first apartments. It is still money even tho it is pretty sad way to “earn” money… I assume your friends parents lived in rented apartments if there was not much left.
Many people inherit a house or a flat
So I had a relative who passed, but saw it coming and tried to make some moves to make sure his only son was set up to take care of his wife, because his wife had never really had to “be an adult” and went her entire life without handling any bills or finances or anything. So when he passed at least his middle aged son would be there to handle things including their house.
So he died and sure enough, she couldn’t handle independent living. So they decided to sell the house and she’d move in with another relative. So the rest of us are thinking “oh good, at least they cashed out in this crazy high real estate market to have a bit of a cushion”.
However, no one thought about how little the middle aged son had to worry about things like housing and stuff. He never had to buy or rent a house, he had a hand me down trailer parked on a relatives land. He always had a used car gifted to him by and other relative getting rid of it. So he had no idea what he was doing either, thought a seller’s agent was a scam to take their money, and they ended up selling the whole house and land for about $50k before any one else had any idea that they were even thinking of selling.
As well liked as he is, so much frustration when everyone has to take on a burden to help them and they make such a huge mistake that could have made things so much easier.
Interesting to have a relatively large family to see all the scenarios play out. Also have a relative that is spending all his money and is mortgaged to his eyes, and another relative who lived like a pauper who turned out to have a couple million in liquidity in her 80s because she wanted her kid to be surprised when they got hit with a big inheritance.
Unless they’re the sole recipient of a will (doesn’t seem very common), at least here those are almost always liquified and proceeds split according to the will. Doesn’t amount to much usually, though it might be different in countries that have very large and expensive cities.
People used to buy land and build a house on it and that was the inheritance. It could then be cut into smaller parcels and new homes built for the kids if they stayed close.
And of course if you were wealthy it was businesses and trust funds which still occurs a lot these days.The middle class was partially stripped of its wealth by each generation giving less to the next
I’m from US and I re-read “developing countries like us or India” like 3 times and then I realized that you’re absolutely right.
I was sexually/otherwise abused by my mother for most of my life. When I brought it up to family, I was basically told to shut up about it/“go to therapy.” They spent thousands torturing me in troubled teen facilities, and provided me with nothing for college (which I paid for with multiple jobs and sex work.)
I will never own a house. I spent almost two years after my divorce to just be able to afford an apartment. My family has never valued me - I will not give them the comfort they denied when it is the end. My entire life has been a hell.
Ouch. I’m sorry to hear that. Wish I could offer you better help than, condolences and understanding from the other side of the internet.
My family tells me “write a book then I will read it” and I just keep thinking:
Assholes, maybe instead just listen to me when I tell my stories you want to ignore so badly.
They couldn’t even be bothered to spend thousands on me though and more than once in my life I have just been dropped off at street corners with hopes that I would disappear from their lives.It sucks. While I may not know you, I know similar pain and know it’s never easy. I hope you find comforts in the little things around you.
You could tell them instead of writing it to us
Let me tell you, as someone with potentially a bit of wealth to give out when I kick the bucket, every week with my kids I get this idea at least once. In some ways, it’s the last bit of power we have until becoming of unsound mind. I’m hoping they’ll grow out of making me feel that.
Stark self sufficiency and individualism is their philosophy. Too bad they forgot what their parents gave them so they could reach that point. Including the political atmosphere of unions and good paying jobs.
My mom is “choosing” to spend it at a retirement home because we can’t have her live with us and my brother is an asshole. And honestly, I’d rather have her spend her last years in comfort (we won’t even be in the same country) than get some windfall when she dies.
Retirement homes aren’t cheap. She’s in her early 80s, but both of her parents lived until their 90s, so I’m guessing there won’t be much of any inheritance left over.
My mother told my wife that if my father passes away first, she wants to go live in a home, not with us or my brothers (great, because I do not think her living with us would go very well). But of course the unspoken question was, “Is there money for that?” Given we just gave them money to fix their HVAC, I doubt it. So is the plan that my siblings and I are going to pay for it? It’d be nice to know so that we could plan…
And, of course, Medicare does not cover assisted living. My mom is not fabulously wealthy, but it sounds like she’ll have enough to make it. Good luck to your parents.
Reading this thread, I feel like having a nice rant:
“Waah, all our problems are caused by the boomers! They’re all rich and selfish, they had the easy life and got all the money and the houses and ruined the environment while our lives were ruined!” Keep believing that and stay distracted! while the oligarchy laughs it’s ass off at you.
Pay no attention to all those poor boomers who could never get a house, who are scraping to get by–those are the exceptions that prove the rule, they must have been especially lazy or stupid boomers, if they’re not rich like the vast majority of boomers! Yeah, that’s it.
Pay no attention to the corporations that have bought up all the housing so they can rent it to you at any price they like, that has nothing to do with housing costs–it’s the boomers who were too selfish to leave you their house when they died who are to blame! Yeah, that’s it.
Pay no attention to the oil companies and big corporations that control congress to keep their profits private and costs socialized so they can spew their effluent into the environment as the world burns and the ice caps melt, it’s the boomers’ fault! Boomers only started the environmental movement and demonstrated and pressured the government into creating the EPA, Clean Air Act, and many more, but so what, all the bad things are still their fault.
Stay distracted! Keep believing what you’re told and blaming who you’re told to blame as you get older and older and the boomers all die, and then enjoy how Gen B and Gen C, etc. hate you and rail against you and blame you for all their problems. Why didn’t you–yes you! stop global warming? You could have, but you didn’t give a fuck. You who had it so easy, living your selfish life with your fresh water and electricity and air conditioning and video games and all those nice things, while their lives were ruined? It’s all your fault!
Never the oligarchs, though. Not them.
[I can also do another version of this for the right wingers, substituting immigrants for boomers].
Yeah, I know of plenty of boomers that have had to delay retirement because they simply didn’t have enough money. I’ve known several that finally retired, late, then passed away a few months later. Never got the chance to enjoy retirement at all.
My parents were working part time jobs, instead of relaxing and enjoying retirement, until a few years ago. Those jobs were having obvious effects on their health and well-being, too; I was convinced at least one of them was going to pass away before long. Fortunately, they’re now in a position now where at least they don’t have to work - but my brothers and I sent them money to replace their HVAC system when it died a few months ago, so it’s not like they’re rolling in dough or will leave us some huge inheritance.
How much would it suck to get to 70 and realize you still have to keep working? I mean, if you enjoy it and want to keep working, great, go for it. But to be forced to do it? That would suck. It doesn’t matter what generation you are.
millennials may miss out
Love how that title makes it sound millennials are somehow to blame
I don’t see that. To me it reads as guilt tripping the parents for wanting to spend the money they themselves earned.
Indeed, OP is a stupid take. For all the shit boomers pulled off with this planet, spending their own money is a good thing.
Yeah they should be allowed to burn everything they ever touched and take it with them when they go. Or maybe we even build giant stone triangles for them and put all their stuff in there with them.
Them getting to spend all the money scraped from the rest of the world and leaving a bleaker version behind us so justified. They put in all that effort and who cares about next generations anyways.
Common phrase of course:
“Cut down all the trees you planted in life so that nobody but you can ever sit beneath it’s shade.”I don’t think you understand what “spending money” means. It’s a good thing because one of the bigger problems in today’s world is wealth-hoarding - accumulated wealth grows and when it’s spent, it actually helps the economy, by people earning money from the services / manufactured products bought.
Unfortunately, in the USA, spending money usually means handing it over to the ultra wealth hoarders
How? “Missing out” means you’re the one who is negatively impacted. It also says and Gen Z. Not sure how that could be interpreted otherwise.
Somehow, I grew up in the one neighborhood in the city that hasn’t had a spike in value in the last couple of decades. My mom refuses to move out to a retirement community (at this point she would need assisted living). She likes to talk about improving the property and what color she should paint the upstairs. Watches flipper shows all day.
I don’t have the heart to tell her that I have no interest in inheriting the property and that it will be a huge burden to liquidate all of the ‘antiques’ she has gathered over the last 80 years that now stink of cat piss and many colors of mold.
She’s always been there for me in my darkest hours, though, and so has that shit mid century ranch.
I’ll still let her win at Wheel of Fortune, as long as she can remember my name.
You’re a good kid.
Who the fuck downvotes this?
I’ll still let her win at Wheel of Fortune, as long as she can remember my name.
And then, after that, it’s Zeff’s turn to get the free spins.
Yeah my parents:
explicitly told me they’re giving me nothing
told me they’d give my hypothetical grandchildren something because (and I cannot express to you enough that they explicitly stated this OUT LOUD WITH WORDS) that they would love the grandchildren more than me. My mother has talked to me at length about how she already likes these people that don’t exist more than me.
Are constantly critical of my appearance. When I tried to wear makeup as a child they didn’t want me to look “promiscuous” (because somehow using an SAT word makes it ok to tell your 10-year-old they look like a whore). My mother was constantly critical of how short clothing looked on me because I was so tall or how my chest looked in shirts because it was too big. Now that I’ve gotten those tits removed and I dress more masculine even though I never even really “came out” as anything because I just don’t care enough about gender that’s also not ok because I’m not acting my gender.
They don’t comfort me when I’m upset. They either tell me I’m upset about something stupid or say that I should be worried about more other things. I worked in Healthcare while in nursing school through the first half of COVID them graduated mid-pandemic and every time I’d mention stuff about how broken our Healthcare system is they’d want to have a “fun debate” about MAGA shit then make fun of me for getting emotional. One time I was sitting suicide watch because a guy kept ripping the ventilator mask off and begging me to let him die. The only thing that got him to keep it on was me summing up the plots of the last five books I read because after the first four hours I ran out of things to talk to him about to keep him distracted. Y’all. They thought my PTSD flashbacks were funny.
My parents are both rocket scientists but they’re not sending people to the moon or Mars. I don’t know how they reconcile a belief in Jesus with arms dealing but I’m pretty sure those dead Palestinian kids are paying for my nursing degree.
Anyway I unloaded the exact content of all those PTSD flashbacks on them, told them their voting choices were going to lead to them dying in a ditch full of maggots, then dumped all the shit my whole family talk behind each other’s backs in the groupchat and changed my phone number. Its been a year and I haven’t felt the need to drink since.
Love me? You don’t even like me. Die alone, assholes.
Those are the sort of parents I left in the past, I feel you with a lot of that.
As for the grandkids, feel free to use my excuse. “I can’t afford them”. (Partially because I have to support one of them, but also kids are freaking expensive). So they can whine about not having grandchildren all they want. Kids are now 800k+, who can do that?
Well they’ve said they would support me IF-
I just went ahead and told them it’s because they didn’t stop my cousins from doing weird sexual shit to me.
Sir, this is a Wendy’s.
My parents are land owners My grandfather owns a mansion My uncles are business owners and landlords
I have two siblings I have no clue what I’m going to be given and this will stress the fuck out of me
At least I have confirmation that they’ll buy me a place for me to stay in Istanbul and those places aren’t exactly cheap either
But what about my house in Denizli, apartment and shops in Eskişehir, farmland near Muğla, and the spa & hotel within Kütahya?
