Hey all,

So I recently decided to go vegan. My personal reasons for ditching animal products were because of environmental factors, animal welfare, and trying to maintain consistency with the values I hold to their logical ends.

I was curious. I’ve seen a lot of hate towards vegans online, admittedly being someone who partook in that several years ago myself to a small degree. While I’m glad and very lucky people I know closely have been making accommodations for me, I’m also worried about mentioning or bringing it up to people I’m getting to know since I don’t want to rub them the wrong way if they possibly have these notions that being vegan and veganism are a bad thing. Namely when it’s relevant in conversation like people asking me why I read ingredients lists or can’t have something they’re offering me, which I’ve been half-lying attributing to food allergies and intolerances out of worry (I’m lactose intolerant, which helps as a cop-out).

I’m wanting to know what people dislike about vegans, whether they’re based on previous experiences they’ve had, or preconceived notions, and what would make someone a “good vegan” in their eyes. I know I shouldn’t be a people-pleaser, but knowing this stuff would definitely help me gain the confidence to be more open about myself and my personal values to others who don’t necessarily share said values.

Thanks in advance, I’ll try to respond where possible, but it’s going to be a busy day for me, though I do read all replies to posts I make.

  • Not by asking non vegans. Vegans are the voice for the voiceless and you’re taking part in a boycott that challenge peoples core beliefs. To be a good vegan is to push back and disturb social cohesion which people do not like. I’m not a vegan to make friends, I’m vegan to do the right thing.

  • RBWells@lemmy.world
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    22 days ago

    You just do you. I think when people say “bad” they generally mean preachy. That is not most vegans. Just live your life, eat what you want, bring good food to potlucks so that you know you’ll have something.

    I will add that mentioning it is not preachy, if you get an overreaction it’s not you. I am omnivorous and would want someone to tell me before a party or outing so that I don’t accidentally invite them to a steakhouse or BBQ joint. I often make vegan food for potlucks just because it’s sort of a baseline, most everyone can eat it.

  • vfreire85@lemmy.ml
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    22 days ago

    “What makes a “good vegan”, and how can I be one?”

    huh… not eating/consuming animal-related products?

  • Today@lemmy.world
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    23 days ago

    My son is vegan and he makes fun of himself - If you vape, you’re vegan, and you’re in a band; which one do you talk about first? Was funnier a few years ago when people carried around those giant vapes. We harassed him a lot for saying, “i can’t eat that” - well, yes you can, but you choose not to- so, now he’ll say he prefers to avoid animal products. If people ask, be honest and answer succinctly - I’m trying it to see if it makes me feel better, or whatever. The hate isn’t from choosing your own food. It’s from the endless conversations and superior, more informed attitude about it - same as anyone who makes one thing their identity - politics, religion, etc.

  • IMNOTCRAZYINSTITUTION@lemmy.world
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    23 days ago

    Idk but be prepared for people to be extreme assholes to you because they don’t like your choice of food. Mfers will see you not order a meat dish at a restaurant and take offense and try to bait you into an argument. Don’t fall for it because they’ll play dirty

    • Churbleyimyam@lemm.ee
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      23 days ago

      Lots of non-vegans make the assumption that vegans are looking down on them as morally inferior and don’t like it.

      The best you can do for them is to tell them that it isn’t about them; it’s your choice for yourself.

      Of course you might actually see them as morally inferior, in which case you can just say “Hey I am vegan and while I do see you as morally inferior, it wasn’t me who brought up the subject.”

      • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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        23 days ago

        Plenty of non vegans have those views due to first hand experiences with those vegans, namely the few vocal ones that make veganism their entire personality and admonish anyone who isn’t like them. Personally, I’ve been chewed out twice by two separate vegans, once because I ordered a cheeseburger at a bar (we were out having beers, I got hungry, ordered a burger, and friend of a friend proceeded on a half hour rant about how I’m evil and am destroying the planet, and that I am a terrible person, etc), the other because I walked past a rally on my way somewhere and wasn’t expressly in support of their cause. I also have a couple buddies that went the vegan route, but we just don’t talk about to because it’s a pointless argument. Like, I’m cool with y’all’s choice, power to you, just don’t crawl up my ass because I like meat. Live and let live

    • protist@mander.xyz
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      23 days ago

      Mfers will see you not order a meat dish at a restaurant and take offense and try to bait you into an argument

      Who does this?! I’ve gone out to eat with vegan friends many times, and this has never happened, not once. And I live in Texas

      • IMNOTCRAZYINSTITUTION@lemmy.world
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        23 days ago

        My bio family is made up of shit people who hate anything they don’t get. And friends of friends of friends at social gatherings have made snarky comments to that effect as well

  • letsgo@lemm.ee
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    23 days ago

    Honestly I don’t care what you want to eat. It’s your body, you can shove whatever you like into it.

    Where vegans become a problem is where they’re being evangelical about their beliefs and trying to force their audience to feel the same shock and horror as they feel when contemplating the meat industry. If all I hear from you is restricted to when I offer you food and ask if you have any dietary requirements, and is of the form “I’m vegan”, that’s absolutely fine. If we’re friends I’ll adjust the menu for you, although you might have to accept it’s only your plate that gets veganified.

    You going “eww” and talking about “rotting corpses” or whatever is where it becomes a problem. If I’ve asked, obviously I’ve brought your response upon myself but you should still tone it down for the non-vegans. “I’ve looked into the meat industry and I didn’t like what I saw” would be a good first response; make sure not to release any gory details unless people are really pressing you for that level of detail.

    That said, none of this is based on actual experience of offensively evangelical vegans. I’ve heard they exist but haven’t met one yet. I’ve known some people for quite a while before finding out they’re vegan, veggie or whatever.

    • Delzur@vegantheoryclub.org
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      22 days ago

      It’s not a belief. Animals being sentient is a fact. Animal agriculture being inefficient and wasteful is a fact. Animal products not being necessary for our survival is a fact.

      Now you could argue that killing sentient beings is OK, but then that’s a weird moral position. And nevertheless, not a belief

    • Jon_Servo@lemmy.world
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      22 days ago

      “This is how you should advocate for veganism. I should know because it didn’t work for me.”

  • Like the wind...@sh.itjust.works
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    23 days ago

    Don’t superglue yourself to burger king counters while holding a tablet playing a meat grinder video.

    Don’t follow random people and film them to ridicule them online for buying McDonald’s.

    Don’t steal homeless people’s dogs and put them up for adoption.

    Don’t block traffic.

    Don’t shame anyone for eating meat and animal products.

    Don’t block entrances to restaurants that serve animal products. Don’t bang on the windows or shine bright lights into the restaurant either.

    Don’t act like words like bacon, beef, venison, sausage, pork, etc. are slurs or swear words.

    Don’t hide the fact that a dish has vegan alternatives, that’s not going to make someone realize it’s Not As Hard Of A Change!!! Those alternatives usually have allergens most wouldn’t expect if it were name the regular way. Who expects soy or nuts in a hot chocolate or chicken nugget?

    Just exist and don’t be a dick. Anyone who has a problem with a vegan just existing is an asshole, don’t waste time with them. But if the association with Those Vegans™ still sucks, then just say it’s your religious belief. But then again if you have the emotional energy, you should denounce and call out the toxic vegans and help destroy the negative impression.

  • DavidDoesLemmy@aussie.zone
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    22 days ago

    If people ask why you’re vegan, focus on the positives of veganism. I say: the food’s delicious, I feel healthier, and I like animals.

    It frames it as something you benefit from, rather than depriving yourself of something.

  • VerticaGG@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    22 days ago

    Respond to right wing reactionaries who go out of their way to complain about vegans simply with “😇💌Triggered”

    There. Now you are the Good Vegan™️

  • absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz
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    22 days ago

    As someone who deals with lactose intolerance.

    Just don’t make it a big deal, if you can’t eat something, don’t eat it. Your needs are important, but other people are equally entitled to their own enjoyment.

    I hate vegans who only do it to virtue signal, it is a personal journey keep it that way.

    If someone is thoughtful enough to ask about your dietary requirements, they are probably “good people” and won’t care about it. They will just make allowances for you.

    An anecdote about dietary requirements:
    I have a sister in law who cannot eat onions/garlic/leeks etc… she does make a big deal about it, no dishes can have those ingredients when she is around.
    Her intolerance is about at bad as mine, she gets bloated and gassy… So not dangerous, just uncomfortable.
    It always feels difficult to deal with. My view is, if you want to make potatoes with cream sauce, enjoy it I’ll eat something else.

    • Billegh@lemmy.world
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      22 days ago

      For me, it isn’t really a hatred, more a “I’m tired of hearing about this.” It’s almost never “I’m vegan” and that’s the end of it. It’s all too often “I’m vegan and you should be too and you should feel bad for not being vegan and here in my TED talk I will cover…”

      Be vegan if you want. If you decide to proselytize, take “no” or “stop” for an answer.

        • Billegh@lemmy.world
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          22 days ago

          Perhaps, but the unpleasant ones are usually very unpleasant and sometimes violent.

          My wife and I will accommodate vegans so long as they’re content to keep it to themselves. If we don’t wish to eat the same thing, that’s our choice and not intended as an offense.

  • Achyu@lemmy.sdf.org
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    23 days ago

    If you’re not dictating what others should eat, then I think there would be no issue. Goodness is in behaviour, right?

    I’m in India. In Hinduism, some upper castes have vegetarianism. And also most people would need to have meat or fish to achieve a balanced diet and meet nutritional goals within reasonable costs.
    We also have the issue of people suspected of eating cow meat being mob lynched to death in some North Indian states.

    So, when I see moralistic stuff being talked about diets, I become wary about associated casteist/classist things behind it.

    I’ve read that the average Western person eats a lot of meat compared to others, so not against the idea of better consumption to reduce wastage, but have seen some online discussions where people are talking about it from two contexts.

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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    23 days ago

    Honestly, just don’t be a dick about it.

    It’s like being a good insert religious group. You live your beliefs, and don’t push them on other people. It’s really that simple. That’s what people hate about vegans.

    If someone asks, it’s perfectly okay to explain why you follow a religion, so it’s fine when the question is about being vegan. It’s when there’s a conversation about something else, and you insist on shoving your beliefs into it that’s there’s a problem. Or, when the conversation is such that talking about your beliefs is the goal, insisting that the other people agree with your beliefs.

    It’s that simple. It’s that easy.

    I troll vegans. It’s easy to do because a lot of them treat it like a religion and are zealots, or are arrogant enough to think that they’re better because of what they believe. But, irl away from the anonymity of the internet, it rarely happens, and the vegans I know are fucking great, because they don’t shoehorn their beliefs into things, and don’t act like jerks about it. It’s why I’ll gladly cook vegan for them when they’re guests.

    You know how people bitch about jehovah’s witnesses and mormons knocking on their door, or the baptists (or other christian sects) leaving shit on their stoop or shoved into doors? Don’t be like that. If you’re in a situation where you would not be surprised that someone would be angry/annoyed by someone going on about being wiccan or christian, or hindu, they’ll likely be the same about veganism.

    Live your beliefs, don’t show them off, and anyone that has a problem with you is the asshole, not you.

    • elucubra@sopuli.xyz
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      22 days ago

      I was a partner at a Bio vegetable farm. As part of the business I was in contact with over 100 vegetarian /vegan restaurants (our main customers).

      Early on I learned, from the owner of one of the oldest vegetarian restaurants in the business in our area, 20+ old (the restaurant) , that Vegetarianism is a dietary choice, veganism a cult.

      I do Keto. When going out, or eating at someone’s, I do not make a fuss. If spaghetti is on the menu, I’ll eat it. My choice is not the others burden.

      Also, use Arch.

    • pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online
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      23 days ago

      Exactly. People don’t hate vegans because they’re a vegan. People hate people who take one aspect of their lives and make it their entire identity, shoehorning it into every conversation.

    • undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch
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      23 days ago

      I’m not into this line of thinking because by continuing to eat meat they’re still causing animal suffering. It isn’t a belief without consequences (like talking to the air is), it actually impacts others (the animals).

      • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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        23 days ago

        This is kinda exemplifying it. It’s one thing to raise awareness, but it’s another to chastise someone’s preferences for one of the main bodily functions necessary to live and try to make them uproot their entire lives around a philosophy. The fact of the matter is, barring a cataclysmic event, people are still going to eat what they enjoy. If you can convert someone to the cause, sweet, but if they say no, leave it be. You aren’t going to shame someone into going vegan, and that he line makes someone a dick.

          • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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            23 days ago

            Where did I say eating meet is needed to live? I said preference. Your reading comprehension and abrasion aren’t winning you any points bud.

      • protist@mander.xyz
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        23 days ago

        All beliefs and practices impact others, because they guide your behavior and your behavior impacts others. It’s up to you whether you decide to bring your beliefs and practices into every conversation, but the person you’re talking to is likely to think you’re unpleasant to be around. This is especially true if you place your belief or practice in judgment of someone else’s.

        So sure, you can be vocal if that’s what you want to do, but you’re also likely to suffer social consequences, which is what OP is asking about avoiding.

        • undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch
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          23 days ago

          Well I don’t want to generalize about every possible belief, but what I wrote is that by consuming meat you’re impacting animals’ lives so the argument that each person has a choice and it only impacts that person is false.

          I’m not addressing every possible belief someone might hold.

        • undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch
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          23 days ago

          I said that eating dead animals impacts those animals’ lives, not just the person who chooses to eat meat. Where do you think meat comes from?

  • the post of tom joad@sh.itjust.works
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    23 days ago

    My buddy went hard when he first went vegan, pushing me to see videos of animal abuse so i would ‘understand’. That was annoying, but it was new to him so i didn’t make it an issue. His making the change was enough to start me on the road myself, though i don’t think he’d understood that (cuz i’d never tell him lol)