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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 14th, 2023

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  • I have never used margarine, even when it was marketed as healthier than butter, agree on natural fats.

    I’m old so have had some time to experiment. Fasting 36 hours each week dropped my bad cholesterol a staggering amount while moderately raising the one considered good, and I didn’t lose weight, but it decreased my quality of life because fasting is a migraine trigger for me.

    Gaining weight to closer to the middle of what’s considered healthy for my height has overall made me feel better, which pisses me off because I like the way I look skinny, so I think adequate nutrition is also healthy. Like, while you shouldn’t overeat, it’s also not great to undereat.

    I avoid ultra processed food except for an occasional diet coke, maybe once a month, and flour tortillas because I usually cannot be bothered to make them. Most of what we eat is homemade from ingredients.

    The thing I understand about nutrition is that there is a difference between a Therapeutic diet and an everyday nourishing diet. People do extreme diets and it fixes something so they then extrapolate to everyone else and think it’s a perfect diet, but when continued or used by someone who doesn’t need it, can cause problems itself.

    I try to eat a moderate, enjoyable everyday nourishing diet so I don’t end up needing a therapeutic diet!



  • Ha ha ha ha, no. We do have savings so at least some cushion but I took years off when my kids were born, got a late start in college, started a career later, I would say I got the time when I needed it I guess. But not likely to have enough to take time off paid work again at the end.

    Most people don’t get to decide, they get disabled or laid off & cannot find work and are forced into retirement. I’m in good shape and work in an office so probably can keep going as long as jobs last for me, and our life will be better if we keep working.


  • You are talking to us here, now. I know you do rock climbing and weight lifting. If you have friends, you talk to them too. It’s not different from that. You are doing it already. There’s not a formula.

    What friends can do is tell their friends you are a great guy and introduce you to other people. That’s what networking is, the same way you network computers, you network human relationships, by connecting them.




  • I mean, you can’t just get fit and expect someone to come knocking on your door. If you are feeling good about your looks now, that’s an accomplishment you can be happy about, and should, but it doesn’t send out some secret signal that you are ready for a relationship. You have to talk to actual people. You can meet them out in the world or on an app, you can also tell any friends you have that you are looking to start dating, network. I think friends of friends and dating apps are the most usual ways of getting dates now. When I was young we just hung out in groups and some people always people ended up paired off, didn’t really date per se, but my kids don’t seem to do that as much.

    So basically - now you are happy about your physical shape, you still have to reach out to people, that is the next step.





  • Ha! It’s flavorful as fuck actually with the mostly ancho assortment and tomatillos but the venn diagram in my family for people who like meat heavy meals and the people who like very spicy (as in picante) food doesn’t have much overlap - me and the vegan are the only actual chiliheads.

    When I make the vegetarian chili, it gets jalapenos, tomatoes, lots of bottled chili powder, some tinned chipotle powder, leftover very spicy salsa, sometimes beer or a splash of whiskey, I keep adjusting it until it seems like it will be good, then leave it to simmer or in the slow cooker. it’s more of a refrigerator stew but always pintos, I don’t like any other beans in there.




  • I really love reading. When little, my mom said I read my way through the kids section in the library in like a year then moved on to the grownup side.

    But then I had kids, and read magazines, short stories, and comics because I didn’t have uninterrupted time.

    Now, when I do have a book I read it while husband is watching TV, we both have entertainment time that way. If we go to the beach I bring the e-reader, and read on days off - still a lot of comics as I’m still busy, and I love them, but more library books than when the kids were kids.

    You don’t have to read books if you don’t enjoy them! Everyone is different. I read really fast and effortlessly (learned to at the same time I was learning to speak, it’s a language not a skill for me) so it’s a better pace for me personally than other forms of entertainment.

    But of my kids, fewer than half read for pleasure. There are so many other ways to use your time that are just as good for you or better.


  • I will say it took me awhile to wrap my head around my kid being a son not a daughter. My concept of womanhood is quite broad, I really and truly did not see it coming, just thought she was dykey , for lack of a better word, still doesn’t seem distressed at all either but that may be because all the kids at school just accept kids are whatever gender they say, it’s no big deal to them, and siblings all immediately supportive. I didn’t lay my trouble adapting on them, it’s not his problem, it’s mine - just saying you have known a long time but she has not, she will adjust.


  • It’s ok here because I’m in a left leaning city, trans kid (my youngest) will be adult soon so can begin medical care whenever they can afford it; any daughters who are at all into men have IUDs, and in general everything has been ok, except for school but I do a little bit insulated because it’s an art school and they DGAF about the state saying they can’t use nicknames or preferred gender. So that is ok but the actual teaching in the academic classes has faltered, getting bad like when I went to school here, and it’s so disappointing after it had gotten so good for awhile.

    Thanksgiving may be fractious because we have trans, communists, right wing, right-leaning, about half progressive leftist, one sort of prickly vegan (not prickly a, it’s always very mixed and rowdy like that, tensions seem higher but OTOH my ex has become more reasonable.

    Bracing for economic downturn, hopefully it lets some people get into houses, who cannot now. And hopefully can stay employed, pretty old so have made it through several recessions already.


  • I say it’s short for Chile con Carne because beans are the baseline chili - I’d eat chili with beans and no meat, Chile sin Carne, that’s a meal by itself.

    But chili with meat and no beans, like Chile Colorado, needs to be served with beans and rice, it’s not good by itself. I do make that sometimes but people just call it “meat” when I do. Nobody here thinks of it as chili.

    I don’t think any food is pure. Traditions are forever changing.


  • What’s mmj? Medical weed? I like the cities here in Florida, but can understand, it’s not the right time to move here anyway, houses are overpriced right now and rent is too.

    I changed my mind on marriage, it was never my dream but my now-husband really wanted us to be married, and it did help with his status at schools and stuff regarding my kids and mine with his kids, has streamlined a lot of stuff like signing up for benefits at work, I still think it’s kind of silly to license relationships, but it’s been a good experience overall.