My husband of 17 years is a judge. Recently multiple people have come out publicly with their stories about my husband because all the complaints they have filed with the Council which deals with this have been ignored throughout the years - no investigation opened. My husband has always kept me in the dark about his work - finances, so let’s just say I have my reasons to believe the allegations. The most horrific one I’ve heard is my husband ruled that a 12-year-old consented to having sex with an adult (legal age of consent at the time was 15 in our country), so there was no conviction. The accused in this trial was wealthy. I didn’t know about this until now. Frankly I’m completely disgusted with him.
I’d want to hear his side too, but it’s likely he’ll lie if it’s true. It may be true allegations, it may be false, I don’t know what evidence you have.
Taking just one case, say the one you mentioned, I see 2 possibilities. Either he was bribed, which I’d be inclined to believe if there was more history of corruption, which sounds like may be the case, or he was threatened.
If he simply did it for money, nope. It’s try to gather some more evidence to publish and get the fuck away from him. If he has this little empathy, you may be in some danger too.
If he did get threatened, that would depend on the threats, but again, sounds like the less likely possibility.
The way he argued that ruling was that since the act happened multiple times and the victim didn’t tell her parents / authorities, wasn’t physically abused / no signs of physical coercion, isn’t distraught, dressed “inappropriately to seduce him” and behaved affectionately around him, we can conclude that the act was consensual & instead of rape it was classified as sex with a minor - 3 years suspended sentence; so no prison time. This one isn’t an allegation, it’s the actual court ruling. And there is a pattern.
He’s empathetic to pedophiles.
Let’s think about that for a minute.
There’s something inside him that’s making him think “Yeah, I can understand how that could happen.”
I would not trust him alone with children.
Honestly, I would rather find out that my spouse had been taking bribes from a mob boss.
Or the judge is just ruling based on the morals and laws of the society he is living in. As horrific as the interpretation is in this case, it may be how the law is written and understood.
Maybe I missed it, but OP didn’t state which country she is from. It is possible that she is from a country with civil law, where judges are much more constrained on how they can rule compared to American common law. Also, that there is a division between rape and sex with a minor shows that the legal system is making a distinction between the two cases, not just the judge husband.
I would expect that having repeated sex with a minor should bring jail time, but I don’t know enough about this country’s legal system to know if this is common or not.
That is a very good point, and could be a variable in a situation like this.
In this specific case, OP followed up to clarify that the ruling DOES defy the law as written.
Not only that, but the argument for the ruling is not based in law. There’s an age of consent, and below that the judges can’t just decide consent themselves - it’s set as nonconsensual from the start. My husband completely ignored the law and set himself above it by establishing it himself. Obviously the family’s lawyer said this is nonsensical, we have to appeal. Well, they tried and it got dismissed.
I’m very confused, though. If there is an age of consent, and anything below that age is rape, then why is there a charge for “sex with a minor,” a supposedly lighter charge? It seems like the law does distinguish between forcible and statutory rape (though in cases of children it shouldn’t) and your husband leaned toward the latter.
To be clear, I am not arguing that getting a lighter sentence or believing a 12-year-old can consent to sex with an adult is anything but rape. I’m just stating that your country may have a legal separation between the two that your husband might have followed and still been within the law.
That is if I’m reading what you’ve written correctly.
Because back when this case was ruled the age of consent in our country was 15, as I’ve said, but the age 13-15 had specifications that it can, in certain situations, be argued that it’s not rape, but sex with a minor (so implying that the minor had some ability to consent). More clear: under 13 - always rape. 13-15: sex with a minor if the judge sees fit; semi-consent ability. 15+ - ability to consent with anyone. So the establishment of consent by a judge at 12 was outside the law. Now the laws have changed and absolute minimum is 14 (max 4 year age gap), and 16 for unrestricted consent.
Oh, well that sounds completely outside the law and completely immoral. I can’t believe that judgement stood, since it was so obviously wrong.
Yeah, the family’s lawyer was shocked as well. But I guess any ruling will stand if the higher courts refuse to hear an appeal for whatever reasons. This was the lawyer who really sniffed extreme corruption, as after this case he got very angry and started researching past cases / rulings of my husband, and the pattern was that if the accused is wealthy / has influence / could be useful in the future (quid pro quo) - then these nonsensical rulings will be made; but he also has really logical and law based, fair judgements as well - there’s a clear bias depending on who the person is.
I feel for you.
from what you laid out it sounds like textbook abuse and rape. can you get more facts about the case? or ask him why he classified it as sex with a minor?
if it was indeed textbook abuse and rape which he classified as a lesser offense, that’s something I might not be able to look past.
It is. The family tried to appeal to the Court of Appeal because the ruling makes no sense legally. Got dismissed. They say it’s because their own independent investigation found that husband has friends and connections in all the right places, which is why all the complains of corruption also went ignored. Asked him about this ruling: said he doesn’t justify himself to anyone, the ruling is the justification, what you see it’s what it is and he won’t discuss any further. Oh, and now he’s suing the people who came forward with libel and defamation. 0 remorse of any kind.
oof. so the only thing I can think of are:
he relates with this form of abuse because of some previous experience
he was bribed
I’m not sure what to tell you. if you tell him this is a deal breaker, and he doesn’t address it to your satisfaction, then you have your answer.
Well, that completely dismisses my theory of threats.
Not sure about you, but I wouldn’t care whether he was bribed or he simply believes this was the “right” thing to do. It even sounds like you were doing fine financially, and greed won’t justify this. And he doesn’t even seem to regret it.
You’re his wife and this is extremely important to you. If my spouse took this attitude with me I’d be gone before the echoes finished ringing, let alone if they had also refused to punish a child rapist.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I can only begin to imagine the emotions you’re going through finding out about it all 😞