When I first read your question, I thought it was a hypothetical situation. Like an improv exercise or something.

Anyway, I was bitten by a racoon once. Everything turned out alright in the end for both me and the racoon.

Guinea pig.

I was watching a school pet named Peanut. I honestly don’t know what I did, but I must have scared him or something because I opened up the cave, went to give him a pet, and he bit the shit out of my hand. His teeth actually put a nice bloody gash because I had to wiggle my hand to get him off with cause his teeth to drag. My hand was gushing blood. Would have never thought a Guinea pig could do that.

I had to beg my mom not to make me get rid of Peanut for my week. I never told the school/teacher what happened because I didn’t want to get in trouble. That was the last time my mom let me watch Peanut.

my neighbor’s 2 chihuahuas

Nothing else but dogs are allowed to bite me :)

A big darn dragonfly. It took quite a large chunk out of my arm, and it ended up badly infected in no time

A scorpion. It stung me between my toes and it was not a big one but hurt pretty bad. I went to the emergency and what scared me more than the sting was the nurse’s insisting on injecting the antidote right where the little guy had u stung. The pain subsided in an hour or so but it felt like I had a bad case of pins and needles on that for for the next few days, incessantly.

Damn homes, animals really don’t like you huh?

A tick

A cat.

The neighbor’s cat managed to get through the screen window into our bedroom, but couldn’t get out again. And because I wasn’t thinking, I picked it up and decided to carry it downstairs. That was a mistake. It bit my hand, wrist and forearm, and scratched basically everywhere else. The bites were bleeding a LOT, especially the one on my wrist. And of course I had to get antibiotics and a tetanus shot, which meant that only were the bites hurting, I was nauseous for two weeks too.

Also a snake once. My partner made me go to the doctor, who said “yep, that’s a snake bite. Call me if it’s not getting better”.

A “friendly little pit bull”. I was walking down a sidewalk in an urban area when I passed by it and its owner and it decided I was snack time. The small woman owner couldn’t control it and when I was able to get it off I luckily could run inside a building. Two good Samaritans who saw the attack followed the woman to her home and called the police to tell them where she was.

I initially told the owner cover my hospital bills and rehab and let’s call it a day. Instead she tried to blame me because I looked “intimidating” to her dog (what she told police). Luckily the good Samaritans provided a statement to police stating they just saw me walking down the street like every other person.

I was out thousands in medical bills and lost workdays and she wouldn’t pay so I sued her and she dodged process servers so we got a judge to file a bench warrant for her arrest. That got her to court real quick and instead of paying $5k in medical bills she ended up posting me $110k, some was covered by her policy but she was still out of pocket $35k according to the discussions my lawyer had with her lawyer and insurance company

Not me but a former Co worker was bitten by something unknown. He went out fishing, I don’t know if alcohol was included but I wouldn’t be surprised. He got home and noticed two puncture wounds on the back of his leg. Over the next few days his leg really hurt, he went to the doctor was basically told it’s just a little inflamed here’s some ibuprofen.

Another week goes by still in pain so he goes back. Might be a mild infection heres some antibiotics.

A few days go by and pain is getting worse. He goes to hospital. The check him out, he is going into sepsis and his kidneys and liver are shutting down. They put him in a medical induced coma. Once they stabilize him they run more tests, they find stage 4 lung cancer. They send him to some cancer hospital in Kentucky. He arrives late at night(still in coma). They put him in a room. They check on him the next morning and he is dead.

A pure bred Akita named Misha. She was a beautiful and nice dog that some neighbors down the street has. I loved that dog and pet her whenever I went by and she was out.

One day, after walking one of the little neighbor girls to school, I stopped to pet her and she got excited and in the process of licking my face, got a fang caught in the bridge of my nose, ripping it open from top to bottom. She didn’t mean to, but it happened and I had to get a bunch of stitches (and discovered that they can’t numb cartilage), so the poor girl had to spend the rest of her life in a small high-fenced yard. I hated it, but I completely understood the owners wanting to make sure they didn’t have to put her down over a mistake.

Cat. My pet cat. It wasn’t her fault, the window was open on the sill she was sitting on and abruptly closed on its own, on her paw.

So she understandably freaked out. When I ran to open it, she bit me on the finger.

Long story short, I went to a couple of Urgent Care centers before the ER. My mom had been told that I was allergic to penicillin when I was a child, so I told the medical staff this. After a couple of days, whatever else they were giving me wasn’t working and I woke up with red streaks going up my arm and my finger swollen to over twice its size.

Went to the ER. They said if I didn’t have penicillin, I could lose my finger. They also said it was common back in the day to mistake a certain reaction to it as being allergic, so maybe I wasn’t allergic. But they monitored me closely just in case.

Penicillin FTW. Not allergic. Spent 2 days in the hospital getting a constant IV drip of this modern medicinal miracle. Still have all 8 fingers and 2 thumbs.

I’m not sure how it works in every state, but in mine rabies testing is covered by the state but kind of requires a doctor visit, (and the animal to be tested) to get the ball rolling. I think you could also go straight to the sheriff. All of that to say i went to the ER for a minor bat bite, and to make my PSA statement that if there is even a sliver of possibility that rabies is possible, don’t ever assume that a minor animal bite is no big deal.

This did not end up in the ER but is a bit of a funny tale. When I was very young I got bit by a gerbil on my finger but it must of hit something somewhat significant as the blood was spurting. I wrapped a kitchen towel around it and wen to my brother who upon seeing the kitchen towel wrapped around my finger and hand for what I explained was a gerbil bite immediately started making fun of me. Oh did you get mauled by the mighty gerbil or such. Anyway he then unwound the towel and was like. holy shit. and wrapped it back up. He got it tightly wrapped with a real bandage and gauze and such that it slowed the bleeding down so that after a few hours and a rewrap it was no bleeding passed the bandage anymore.