Wikepedia states

“Much like today’s socially acceptable terms idiot and moron, which are also defined as some sort of mental disability, when the term retard is being used in its pejorative form, it is usually not being directed at people with mental disabilities. Instead, people use the term when teasing their friends or as a general insult.”

Is it only a slur if directed at soneone with mental disabilities? Is it a slur if durected at onself?

Whats lemmies take on this?

  • hoshikarakitaridia@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Let’s go through examples:

    “He’s retarded” - that’s a slur, unless it’s ironic.

    “That was retarded” - not a slur, cause it’s kinda taking a dig at an action, not a person.

    “I’m retarded” - technically a slur but almost always used with a hint of irony, therefore usually not a slur.

    That’s how I use the word with my friends. And I have autism, so technically 100 years ago I would have been the resident retard ;)

    • Susaga@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      Utterly incorrect. Irony does not affect whether a thing is a slur or not. It doesn’t matter what you use the slur towards, it remains a slur. Any excuse you use to explain why you can use a slur is exactly that: an excuse.

      • Womble@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Youre right that irony doesnt stopbit being a slur, but usage absolutely matters. Unless you think its inexcusable black people using the n word with each other? Context is incredibly important.

        • Susaga@sh.itjust.works
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          2 months ago

          Just to make it clear, I am white, so take my opinion on this with a grain of salt.

          From what I understand, there isn’t a universal consensus among black communities that the n-word is okay between black people. Some people get just as offended no matter who says it.

          Of course, some people are perfectly fine with it, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a slur. It’s still a slur, it’s just not offending anyone at that moment. It’s like an empty gun: it won’t harm anyone, but it’s still a gun.

          • Womble@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            Any excuse you use to explain why you can use a slur is exactly that: an excuse.

            I guess that is what I take issue with, that statement makes it sounds like any use of a slur is always wrong regardless of context and that any reason for using it is just to wiggle out of you being a bad person.

            • Susaga@sh.itjust.works
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              2 months ago

              I mean, it might be a good excuse. Doesn’t change the slur.

              In Blazing Saddles, the actors playing the racists apologised to their co-stars after every take. They had a damn good excuse to say what they said, but they still apologised for saying it.

    • SavvyWolf@pawb.social
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      2 months ago

      What’s wrong with someone having cognitive difficulties? Why do you feel the need to use the word as a descriptor for negative things?

      • hoshikarakitaridia@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago
        • nothing. I have autism. There’s nothing wrong with me, but I’m obviously a little bit different like other people, which in itself is neither good nor bad.

        • because we need a descriptor and that’s just what my friends use; we know what we mean with it and what we don’t.

        Also I’m gonna take those questions at face value, but I’m just gonna note the first question is a bit out out of left field, as no one implied that something’s wrong with that.

        But I don’t wanna assume you are an asshole, so I’m gonna take it as a misunderstanding.

        • SavvyWolf@pawb.social
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          2 months ago

          The way I usually see it playing out is that people usually call things are negative “reatarded” (e.g. “This app is retarded!”, “Wow, I thought that tomato was a fruit, lmao I’m still retarded!”). It just pushes the negative stereotypes associated with it. I don’t know if that’s what you are doing, but that’s how I see a lot of “stop being sensitive bros” do it.

          I know its easy to say that every one who hears you talk fully understands precisely what you mean, but do they? I’ve seen stories of people who “ironically” use racial slurs and didn’t realise that it resulted in most of their friends turning out to be actual racists. Likewise, are you pushing away would-be friends who don’t want to associate with people who casually throw out slurs? That’s ignoring the impact of saying it in a public place, where victims of abuse can hear it.