Did I know how printers work and can fix their printer.
Look, I have a computer science degree (utterly pointless qualification folks don’t get one) and I work in cyber security. I haven’t got a clue how those fuckers work, I don’t know get a brother or something they seem to be fine.
Printers are so cheap nowadays that the solution to every problem is to buy a new one. Paper jam? Out of ink? Random pages coming out with grayscale pictures of demonic forces? Lost the power cable? Buy a new one
Used to be that because I was an expert on Apple platforms, that must mean I can fix a Windows computer. I hadn’t the first clue where anything was. I’ve since learned, however. Because of work. Oh well.
Skydiving
Skydivers are not adrenaline (epinephrine) junkies. Adrenaline actually makes you feel terrible. You know that rush and shakes you get when you get hungry? Yeah, THAT’S an adrenaline rush.
No, we go for the same thing runners do. Endorphins. Nature’s own anti-depressant.
I assumed you guys did it for the view. I’d do it but I’m afraid of heights.
This is very enlightening. Great way of framing the difference between the two.
People are always amazed at how physically active embroidery is at an industrial scale. Everybody thinks it’s just sitting around with an oldschool hoop, but I’m up and down the length of an 8ft machine all day, embroidering the same design on 6 garments at once.
I think the most I ever did was 300 garments in an 8 hour workday, but I put 17k steps on my fitbit and was dead tired afterwards.
What do you use? Our shop has a Tajima T-MAR
We’re running with the Barudan BEKY, but they run .dst files too.
That I can fix their computer or home network.
Sorry, Bubba, if your router costs less than my PC, there’s not much I can do. Same answer if your PC costs less than my car.
Also, I haven’t been good at troubleshooting windows (to the extent that is at all possible) since Tobey was Spiderman.
I work in IT (Sysadmin). “Oh, you fix computers? Can you look at my laptop?”
“I’d be glad to, which UNIX do you use on it?” generally stops that conversation from progressing.
I wish. When I tell people I’ve been exclusively using Linux for more than 10 years they give me a blank look then repeat the question.
“What is a Linux?”
I’ve had to be very direct with my family that I don’t fix computers (anymore, I used to do remote and hands on helldesk), I fix the deeper kind of stuff that keeps email working for an entire company, or makes sure new hires can log in to work stuff.
I’m an IT manager and today I had the director of HR bring me her new iphone asking if I can help her set it up. Um, no… first, that isn’t my job, and second, I have no idea how to setup an iphone. I assume it’s an easy process but I’ve never done it before and have more pressing matters to attend to instead of fiddling with her new phone.
The funny thing is, that people always assume that you can fix all kind of stuff just because you work in IT (or just know stuff about IT). In reality 90% of the time I have no clue what the fuck I’m doing and just pressing random buttons and reading the text next to the buttons hoping it fixes the problem.
Lol, been there. But my former CTO had one that I think takes the cake:
My (now former) CTO showed up to a C-suite/executive meeting shortly after he joined the company and they asked him to sort out the fucking A/V setup (read: projector, computer to put the slideshow on, clicker to advance the slides, hooking it all up, etc). In a hotel conference room that was “bring your own hardware”. With no warning.
And these chucklefucks expect perfection. We must have burned over a million on the executive conference room at our HQ. “The camera that automatically zooms into who is speaking isn’t fast enough at changing targets” type shit.
We’re a company of over 4000 employees. Every single C-suite/executive meeting before then they would book one of the senior members of our in-person internal tech support team for support for that shit, so they should have known better.
It wasn’t some joking hazing thing either. They legitimately just hadn’t fucking planned for how they were going to present their slideshow at this off site location and expected the CTO to just magic it together. Why they needed to do it offsite when they had a fancy ass overly expensive room built for conferences at the HQ? No fucking clue.
The things that come out at tech division happy hours are wild once the higher ups get a few drinks in them.
They legitimately just hadn’t fucking planned for how they were going to present their slideshow at this off site location and expected the CTO to just magic it together. Why they needed to do it offsite when they had a fancy ass overly expensive room built for conferences at the HQ? No fucking clue.
I work at a place with a banquet room, and consistently ask myself the same question. So many corporate meetings that show up with basically zero plan. I’ve had to tell clients “no” when they asked last minute if we could put up a projector and screen.
Sorry brotato, you should have mentioned the need for a projector during any of the six emails where I specifically asked if you needed a projector. The projector is already in use across the building; you said you didn’t need it six times, so we rented it to a different client instead. And even if it were available, that shit takes two people and fifteen minutes to put up. And I know you aren’t going to crawl around on the floor in your suit to help snap it together, so it’s just me here. And I’m not doing it by myself. So the answer is no, you can’t use our projector and screen at the last minute.
LMAO @ BROTATO!!!
I’m working with computers => I can fix their windows problems.
Nope. If I work on windows, and it eats itself for no reason, I call IT. I don’t waste my time on that crap software.
People assume that because I’m into technology that I can unlock
stolenphones or do XYZ whatever with their Facebook/Twitter/Instagram accounts or whatever. One, I don’t touch stolen devices. Two, I don’t have any accounts with any of those sort of services, and ain’t about to start one to learn the ins and outs for other people.People praise me up for “saving the bees”. Honey bees don’t need saving. It’s the other bees that do, the hundreds of species of bumblebees, mining bees, solitary bees etc etc. Bees that are outcompeted in some areas due to the number of hobbyist beekeepers and commercial bee farms. I’m one of the baddies.
I have a wildlife garden with lots of wild plants and insects and stuff. I thought I was helping the bees but I mean just helping some body make artisanal honey to sell to me at the craft fair?
No, you’re helping all the other pollinators too! Keep a corner of your garden nice and rough, with tumbled bricks or rocks, twigs, dead leaves etc to make a wee nesting spot for bumblebees.
I have red-belted bumblebees living inside the wall of my house. We need to fix the broken light fixture they’re using to gain access, but I dun wanna kick them out, haha.
I’ve always been interested in the business side of beekeeping, do you rent out for pollination and is it worth doing?
We get free use of a spot next to an apple orchard, so I guess pollination is our “rent”, plus some honey. I don’t know what arrangement commercial beekeepers have - near us they move 60+ hives in when the oilseed rape (canola) is flowering, then move them again when it’s finished. A guy I was talking to said they reckon they can break even with 300 hives, because one person can deal with that many. More than that they have to employ someone else, and bang go the profits. Sounds like a nightmare. I struggle to cope with 7 hives!
I do not actually have keys to anything, nor am I allowed to wear headphones.
(Janitor)
Why no headphones? Seems like that would make the job more enjoyable.
…that’s why.
/s it’s a safety issue, kitchen workers aren’t allowed to use them either
The safety issue thing is bullshit. First of all, there isn’t any kind of sounds that would indicate any kind of danger other than the fire alarm (which also has lights and is loud enough that even noise cancellation doesn’t muffle it) where I work. Secondly, deaf people are allowed to do the job and they can’t hear anything ever.
It truly is all about “looking professional.” Why not make me clean toilets in a tuxedo, then?
It’s frugal.
… It’s not. Yarn is expensive as hell, even more so if you want any type of durability or wearability or comfort.
A co worker asked my partner if she could knit her a sweater like the one she was wearing. She wore a gorgeous, fitted, bespoke sweater she made herself. She quoted her 1200 euro. Needless to say, she didnt get the commission.
It’s crazy – I have a really nice oversized jumper, and people who’ve known I knit have asked if I made it. Lol no, it would have cost like 10 times more. I bought it on sale (it’s machine made).
The same goes for many handcrafts. Have you seen the cost of one teeny skein of embroidery ribbon? And I always feel a bit sad when I see hand crocheted tablecloths or large cross stitch pieces at thrift shops for almost nothing. Someone spent hundreds of hours on that, and it’s being sold for the price of like 3 tiny skeins of floss.
If you don’t factor in the cost of my tools, I can build solid wood furniture cheaper than you can buy it. I’ve got a dining room cupboard and hutch in the works right now, made of walnut. I’ll get it done for about $1100 all up. The same piece of furniture from Vermont Wood Studios runs about ten grand.
- QA tests software.
- QA reports issue with software.
- Developers review issue report.
- “Will Not Fix”, “Works As Designed”, “Cannot Reproduce”, “Works on my machine”
End Users: “This software is buggy, their QA must suck!”
As a developer I cherish Q/A and dread anytime they would start typing something into Teams.
I’m a web developer. People assume the following:
- I’m an expert with operating systems.
- I’m good with math.
- I eat junk food and drink energy drinks/soda.
- I’m a proponent and consumer of all new technologies.
- I like (insert) TV, Movie, or Anime.
Hey bro, can you hack my ex GFs Facebook?
Yeah, by social engineering. You would probably be better at that than myself though since you can get a girlfriend.
Wait, you’re saying you’re not a stereotype!? (kidding)
I assume you wear programmer socks. DM pics?
I wear black GOLDTOE socks or leather sandals.
Hello? FBI? Yes, this post right here.
I’m knowledgeable about operating systems.
I’m good with math.
I eat junk food and drink energy drinks/soda.
I read about new techniques but am very wary of heavily marketed stuff.
I read a ton of Asian comics.People assume that I know how to do webpages, they don’t know what a web developer is. No, I don’t know l. Well barely but not really, I’m a data engineer goddammit.
I work with embedded programming. I am not the first person you should ask to make a website for you…
Can you make me a website that runs on my microwave?
Is the microwave the server or is it the UI?
Yes
Then no
User end hands on IT for the elderly.
that it’s hard. “Oh I could never do your job”
It’s literally a customer service job with tech paint. Reboot the device. Don’t yell at the decrepit person doing their best in a digital world. Collect check and praise.
The amount of times I’ve been called a genius for relogging into someone’s email is greater than 7.
Yeah. Real hard.
Don’t yell at the decrepit person doing their best in a digital world.
I think this is the part some people might struggle with
Every time it gets difficult I imagine cleaning week old fry grease out of the fryer with a cost hanger because it was so clogged. I was making less then.
I love context. It helps so much.
Honestly it’s only bad when they come at it like they know more than you do. 1 out of 100 in my very lucky experience.
Lol, I was the computer genius in my office job because I knew how to change the paper size on the printer from Letter to A4. Soak up the praise!
It’s one of those things I’d probably have to Google because how many times do you do that, but yeah think most people just give up when they hit a technical problem and stop thinking.
