Say you realized they gaslighted you 2 days ago, so you asked for time to process the discussion. Now, you have to reconnect to address this.
Say you realized they gaslighted you 2 days ago, so you asked for time to process the discussion. Now, you have to reconnect to address this.
Do you know if you want to keep seeing them? If you do, or if you aren’t sure yet, I think you just need more info. They might have experience with a violent ex, and so they’re hyper-tuned to worry “what if this person I like suddenly becomes violent.” Talking about an ex would definitely be a trigger for a lot of violent people, so it makes sense she was worried about that topic specifically. Anyways, maybe sit them down and say something like:
“Thanks for giving me a little time to process things, so I wouldn’t say something I didn’t mean. I was surprised when you said you were afraid I might become violent, as I’ve never been violent with another person, and I don’t think my behavior is even very aggressive.” (Assuming that’s true about you, which I can’t really know). “I want to know why you were worried about that possibility, and I don’t feel like you gave me a clear answer last time we spoke. That being said, I totally understand this might be a sensitive subject for you, so I don’t want to rush you if you’re not ready to talk about it. But I like you, and I want to get to know more about you, and it will be hard for me to feel comfortable continuing to see you if I don’t know what caused you to say what you did a couple days ago.”
Or hey, maybe you aren’t the best judge of yourself. Maybe include something in there like “If you feel like I have raised my voice or acted aggressively sometimes, I would really like to know, as I’m not aware of behaving like that. I promise I will be calm and collected if you want to tell me something like that.”
I dunno, or maybe ask ChatGPT, it can probably write up something pretty good.
Oh yeah, but in summary, I think you are assuming her intentions were malicious due to your saying she’s gaslighting you, when I’m not really 100% sure that’s the case yet. I’d give her a chance to explain, but if y’all keep seeing each other, just keep an eye out for any further weirdness.