I’m going with Danny Devito! That fuck would straighten out the church. He got good morals. He just a nice guy. What about you?
The guy who’s already two thirds pope. Popeye of course! Popeye for Popey!
Weird Al
I vote for whomever Francis had on mind (hopefully he discussed that before passing).
There’s little chance of getting someone as decent as him.
Yes he had one candidate, if I understand correctly: Luis Antonio Tagle. He has a vision of a church adjacent to the poor and the working population in general though he seems regressive on LGBTQ. But going by the sign of times, it’ll probably be Raymond Burke. I suppose Vance visited the Vatikan to pave his way.
Personally I concur Danny DeVito would totally be the man for the job. He would gonna go really weird with it.
Bernie Sanders. Christianity spun out of a Jewish apocalyptic sect, so why not, in some very small part, bring it back toward its roots?
Donald Glover
I don’t know much about him, but he’s always seemed super cool. I’m down with a cool pope.
He didn’t get to be Spider-Man when it was age-appropriate and people were buzzing about the idea. I feel like Pope is a good consolation prize.
Gilbert Gottfried
John Oliver
Deadmau5.
The tapes of some of these Catholic hymns are getting kinda worn- let’s get some fresh beats to liven things up. And a laser lightshow in St Peter’s Basilica would help appeal to the “hip youths” ensuring a continued Catholic hegemony for the next century.
Last one was on the liberal side. Expect a hardcore, gay hating conservative this time.
I had read that Francis appointed 80% of the Cardinals who pick the new Pope. So it’s possible that the new Pope will have similar views to Francis.
Satan. I’m pretty sure he would greatly increase the morality and the accountability in the Catholic Church.
If nothing else he would send all the pedo preists to hell.
Accountability.
The Gang Bankrupts The Vatican
theme song
“I’m not going to lead mass. Leading mass is Charlie Work!”
Adam Savage
Lucien Greaves
I think Bill Maher should put his name in the hat. I know he’s atheist, but he got on his knees for Trump, so maybe he’s willing to give Jesus a fresh look.
