This may or may not be inspired by the nebula original abolish everything, a show I have not watched.

  • OceanSoap@lemmy.ml
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    8 months ago

    The now ultra-common usage of “whenever”, when they actually mean “when”.

    I can’t fucking stand it. But it’s everywhere now. I have no idea how it got so common but I’m surrounded by people who use it incorrectly.

    • dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de
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      8 months ago

      I wonder if I’m using it incorrectly now.

      We can go to the cinema whenever you like.

      That is how I would use it. And I would use when like, when did you go to the cinema?

      • OceanSoap@lemmy.ml
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        8 months ago

        You’ve used it correctly! An incorrect usage would be:

        “Whenever I go to the cinema, I get popcorn.”

        • dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de
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          8 months ago

          Huh…

          I would use that too, so I decided to search it up and this is what I found.

          When is used for a specific time or single occurrences.

          Whenever is used for repeated events or entries with uncertain dates or times.

          So your example seems like it should be whenever, as it’s not talking about a specific time but more every time they go.

          • OceanSoap@lemmy.ml
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            8 months ago

            You’re correct that it’s not grammatically wrong, but a subtle semantic mis-match. Let’s bring in the difference between “every time” and “whenever”. While “when” and “every time” are interchangeable, “whenever” and “every time” are not. “Every time” is exact and without fail, while “whenever” implies unpredictability or indifference to the exact location.

            “When (strongly implied every time) I go to the theater (exact location), I get popcorn.”

            “Every time (explicitly) I go to the theater (exact location), I get popcorn.”

            “Whenever (unpredictable, indifferent) I go to the theater (exact location -mismatch with unpredictability) I get popcorn”

            Does that make sense?

    • Bytemeister@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      Humorous not, when that floating turd finally swirls down the hole, I’m buying a big-ass flag pole specifically so I can fly it at full mast.

  • nihilist_hippie@lemmy.ca
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    8 months ago

    I would abolish toilets without bidets. You would be legally required to have a bidet in all bathrooms, private and public. Worldwide!

  • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
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    8 months ago

    The inconsistency of apostrophe usage in English for possessives and contractions. If it was instead written…

    It-s a wonderful day out today, take your phone but turn off it’s data so you can soak up the clear blue skies.

    It’d be so much fucking easier and my OCD would be satiated.

    • OfCourseNot@fedia.io
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      8 months ago

      It-s

      Thanks I hate it. Also wouldn’t the “it’s” be ‘its’ without apostrophe at all?

      • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
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        8 months ago

        Eh - I thought dash was a pretty reasonable symbol for “There’s a contraction here” I don’t really care about the actual symbol as long as we stop using the same symbol for contractions and possessives. In my sample It-s would currently be written It's and the it's (a possessive) would be its if that’s what you’re asking.

        Possessives always get an apostrophe outside of weird exceptions where they clash with contractions. I’m proposing we fix that. Also - let’s bring back mass possessions like “At the bake sale Moms’ baked goods are always delicious”

        • OfCourseNot@fedia.io
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          8 months ago

          It’s just a matter of taste I guess. But now I’ve given it a thought and I honestly don’t get it, you want to replace the apostrophe because it has two uses (three if you count that some people like myself use it as quotes as well) with the hyphen that has many more uses like compound words, prefixes, ranges, dates, divided words at the end of a line…

            • OfCourseNot@fedia.io
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              8 months ago

              So an n-dash? Which is arguably indistinguishable from a hyphen unless you put them together, so most people just use hyphens. Or another dash-like character in between?

              I mean to each their own, if you like it you like it. I’m not saying your way is bad or worse, I’m just a nerd who also likes to use punctuation in a peculiar and personal way. Just to be clear that this is a light-hearted conversation and not a ‘yOu aRE WroNg!’ kinda thing. :)

        • fantine9@lemm.ee
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          8 months ago

          “Its” is much easier to remember as possessive if you understand it’s a possessive pronoun, like his, hers, ours, and theirs. No apostrophes in any of them.

          I don’t understand what you’re saying about “mass” possessives. That never went away, except for people’s who don’t know how to do it correctly.

    • Skua@kbin.earth
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      8 months ago

      To be honest I think we could just ditch the apostrophe in contractions altogether. I cant think of a situation in which itd make anything less clear. At worst there are perhaps uses of the fairly rare non-contraction verb “cant” that wouldn’t be immediately clear

      • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
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        8 months ago

        I’d be cool with that - I don’t care how we mark contractions just as long as we stop reusing apostrophes for it.

  • gnomesaiyan@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    Money. It’s just a mechanism of control because those with the power to share never learned to do so. They’re the kids at the playground hogging the swing set while everyone else is getting wood chips kicked in their face. Humanity in a nutshell.

    Maybe not humorous, but I hope it paints a picture.

  • Scirocco@lemm.ee
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    8 months ago

    The 9/10 extension on gasoline pricing.

    When this fuel was 13¢ per gallon, sure some folks might want to compete with finer-grained pricing.

    It’s time to drop that pretense

  • Mallspice@lemm.ee
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    8 months ago

    Is it by magical means? Then name calling, mostly to watch Trump deal with it.

    • VitoRobles@lemmy.today
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      8 months ago

      But how will I know if I’m rich or poor without a nasdaq score telling me how the rich are feeling?

      • Elaine Cortez@lemm.ee
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        8 months ago

        ಠ_ಠ

        Pouring milk on top of the cereal means the cereal at the top is going to get pushed down a little and get soggy more quickly. Pouring milk over cereal is an atrocity that must be abolished.

    • Bytemeister@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      I don’t understand why they don’t just have a foot pedal to activate those things. You could make an argument for handicapped people, but you could just have one sink use conventional knobs.

  • andrewta@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    I would like to abolish subscription fees for most items that really shouldn’t have subscription fees. If you bought the item, it should be yours. That’s the point of buying the item.

    • Bytemeister@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      I think if you buy something, and you modify it to provide subscription services without being subscribed, it should be legal.

      Example, that stupid Mercedes where they charge a fee for the heated seats. If you flash your own software on the car that allows heated seats, it should totally be legal to do so.