I need sleep
Open up a breading buisness. Turn the stale bread into breading and sell it at half the price of the competition.
Elroy’s House of Croutons
According to wikipedia, the atmosphere has a mass of about 5.15×10^18 kg and a baguette has a minimum mass of 8×10^-2 kg
I only need to create 6.4×10^19 baguettes
Now i have to figure out how to monetize this
If you summon enough baguettes in the right spot in space, you generate enough mass to gravity-slingshot Earth into a new trajectory. Depending on what mood you’re in, you could use this to solve global warming, or send us into a collision course with the sun.
Do my thing while standing by the microwave, that magical box which turns slightly stale bread into hot steamy fresh bread again.
Definitely on the ‘use it to assassinate billionaires and malicious politicians’ bandwagon.
One that’s done, I’m spending the rest of my life traveling to feed birds at various parks, beaches, etc.
Croutons! I start up a crouton factory!
Croutons are what make me tingle. I mean it. I’m crou-tingly.
Ergot farming.
Being only slightly stale isn’t an issue at all, especially when it comes to sustenance to stay alive. Setting personal gain aside, have people pay you to travel to Bumfuck, Africa. Make it rain infinite slightly stale baguettes. Solve their hunger, at least for a while, and build a composting facility to create mass amounts of compost out of tons of slightly stale baguettes. Feed their livestock tons of slightly stale baguettes.
Travel to Bumfuck, India. Make it rain infinite slightly stale baguettes. Solve their hunger, at least for a while, and build a composting facility to create mass amounts of compost out of tons of slightly stale baguettes. Feed their livestock tons of slightly stale baguettes.
I’m sure you could reach out to many impoverished countries of the world, say hey you pay for my travel, my food & lodging, and pay me $200K (or whatever they can afford) and I’ll make slightly stale baguettes rain down from the fucking sky and they’ll gladly take you up on that offer. If they’re smart.
World hunger, solved. Deserts covered with multiple feet of fertile, composted bread-soil. And as others have said, French toast & other foods forever. Plus if you work it right, you could get paid to travel the world & enrich the nations with your talent.
Become famous for producing infinite food, get shot by a religious fanatic whose beliefs don’t align with the supernatural talents you possess. That or just a corporate hit by Frito-Lays.
Maybe this is a cynical take, but someone in power would almost immediately have the magic infinite food person assassinated.
If someone pulls a gun on you, then just summon a baguette into their lung…
Someone tries to shoot you? Believe it or not, baguette.
I guess that is an angle. But I think I heard of an old Asian tale basically saying that tyrants, dictators, and oppressors require amazing security detail by default. But universally loved rulers who care for the people & do incredible amounts of good need minimal security, and every good man is an unpaid member of their security detail. Virtually all will work to protect him.
Even if that were the case, if you could quickly work over a few countries & create organic, fertile topsoil for all the barren land on Earth – I would argue you have a moral obligation to quickly, quietly execute that power. Even if it kills you. Perhaps start by creating oceans of slightly stale baguettes in the deserts; leave people in the dark. Then go to countries in secret & be like I am the bread god, you’ve seen my work, pay me now, and get all the bread.
Even if they were to eventually find & kill you, strictly speaking about utility, creating millions of tons of fertile, rich compost & filling the bellies of millions of people is more good than you or I could ever hope to accomplish in a lifetime. Even a million people. It would be an act of goodness that would change the world forever.
Trickle them slowly enough onto the GE so they keep their value so I can sustain my membership through bonds.
Baguettes just dump out of Trumps butt whenever he makes a public appearance
Why not just cover the Whitehouse in baguettes 100s of meters high, while simultaneously filling the rooms with so much baguette you can’t even move.
Slightly stale? It does sounds like i can steam it back up and then use it to do other recipe. Make Garlic bread with it is great, or cube it then bake it until crunchy, then toss it into mushroom soup as topping.
Unless you read the prompt as the baguette will always remain slightly stale, so no matter how you attempt to freshen it up, it will still be slightly stale.
So when I eat it it will not suck up moisture at all? Which (I think) would make it indigestible.
And this would be genie rules. No Cassandra here I’m afraid. No moisturizing.
But that means it won’t get any more stale. Emergency baguettes for everyone!
I’d make a fuckload of croutons
Slice it. Toast it. Add toppings. Endless tapas.
The cats nestle close to their kittens now.
The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
You’re cozy and warm in your bed, my dear.
Please don’t the fuck go blind by making moonshine with your daily staley.
Can it be a 1 tonne baguette I would summon directly above someone’s head?
Metric ton or imperial?
Metric of course. I thought imperial measure have something to do with number of elephants.
Search up “ratatouille modern warfare”
