I need sleep
Oh that’s easy: sell it at an outrageous price in upscale North American restaurants as authentic “pain Francais”.
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Croutons! I start up a crouton factory!
Croutons are what make me tingle. I mean it. I’m crou-tingly.
Slightly stale? It does sounds like i can steam it back up and then use it to do other recipe. Make Garlic bread with it is great, or cube it then bake it until crunchy, then toss it into mushroom soup as topping.
Unless you read the prompt as the baguette will always remain slightly stale, so no matter how you attempt to freshen it up, it will still be slightly stale.
So when I eat it it will not suck up moisture at all? Which (I think) would make it indigestible.
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But that means it won’t get any more stale. Emergency baguettes for everyone!
Slice it. Toast it. Add toppings. Endless tapas.
The cats nestle close to their kittens now.
The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
You’re cozy and warm in your bed, my dear.
Please don’t the fuck go blind by making moonshine with your daily staley.
Can it be a 1 tonne baguette I would summon directly above someone’s head?
Metric ton or imperial?
Metric of course. I thought imperial measure have something to do with number of elephants.
I say “this is for the birds”… and I give unlimited free bread to the birds outside.
Feed the birds. Then what have you got? Fat birds.
Have you seen the per pound price of croutons?
No, I make my own out of bread that I summon the old-fashioned way.
Burn the baguettes to boil water that spins a turbine that generates electricity.
Unless the baguettes sequester Carbon when they appear, this will eventually kill all humans.
Profits were made
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Go to bed.
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Kill me.
Nope. The world is more entertaining with you still in it.
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Firstly, this is fantastic. Did you write it?
Secondly, it’s like the hidden, secret love child of Douglas Adams and Iain Banks’ culture series, that spent weekends with a coked out Terry Pratchett, and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever read
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The human raised his implement once more towards the machinery, ready to do God knows what. As it turns out, God didn’t know what and was in-fact watching with extreme fascination.
I love this, this is my favorite line. Very Pratchett-esque.
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Care to repost to [email protected]?
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So basically engineers managed to even take solar power where we have steam-free power generation and insert steam into it anyway
Engineers loves taking every imaginable form of energy source and turn it into a way to drive a steam engine
All superpowers and magic can in some way be used to create perpetual energy machines.
Another way to do this without carbon would be to just summon them high up and sad they fall they spin turbines. Though you’d end up with a ton of baguettes and nothing to do with them
First drop then burn. You’re back to carbon but you double the efficiency (might not be double I’m not a psychic)
A kilogram of bread is about 2000 calories, about 9 kJ. Your body “burns” food too - probably more efficiently than you could make a steam engine for the same, but it’s about that much.
Energy from gravity is equal to mass * gravity acceleration * height. 1 kg of bread in a 9.81 m/s/s field has the same gravitational potential at “about a kilometer”.
If you’re throwing magic stake baguettes off the top of the Burj Khalifa, the energy would be about equal.
Friction (as in the atmosphere) would matter a lot in this case. Bread is low density and would have a rather low terminal velocity. Basically doesn’t matter how high you drop it from.
(until high enough that you are letting the burn part happen on the way down, but then it’s difficult to capture that energy)
True. I’d mentally envisioned it as a whole series of “bread powered water wheels” down the side of the building, with a furnace at the bottom. Nothing actually going fast enough for friction to matter. A machine that only tried to convert all the kinetic energy at the bottom would be wasteful, as you say.
Plainly, we’re going to have to put some engineering design time into the concept of this.
Oh yeah, that does make a lot more sense that way then I was thinking of. (Like having it fall a long way then hit a lever or something)
Can I summon the baguette out of the thin air inside someone’s lungs? Cos that’s basicly a free kill anyone wherever, whenever. U can rule the wold with that power.
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Well shit, I wasn’t planning on assassinations but some people already behave like they have a baguette up their ass, and this could be improved.
So you can’t even displace air?
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Again, space occupied by air is not empty.
It contains air.
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So… how thin does it air have to be? Does it only work on a mountain top? Are tastebuds affected by low air pressure?
omg FRENCH ONION SOUP EVERYDAY
If the ability has some range, become the weirdest assassin ever as I summon baguettes inside folks windpipes, lungs, hearts, and/or skulls.
Can you do this to all the billionaires?
If he can’t, summoning a baguette and forcefully shoving it up their noses is perfectly valid
Pass myself off as Jesus Christ
All good until someone expects you to do the same with wine and fish.
I’d just say something preachy and berate them for not being content and convinced with just the bread
I contact every James Rand-type paranormal debunker that I can find and explain my power to them. I agree to all of their terms and agree to demonstrate it to them under whatever tightly controlled absolutely perfectly sterile conditions they want.
And I do it for them, claim my prize money, and continue on with my life.
My power is to summon a baguette, not unlimited baguettes, so I gotta make that one count and I think that’s my best to get the most bang for my buck.
Or if I get to decide where exactly that baguette is summoned to, perhaps I will have it spring into existence occupying the same space as [REDACTED]'s brain stem. Having them out of the picture would greatly enrich my life.
