Something I’ve heard in different ways goes something like this: A young man wanted a bike so he prayed to his god for a bike but never got it. So he stole the bike and prayed for forgiveness.

You already know the answer to your question. The (rhetorical) question now, is what will you do going forward?

I’ll tap in for Brother Bear!

What are you trying to solve here beyond indulging guilt? Your last sentence is outright asking to be told you’re bad. If you want validation or excuse for that you can go to confession or seek diagnosis (which might fairly fit into your plan, I’m not judging).

You say, “If you steal from someone … saying sorry doesn’t do much for me because if you were sorry, you wouldn’t have done it in the first place.” I hear, “avoidance”. Apologies are promises, commitments, and covenants, not regret and remorse. Simply Feeling Bad is the relinquished barfly’s philosophy and doesn’t accomplish much but prolonging the bad feeling.

Talking anonymously online or in person can be a healthy start to validate and work through both the stealing and the secrecy, but growing beyond those releases all The Stuff so you can exist honestly and authentically with your pack.

Okay I don’t have any advice except this:

If you have to steal, please only steal from big corporate chain stores, not the small bussiness.

Also, be careful, cameras are everywhere these days.

I’m not judging the act of theft, just where you steal from. Please only steal from the rich.

You are a very good person, because you are reflective of your past, conscious of your actions, and have morals that gave you the guilt that you feel. You’re alright little one.

You gotta talk to a psych and get diagnosed

I would be careful of talking to professionals under the current administration. Good people sometimes do bad things, bad people sometimes do good things. Under any other administration prior, I would have agreed with seeking professional help. Now not so much. But you can overcome this. It’s not necessarily going to be easy, but you can.

I used to steal a lot when I was a teen, mostly for the thrill. We grow and we mature and we change. It sounds like you’re becoming a better person and also watching out for your future. That’s commendable.

I agree with another user who suggested therapy. I’ve been in therapy most of my life (with some gaps) starting when I was the teen who was constantly getting arrested and causing trouble. It switched from a thing I was forced to do and became a thing that I do to help realize my goals in adulthood. Example: figured out why I was still angry about a thing from years ago and successfully put it behind me in a recent session.

Maybe you don’t need to speak to someone. That’s fine, too. Your brain is still developing. If you succeed in not stealing any more and you pay back your brother perhaps it’s all fine. But again, I think there’s value in understanding the compulsion if you still feel it but aren’t acting on it.

You’re not a shitty person. If you go back to stealing, you’ll be something of a shitty person. But if it’s a phase you’ve outgrown and you try to make it right, that’s called being young and stupid. We all go through it to some degree in our own ways. Focus on your future and on being a good person each day. It’s fine.

Robin Hood is a thief. You’re not a bad person. I get it. I have enough money and sometimes I have the urge to steal. It would be terrible to get caught because I have an exemplary function at work, to my children, in my surroundings… You have to consider whether it’s worth it. The fact that you ask the question is a good thing.

I get why you would feel like a bad person. You stole and that’s easily considered wrong. Feeling bad about that is natural.

I think you are allowed room for mistakes. And if something is a habit it is good to be kind to yourself. Cleaning up a long held bad habit can take longer than we expect.

My advice is that sometimes we realize we want to live differently, and that’s awesome. You obviously want to give back and be kind to people. You are also very young and impulse control is a bitch. It doesn’t finish developing till late 20s.

You’ll make more mistakes in the future. You’ll realize you’ve hurt people and that’s okay, that’s life. Just keep adjusting and don’t be too hard on yourself.

Fundamentally, your question is “does it make me a bad person if I have done bad things?”, which is so complicated that people make entire philosophies and religions out of the answers to that, haha.

My view: you can be a good person who has done bad things, if you change your behavior and try to make amends. That doesn’t mean everyone has to accept or forgive you, but it’s a necessary part of being a good person.

There are no good and bad people. People are just people, with all the complexity that involves.

But if you feel this concern then it’s probably a sign to talk to a mental health professional.

Seek a therapist. Some universities offer their students counseling for free if you can’t afford it.

Feel free to call me a pos

this feels like a trap

There isn’t anything inherently wrong with stealing if you need to, but in our society, you’ve done some things that are socially unacceptable. However, you can’t change the past so don’t worry about it. People do dumb shit when they’re young. You can only change your behavior to better yourself and your neighbors in the future. Be better tomorrow than you were today.

“What is better: to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?”

• Paarthurnax

Stealing as a compulsion is a psychological issue it’s nothing to feel bad about as you have no control over it, just a) do the best you can to NOT do that and b) as a college student, you should have assistance available to you to help out. It might be worth talking to a counsellor about it or see of the school offers psych services.

Failing that, in the US, under Obamacare, you’re covered under your parents health insurance until you turn 26, it would be worth seeing what services are available there.