I don’t usually ever talk about things like this, especially to strangers and I will probably delete it eventually but….
I’m 21. And from like age 8-20 I had a problem with stealing. And it was not because I necessarily needed to but I would usually just take candy from stores. Only time I took something I actually needed were some batteries and a phone charger but nothing beyond just that. I also took money from my classmates lockers and I even once almost took someone’s iPod, but I was so afraid that I ended up giving it back the next day. But what’s even worse is the fact that I have taken some of my brother’s birthday/Christmas money that he keeps in a stash. Rough estimate at least $250. And yes I do feel horrible about it all. And I wish I could go back and time and have never done it to begin with. Fast forward to now I have successfully fought off the urge to shoplift because I know how bad it can be for your career if you get caught. I’m currently a full time college student so I don’t work. My dad gives me a certain amount of spending money every week to kind of help me with it. And no I haven’t told him because we do have a good relationship and he’s one of the closest people to me. And I have been putting a bit of it back in my brother’s stash as restitution. I appreciate any advice. Feel free to call me a pos as well.
I used to steal a lot when I was a teen, mostly for the thrill. We grow and we mature and we change. It sounds like you’re becoming a better person and also watching out for your future. That’s commendable.
I agree with another user who suggested therapy. I’ve been in therapy most of my life (with some gaps) starting when I was the teen who was constantly getting arrested and causing trouble. It switched from a thing I was forced to do and became a thing that I do to help realize my goals in adulthood. Example: figured out why I was still angry about a thing from years ago and successfully put it behind me in a recent session.
Maybe you don’t need to speak to someone. That’s fine, too. Your brain is still developing. If you succeed in not stealing any more and you pay back your brother perhaps it’s all fine. But again, I think there’s value in understanding the compulsion if you still feel it but aren’t acting on it.
You’re not a shitty person. If you go back to stealing, you’ll be something of a shitty person. But if it’s a phase you’ve outgrown and you try to make it right, that’s called being young and stupid. We all go through it to some degree in our own ways. Focus on your future and on being a good person each day. It’s fine.