Also a guy here. Since I’ve known that some people are sexually attracted to the same gender, I was curious about myself. So over the years I tried to sleep with two other guys, always in the presence of woman so I had something to fall back to just in case. And I learned that I do find some other guys attractive but I’m not into sex with them.

Everyone, and I think probably especially intellectual people, questions their sexuality (am I attracted to the opposite gender in some way?) and at least their gender expression (am I masculine / feminine enough?) to some extent. It’s no different for a lot of people I think than imposter syndrome and can be tied to a lack of self confidence.

Everyone is also capable of fantasizing about, basically, whatever, and enjoying it, without the fantasy or enjoyment having to mean anything about how they feel about themselves or how others will feel about them.

Also, sexual preference, as kinks and fetishes, develop and change in men at least until some surprising age, like, into your 50s. Like you could live your entire life identifying and living as a one thing and by fifty-five be identifying as something else. I think, and I’m not sure yet, be that’s just life. Most people who don’t live in a safe space bubble and don’t leave their home town or school aged friend group have to reinvent themselves multiple times in life.

Also also, sexual pleasure and gratification is a full body and mind experience and it’s possible that different partners stimulate and gratify different parts of that experience, even different encounters with the same partners. And none of that has to be carried around with you as if it changes anything about who you are or how you should be treated.

And lastly, it’s fine to treat this person and anyone else in a positive and fun way for both of you. It could be that this person expresses themselves femininely and so your instinct is to be a little different, whether that’s with more compassion and tenderness and even flirty, and I would say confusion is probably a very healthy and intelligent, internal reflex to something like this that is new to you.

And finally, anyone that says the Roman Empire collapsed because of all the fucking without making babies is a right cunt. If society collapses because of who any of us are fucking then it was coming either way.

I have a sort of extreme opinion, but I don’t believe anyone is 100% straight or 100% gay. (But I don’t believe people should call themselves bi just because they’re 99% straight or 99% gay.) I just think there are way too many people in the world to definitively say you’d never fall for someone of a certain gender.

I am bisexual. But that’s a bit of an oversimplification. I’m definitely attracted to femininity regardless of gender expression (“femboys”) and find masculine women attractive (“tomboys”), but it’s rare that I find masculine men attractive. My attraction to men in general is pretty rare and usually more like demisexuality. But it feels like such an insane mouthful to say that I’m gynessexual but buromantic because even then that’s still not really giving the whole picture. So I just say I’m bi.

I found out I was bi in my mid/late 20s, I don’t really remember when. Looking back on some of my friendships with boys in highschool I wonder if some of them I actually was romantically attracted to. As a kid I had a very difficult time knowing when I had a crush on someone, so there is precedent for me having crushes on boys in highschool and not realizing.

I’ll close with this. There’s nothing wrong with being “heteroflexible”. I used to call myself that before I started calling myself bi. There’s nothing wrong with being straight and calling yourself straight and liking a guy. (Insofar as long as you aren’t lying about it.) Sexualities are just labels to help us better communicate our preferences in an easy way. Don’t let the words define your attractions. Let yourself decide what you’re interested in and then worry about what label to use later. 💜

It could be a romantic however not necessarily a sexual attraction (aesthetic attractions also exist). I’m asexual, but still have romantic and aesthetic attractions to people.

Nah.

Who cares? If you like him, and he likes you, go have some fun. If you like it with him, do it again with him. If you like it in general, do it again with other guys as well.

If you don’t like it, don’t do it again, wt least until the next time you feel curious

Don’t let weirdo’s dictate.thst you can’t have fun with being curious, don’t feel the need to label everything

Yes I’ve seen Jason Mamoa.

I think that in reality, every human can relate to this post. Straight, gay, bi, asexual. You meet a person that makes you go “what the fuck is happening?”.

My opinion is that it doesn’t really mean (or necessarily equate) that you want to have sex with the person. For myself, I consider myself to be heterosexual although I wish I was bisexual. I do however consider myself to be biromantic, and could very well see myself in a relationship with someone of the same gender. The difference is that when I’ve envisioned or been close to trying the sex part, I get actually physically nautious. Not to say “gays make me sick” but, uh 😂😂 Me personally having gay sex makes me sick.

I spent years questioning my orientation because of how rare and mild my attraction to men was. It wasn’t until I started hormones and it went away completely before I realized definitively that yeah I had been attracted to men.

My question for you is, do your labels matter more, or your desires? And it’s ok to use the questioning label

First, romantic attraction isn’t the same as sexual attraction. Do you want to spend time with them or fuck them?

Second, honestly I somewhat wish I was attracted to men, but I’m not. I’ve known gay/bi men who are attractive, but I’m not attracted to. I’m not off put by men by any means, but there’s zero sexual attraction to them for me. If this isn’t the case for you, then you may be interested in men but repressing it because you haven’t considered it before.

This is something you have to figure out for yourself. Consider the idea of sleeping with them and if that idea is interesting to you then I guess you’ve learned something new about yourself. Just like being attracted to women doesn’t mean you’re attracted to all women, the same is true for men and maybe you just hadn’t met a man that does it for you until now.

You’re allowed to have romantic feelings to people you’re not sexually attracted to! Been through something similar on my journey, what I thought was attraction was envy and had the oops I’m trans moment, and turns out I’m kinda not sexually attracted to people’s bodies. Still attracted to people, but for who they are and how they act rather than for what they look like. This really helped me figure out my attraction to men, because obviously I felt different about them than women and didn’t have the feelings about them physically (gender envy in disguise) but still had feelings for them, without that physical attraction. Ended up hooking up with some guys and liked it/them. Certainly not suggesting this is the case with you, just… Attraction, romantic and sexual, are complicated things, and it’s ok to not have it all figured out. Just try to keep an open mind for yourself, it’s a lot easier to question yourself and reflect when all answers are acceptable, you know?

You’re gonna get sampling bias from the responses here. I guess you should ask why you care about asking this question. If you always liked apples but all of a sudden there’s a type of orange you like, would you question why you like this orange, or would you just accept that you like this type of orange, or maybe you like both apples and oranges. If you both you like each other, and want something then that’s all that should matter.

I took me a really long time and a lot of confusion to figure out that I’m ace

Romantic attraction and sexual attraction can often be different. It’s just society says you can’t have sex with people you aren’t romantically involved with, and once you’re romantically involved with someone, you can’t have sex with others. That’s totally unfair IMHO. You should be able to have a romantic relationship with someone and not expect sex and then be able to have sex with others who are interested in sex. This is why asexual people have a hard time with monogamy and have to pretend to be into sex because otherwise they can’t have a relationship with someone they love.

Quite honestly, I never questioned my sexuality. Naturally, I’ve been attracted to others before, I can recognize this feeling quite clearly. Which labels others put on me because of that really don’t matter to me, so I don’t think about them. I simply go for it if I feel attraction.

Of course, only go for it if you’re single and while it never applied to me or you in this case, don’t go for illegal things. If something like bestiality or pedophilia ever came up I would start questioning myself and consider therapy.