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They died. At very crucial points in my life. My dad 4 years ago, i mom 1.5 months ago.
Its litterally the worst thing they ever did.
I’m sorry for your loss.
I comfort myself with the idea that it must be harder to lose a child. I suppose that will have to be enough :(
I love my parents. We did what we could to get by. Sometimes thet means pushing the expiration dates on food. This lead me to associate meat with illness. I ended up becoming a vegetarian at a very young age; before I knew what that even was. Meat still grosses me out to this day.
Interesting how experiences shape us. Glad it sounds like you have mainly positives with respect to your parents.
Yes, no regrets there.
Mom took the door off my room due to her not trusting me? Smoked a lot of weed but never ever in their sight or in the house. All I did was sit on my computer in my room. Absolutely horrible experience.
She ended up putting the washer and dryer in there with me too…
Your mom had plumbing installed to run the washer in your room?
Yup, right into the back of the closet. They removed the doors and tucked the machines in there.
That’s a lot of work. Why did they do that?
For some reason she didn’t enjoy going downstairs, and I guess this was their ideal spot for it upstairs lol
Their struggles with alcoholism led to me becoming an alcoholic, which nearly killed me multiple times, and did end up killing my mom before she was 60.
Fortunately I got sober a year before she passed. I’d have almost certainly drank myself to death had I not.
Their utter disregard for me as a person, as demonstrated in particular by the sudden violent outbursts and beatings, was not a great time. Probably the worst, though, was when they disowned me. They apparently didn’t like what they had made.
I was going to write a lot of stuff about my own experience, but then I decided that it wasn’t worth writing and getting my identity exposed, so I’ll say “same”, minus the disowning part, because I come from a collectivist society. My failure as an mid-20s adult is theirs to blame, because that’s how broken I am, and I still can’t cope with the past. Tough-love my ass.
My mother passive aggressively bullied me regarding potential love interests to the point I was absolutely terrified of even mentioning boys from my class as dealing with her unfounded teasing was unbearable. This didn’t help at all with my romantic relationships, I was always lacking in support in the area as I turned the topic into a taboo during my adolescent years, at home in particular.
As for my father it’s not much what he did but what he didn’t do. He’s one of the smartest men I’ve ever met, he is good at managing his finances and networking yet he never gave me much support or pushed me to achieve anything in these areas - when he did it was briefly in the form of criticism. Again, this also snowballed into an adulthood problem I’m still grappling with.
I’m a guy but I had a very similar experience with my mother basically making it an embarassment to talk or let alone date anyone. I missed out on a lot of things before I realized that what was going on wasn’t normal.
And then they wonder why you don’t tell them things about your life, like what your hobbies are (if you are even able to enjoy hobbies anymore) or what you’re enjoying.
I do have hobbies and enjoy them, but I tend to hide everything from them, even meaningless things.
What pisses me off mostly is how much I missed out on when I was younger for her stupid ideas, things like “you want a wife from your city”, “but she’s black!” (yes, I’m into black women), “he’s gay, if you go out with him everyone will think you’re gay”, “the trip is too long”, shit like that…
That’s horrible and a great way at making sure your child hides their love life and possibly makes impulsive and dangerous decisions.
My parents pulled out a pack of condoms from my toiletries bag one time I visited for the weekend during university and my dad mocked me for having them.
That first paragraph pretty much summarizes my love life, fortunately I’m not one for dangerous but plenty of stupid.
I’m sorry that happened to you. I know the feeling :(
Really doesn’t sound bad at all compared to most people out there. Especially without concrete examples.
This isn’t a contest. OP asked what was the worst, and this is it for me. It’s damaging enough for me, and it’s very hard to give concrete examples because it was damage over time. Personality also plays a role; it’s possible that other kids in my shoes wouldn’t have felt this as something too damaging, everyone is different.
Both my parents have been very supportive and nurturing in almost every other aspect but those I mentioned. I know there are some horrific stories out there, I hope yours isn’t one of them.
My mom died.
My father taught me to hate myself.
Goes to show that most people aren’t ready to be parents and need a good hard look at their life before getting into that, as well as at least some sort of parenting education.
My dad dropped me on my face from about 4 feet high (Not joking)
What, uh… what answers were you expecting in here, OP?
I remember my dad slapping me in the face for pronouncing “water” like an American. A bunch of odds and ends like that.
Based
On my 18th birthday I wanted to go out and spend the day with friends. My parents said they didn’t want me to and they wanted me to stay home. I said I was 18 and an adult and I wanted to spend my birthday out with my friends.
I leave and enjoy a few hours until I get a phone call from my dad. He says “Come home immediately, there’s been a huge accident with mom and your youngest brother. We need you home ASAP”.
I rush home in a panic, spent an hour on the way home preparing myself for the possibility that half my family had died.
Only to find out that he had “played a joke on me” to get me to come home as a power move. No accident. No ambulance, no injuries.
“You think you’re an adult but I will ALWAYS be in charge of you” was what he said.
I’m 30 now and haven’t spoken to him in over a decade. I don’t think much about him since he’s pathetic, but when I do, I imagine that he’s rotting alone and unable to manipulate other peoples physchology and emotions 🙂
That’s psychotic.
My parents weren’t bad parents. They did their absolute best to raise me coming from trauma themselves. They still don’t even know they suffer from it. Their trauma made me feel like I was not good enough. However, I will pass intrinsic value and compassion on to my kids.
Birthed me. Then they had the audacity to celebrate it each year there after.
On the bright side, life is a terminal STD with 100% mortality rate
Mom divorced my abusive alcoholic father and married a man from England. I was 14 but she figured I had the maturity to know it would be ok if I stayed with him instead of moving to England with her and my brother. I was angry at her because I was 14 and dumb. She left me in the US and gave me no end of guilt for making my choice once a grew up a bit and realized I made a mistake. Once she and her husband moved back to Oklahoma I took a position in California and now I’m guilted for that at the age of 42 because she can’t see my daughter whom she never bothered to spend anytime with anyway because of her constant depression about having married another different kind of abusive man.
Public humiliation and forcing me to distribute my hard earned savings to people watching, because neighbourhood kid threw an apple at a rich persons house and I was nearby and didn’t do anything.
