I will be the first person to tell you that I am not a snake person (it’s very much a me problem not them) but knowing that she was scared on the bus coming home from the vet breaks my heart. I’m sure she is a very sweet baby

That’ll go great with my gallon of PCP

Excuse me, this is clearly a tiger

Game on. I own a bag of wire nuts and I know how to use them.

Return the slab…

Lungs were a mistake

Do you want “Planet of the Rats?” Because that’s how you get “Planet of the Rats”

Top tip: add in some powdered sugar. In addition to adding some sweetness, powdered sugar has cornstarch in it which will act as a thickener making for a more unctuous mouthfeel

Surprising to see a Ticonderoga Sequoia coaster

Here is a great PSA for these trying times regarding what things are illegal to say. https://youtu.be/rUft70iHHdM

Wait, you’re telling me that trump lacks a fundamental understanding of California’s hydrology and is just lying to get what he perceives as a political win? That doesn’t sound like him at all.

Do I need to say /s?

I’m also in for being best friends

I’m sorry, were you talking to me?

A set of keys that will open most of the doors in a certain national park. Turns out “government use only. Do not duplicate” doesn’t mean a whole lot to a crooked locksmith. My plan is to go test and see if they still work when I’m an old man. I won’t be surprised if they do

Change your car’s oil often

Yes this is definitely something to keep on top of but don’t feel the need to do it too too often ex. Once a month assuming you drive a normal amount. Check the manual in your glove box and stick the recommended service interval. It should list miles driven and a length of time. Change it at which ever of those come first.

Be unremarkable but no so unremarkable as to be in and of itself remarkable

Damn Alan’s bad boy identical twin brother who rides a motorcycle!

Maybe not the worst but the most recent one is my father in law. You know the type: baby boomer who had every advantage growing up but didn’t avail himself but still managed to eke out a comfortable life while working at the business his dad started and he inherited. He doesn’t take in the bucks but it allows him and my mil to own a comfortable home in an area that is only going up in value. Anyway…

As you can imagine super religious, super right wing, trump loving, gay hating (has a gay brother that he’s estranged from), you know… the usual. What gets me is remember trump did an interview a week or two ago where he said that all federal employees are “crooked and dishonest and must be held accountable”? He couldn’t agree more! Guess who my wife (his daughter) and I work for? Yeah…

I got to sit in one of the Batman Begins tumblers that was used for filming the movie(s). I used to work where I had easy access to one and early one morning when nobody was around I figured out how to open the door (hatch really over the driver seat) and climbed in. How cool it looked on the outside was unfortunately inversely proportional to how comfortable it was on the inside. Picture a NASCAR car and you’re most of the way there. Neat experience

Oh and also OP’s mom…