• southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    Heck yeah. Mind you, I respect other people’s contact preferences and don’t push a hug on anyone. Made that mistake some in my younger days, but realized it was shitty behavior eventually.

    But I hug the hell out of anyone I care about enough to call friend or family. I’m a hugger, that’s just how I am.

    I got lucky tbh. My dad wasn’t particularly huggy, but he always welcomed us kids when we hugged him. And I had one uncle that was never a hugger, and would avoid them when he could. But otherwise, the men in my life growing up were comfortable with demonstrative affection. Hugs, putting an arm around you, pats on the back, gentle pats on the head, just those little touches that say “I love you” in a way that doesn’t need words because they’re done without thinking, they just reach out and that connection happens.

    Oh! And kisses on the top of the head. Big thing on my mom’s side for the men to kiss kids on the top of the head.

    My dad was more of the sort to put an arm around you when you sat beside him, but he knew the power of a hug when someone is upset and never hesitated to do so, despite not really liking hugs much. And he was definitely a patter lol. Pats on the head, on the back, just affection by touch.

    So, by the time I was a teenager, I was without much of a barrier to hugs. Never got indoctrinated with the stiffness and emotional distance that comes with that barrier. My friend group in high school, we hugged every damn day, usually multiple times a day. We’d meet in the library of a morning and as each of us rolles in, a round of hugs would happen. We’d freely express love for each other verbally too. And not even in the forced jocular “love ya bro” way that started being more acceptable back then. But full on “I love you, I’ll see you tomorrow” type goodbyes.

    Shit, some of us would hug our teachers, when they’d let us. Obviously, most of them would not allow it, but there were a couple that didn’t mind. Gods! The principal! Old guy, retired at the end of my senior year. Handing out diplomas at graduation, and shaking hands. Every one of our group just took the diploma and hugged the guy. He was shocked by it, but he knew how we were, and ended up just smiling for the rest of the ceremony. After the first few of us did it, other students not in our group did it too. He was a superb principal, and was sorely missed.

    Imo, there is nothing that builds and maintains healthy relationships like regular hugging.

    This is already long, but you mentioned other forms of contact. Snuggling depends on the person, but I gladly snuggle with friends if they’re down for it. Can’t play wrestle what with my age and bad back, but used to.

    And I’m down with cheek kisses with friends too. Hell, I don’t even object to non sexual lip kisses in theory, though it isn’t a thing that happens very often. Only times it ever happened with male friends was in moments of distraction when saying goodbyes in a group that included spouses lol.

    • Wahots@pawb.socialOP
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      1 year ago

      All of these responses are super interesting and run a much wider gamut than I was anticipating. Very nice to see, and makes me happy. :)

  • FireWire400@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    While I don’t really care if it’s socially acceptable or not I found it far too awkward to hug other people for the longest time, even close friends. I have opened up to it more in the last few years but I still don’t just hug someone without asking their consent first.

    If I like someone, hugging them just feels great.

  • A Phlaming Phoenix@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    I am bisexual and somewhat poly. With some of my friends I have a more publicly physical/intimate relationship. We may hold hands, hug, or kiss. I’m private, we cuddle and… do other things as well. I imagine the straights of Lemmy will largely tell you they don’t cuddle their male friends while the queer folk will give a different answer.

    • Wahots@pawb.socialOP
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      1 year ago

      It’s been a much more diverse range of comments than I anticipated. It’s very heartening to see. :)

  • skeletorfw@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Yup, it depends on the person but at least in my life many male friends are physically affectionate. Admittedly some of these are affectionate via general sparring, which started in our teens and never went away.

  • LallyLuckFarm@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Oh sure. Not all of them, certainly, but a good number of friends and I will hug to say hello/goodbye. Some of those guys prefer the handshake-bro-hug variety, others go in for the full bear hug. A handful of them, my oldest friends, are comfortable with cuddling, snuggling, or other non-hug physical contact so that’ll happen on the occasions we get to see each other.

  • ristoril_zip@lemmy.zip
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    1 year ago

    Is the implication here that adult women snuggle/wrestle with their friends? Outside of porn videos?

    • Alice@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      Wrestling, I’m not sure about, but a lot of people platonically snuggle. A lot of it is cultural and also down to your upbringing, but not everyone sees physical affection as something you can only get out of romantic relationships.

    • Wahots@pawb.socialOP
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      1 year ago

      Not necessarily. I’ve noticed female friends tend to be much more adept at physical affection on the whole. Men tend to have a much wider range, with some hugging you (male) like a 2x4, whereas others shimmy over to you and rest their head or arm around you on a chairlift.

      Mostly, I wanted to hear how male-male friends and family treated each other physically, without the complication of SOs or romantic partners fuzzing the responses (since people tend to already be physically affectionate with romantic partners).

      It’s been really interesting to hear, the responses are much more diverse than I was expecting, and it’s really heartwarming to see.

  • phdepressed@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    Hugging, yeah. My joints(knees, shoulders, back) are too fucked for what play wrestling is between guys, I forget that when I see my brother after a while but I get reminded right quick. No snuggling, but I’m also not usually on a couch when we hang, still probably not.

  • Neomega@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Occasionally get rowdy with some light punching, has devolved into some wrestling until someone’s hurt. Happens less as we have gotten older and we don’t bounce up off the floor and shake it off like we used to. Hugs with other guys are limited to a friend’s uncle and his husband.

  • verdigris@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    Hugging, definitely. No playful wrestling since high school, and what there was there was definitely more motivated by competition and testosterone than affection.

    As for snuggling, I wouldn’t want to snuggle with anyone that I didn’t have at least some sexual attraction to, unless I was in serious emotional distress and just needed it for the reversion to childhood. So I don’t snuggle with guys. I don’t know of many straight women who snuggle with their platonic friends either, beyond like sharing a blanket for a movie.

  • MudMan@fedia.io
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    1 year ago

    I don’t do that with anybody, normally. People of all genders will sometimes give you a hug here if it’s been a while or if they’re happy to see you. Cheek kissing is mostly a women thing, though.