Not really me. A friend of mine is moving out of state. His neighbor has been a total dick the entire time he’s lived there. Constantly commenting on how my friend’s yard isn’t as good as his. Mean to my friend’s wife and kids for no reason. Just an asshole of a person.
What are some ideas for fun pranks my friend can leave behind?
If you wanna spend money, glitter mail. or if its a house, set up a flood light pointed at their house and set it up on a random timer for only at night and blast them with “security” lighting.
Attract tons of wild life with the food you need to get rid of.
Sign up for grindr and start sending people their way.
Learn the noise ordinance laws and maximize that to the fullest for a short period
Stand on the property line constantly and try looking through their windows, or watch them, if they approach, quickly leave (don’t enter their property)
Sign them up for stuff. Especially if you can find their email through LinkedIn etc.
Or, just move on since they will be out of your life regardless, don’t spend your energy on them,they aren’t worth it
Edit: Actually rather than grindr, send scalpers, leave good people out of these shenanigans
Everything except the Grindr one. Endangering people is never cool.
Yeah, I added that edit pretty immediately
When I was a kid in a second world country, you would put yeast in his latrine. That would teach him.
Unfortunately, that is probably no longer applicable.
in a second world country
So…somewhere in tbe Soviet bloc in the 80s 9r before?
What would it do?
Ideally, frothing, bubbling and overflow :) Or at least vile gases.
Ha ha thanks!
Make his house the most famous house in the state:
You want to ruin someone’s life? Plant some fucking greenbriar on the property. Genus Smilax. Thorny vines that grow from rhizome-like tubers in the ground. Grows a little slower than kudzu but I’d rather be around kudzu. Harder to eradicate than white supremacy. Once it’s got it’s little tumors in your soil, it’s over forever. It’ll sent shoots out just under the grass to spread out like strawberries. If you get both genders of the plant in one place, the females will grow berries that the birds eat and then they’ll shit the seeds everywhere, the complicit little fuckpukes. If you don’t dig up ALL the plant, it’ll just grow back harder. I’ve seen them strangle a dogwood tree to death. They’ll grow 40 feet high if they’ve got something to climb. There is no commercial, medical or craft use for them. The leaves have a waxy coating that protects them from herbicide. I haven’t tried fire yet but it probably won’t work.
Spread dandelion seeds. You can buy them online and literally just toss them everywhere and he will never be rid of them. Or kudzu Vine that shit never goes away
Don’t intentionally spread invasive plants, local ecosystems have it hard enough as it is.
Can spread to other neighbors’ yards. I like the fertilizer idea because it doesn’t spread.
You can get them in pink and white too! As an extra fuck you over the normal yellow which can happen on their own.
Make seed bombs of pink dandelions and launch them before a storm.
Side note; I want pink dandelions but I’m sure my neighbors would hate me… but I also have an asshole neighbor and I’ve totally thought about seeding his property with them and letting them spread to mine…. I won’t do it, because cameras, but I want to so much.
Let Scientology and the Jehovah’s witnesses know he’s interested in knowing more. Do the same with military recruiters.
Sign him up to receive junk mail from sex toy stores. Use his name and his neighbors’ addresses. Maybe try to get travel brochures sent to him for countries known for sex tourism.
I get junk mail addressed to a Pablo Picasso at my address periodically.
Stop being a dick to your neighbors
I keep to myself, so I have no idea what I could’ve done to piss them off. I also get periodic mail for the previous homeowner, despite me living here for almost 7 years.
That never happened to… Pablo Picasso!
If you are very evil, sign him up to recieve questional stuff, but use your other neighbor’s adresses. Ideally not something that will be repeatedly spammed at them.
Nah, that only works in super close-knit, small town communities.
I don’t know any of my neighbor’s last names and I’ve lived here for 12 years. I’m in a semi-small town. I know my direct neighbors first names, and that’s about it, because anything more is unnecessary.
If I got something sent to a random name at my address, I’d treat it the same way as junk mail addressed to me; recycled without a second thought. I still get stuff for 3 other former residents, including pension stuff, despite being here over a decade so…
In the middle of the night, take a bunch of nitrogen fertilizer and lay out a “Fuck You!” message on his lawn. Water it into the ground.
The message won’t appear for months until after you move away.
How does it’s science work? Can you elaborate.
Magnets
Just makes grass grow greener and faster where the fertilizer has been placed. Put too much down and it will “burn” the grass and kill it.
Hahahahah, gold
Draw a big dick in the lawn
With salt for a delayed and long lasting effect
Roundup a big dick into the grass. Won’t show up for a week.
Nah, hot day? It’ll show up same day.
Make him a cherry pie and leave it on the porch.
Enemy pie?
Neighbor pie
This is deliciously dastardly!
Won’t it leave a smile on his face 10 miles wide…?
If Canadian, chuck a bag of milk in his eavestroughing. The heat will rot the milk and the bag will degrade in the sun till one day it fails, releasing STANK.
why is milk sold in a bag
Who hurt you?
“Gutters” for anyone else about to look up “eavestroughing”
Throw wildflower seeds (non invasive) over onto his perfectly manicured yard.
Another one is a long con: befriend crows, get them to come to your friend’s house to feed. The neighbor will likely sho them away which will aggravate them. Crows hold grudges for a REALLY long time and only shit where they don’t eat, aka his yard.
I heard of this funny trick where you put a bag of ice over the pilot light of his boiler. The boiler will put out gas until the ice melts and the pilot light comes back on.
And let’s justr say, that’s when the prank really ‘pops’ off
I too, was coming here to say “burn down his house”
No at all, this is just a tee her little prank
Can the ice be a piss disk?
Anything that can freeze will work. But go for more of a cube or sphere shape so it stays frozen for longer, it pranks them harder in the end
Plant a single piece of bamboo in a little used area near his lawn. By the time he notices it. He will never get rid of it
I live in Japan and I just go over any that pops up with the lawnmower like I would normal grass. Unless you let it get big, you won’t even notice it was there.
Doesn’t that leave hard little bamboo blades sticking out at grass level, waiting to stab you into the feet when you walk barefoot?
I have murder hornets and a number of biting insects and venomous snakes and toads. I’m also allergic to grass. No barefoot walking for me.
That said, I’ve never noticed any. There are multiple varieties of bamboo with a number of different strengths and properties.
Edit: forgot venomous spiders.
Remind me again why you live where you do?
It’s otherwise fantastic. More specifically, I wanted to farm and move somewhere cooler than Tokyo, particularly in light of global temperatures rising.
So you moved to Australia? :D
Haha, I considered making that reference as well. Rural Japan do be like that, though
Yes, but if it doesn’t match the lawn he’s growing it will still drive him nuts
How about mint?
Bamboo is a gift for everyone around you.
I don’t know what kind of neighborhood it is but sprinkling cat food or something like that everywhere would probably attract something. Your friend could even do it to his own yard. I’d be weirded out if my neighbor moved and suddenly his yard had 25 raccoons in it.
Sign up for a bunch of free magazine subscriptions, like Wisconsin cheese, harbor freight, etc and put his address on it. He’ll be inundated with junk mail.
