Bag of Olding: A very generously sized bag of holding, however it unfortunately speeds up the passage of time significantly inside it. Don’t store food in it!
Harder tack: Magically compressed ships biscuits, commissioned by an admiral who heard of lembas bread but found it too expensive. His corpse was found in the harbour waters a week later.
One contains enough calories to last you a week of hard work, but you need a chisel and a sledgehammer to crack it into pieces and one hand-sized biscuit weighs 3kg. It tastes like cement dust.
Scroll of Gorilla Warfare. When used summons 15 gorillas. These gorillas are wild and do not obey orders given by the caster.
A magical sword that extends, but the longer you have it, the longer the incantation you have to say to get it to extend… Maybe show it some pictures of people cleaved in two, or try stabbing somewhere else to get it going.
This sword is enchanted with fire magic!
…The handle is made of super flammable material, though, and a bunch of people got third degree burns trying to weild it. There was a massive recall.
You know what “recall” means, though? Collector’s item! These are rare af.
Amulet of speak with the dead - cursed. Once attuned the user can speak with the dead, but can only interpret chat with the living as wailing, any attempts to speak with the living will sound like wailing to the other entity. Removing the item does not break the curse.
Wand of magic missile.
Occasionally shoots cum.
OK so what’s the downside?
Flaming sword. Only the handle sets on fire.
And I’m stealing that idea for my game, and that one, and this one is cool too …
Magic rope - an animated rope that can be commanded to levitate and tie knots. When placed in any container, pouch or pocket, it immediately gets tangled up and take 1d6 minutes per 5ft of rope to untangle. Other objects in the container also become tangled with the rope, and take 1d6 minutes to remove individually, entangled objects are released immediately when the entire rope is untangled.
Magic rope is unable to be cut by any non-magical item.
Band of Gorilla Repair: Once per day, can repair anything, or rather, will summon 1d4 (can be modified depending on the size of the job) massive gorillas who show up seemingly out of nowhere whenever anything near the wearer breaks or is heavily damaged.
Those not expecting to see a bunch of repair-happy gorillas must make a fear check.
These mysterious gorillas are actually friendly and fix whatever thing was broken, but beware, their patience quickly runs out for anybody intentionally causing disrepair or destruction in their presence!
Lembas bread but it’s 1000 years past it’s due date and you will get diarrhoea equivalent to its food value.
Invisibility potion that turns your digestive track and stomach contents invisible.
Magic sword of infinite sharpness.
Sheathing the sword, or holding it by the hilt, quillons, or pommel causes it to become incredibly heavy.
Broom of Flying Yes its a broom that allows you to fly
No one ever said anything about landing The broom cannot come down lower than 30 feet from the ground. Dismounting will stop the broom and allow you to pick it up, as long as your concious from the fall
That would actually be pretty amazing for a beach holiday.
I was hoping it stays up in the air so you have to tie it like a ballon.
That makes it too easy: just attach a ropeladder to the broom. That doesn’t work if the broom stops levitating when you get off.
I missed a trick with that
Your version maybe funnier because one of the safest ways to land is to jump into water, but then the broom is in the water too.
