There’s this guy in my neighbourhood who apparently I find very attractive 😂 I didn’t realize that until recently, I always avoided him until one day I had to talk to him and I turned red and started smiling like an idiot.
This happened twice and both times, when I got home, I started crying… not because of what happened, but it felt as if I was losing something??
All I know about this “reaction” is that this guy isn’t my usual type, I just find him physically attractive and when I get home I cry and think about those guys I actually felt a lot for (mostly platonically) and it hurts 🤕 wtf
And today I was almost telling myself to “stay on track”??? Like thinking about the others and thinking “that’s the life you want, that’s what would make you happy” and just wishing this didn’t have such an effect on me.
I see others saying this too: why do you need to “stay in your lane?”
Everyone and everything possible is possible for YOU. Perhaps you are crying in mourning for the feeling of not being able to consider alternatives to what you “allow” yourself?
Beautiful :) But when crying I cry for the other guys, this one just triggers it
I myself have been ridiculously attracted to women who have the same energy as my mother, but it’s extremely bad for me because she was very abusive and that same energy is basically an indicator of mental illness.
Is it something like this? A part of you realizes this physical attraction is a path to suffering?
This has been on my mind!
I’m sorry about your mom. I’m afraid something similar happens to me too, but more with friends. I’m getting out of it, I hope you’re doing well too 💓 put feeling good and happy first.
Thinking about the guy, Let’s say that he seems a bit superficial to me, FOR NOW. Many good qualities too though.
I know this he could be very different, but still I feel as if there’s something telling about this. I myself am not the way I could be and want to be (talking about values, what I stand for, the person I want to be in this world).
He seems to live in a bubble (could turn out I’m wrong, again) or just doesn’t show those characteristics that say “open minded, free spirit” or whatever. And that would be limiting to me. And I don’t want that in my life anymore, cause it’s always little things but then a few years go by and you’re stuck and you relationships start deteriorating.
Thanks for your kind words.
To me it kinda sounds like you’re evaluating this guy in your head, like it’s a logic puzzle or essay question.
How does your gut feel about him? Just reading between the lines, I’m sensing a disconnect between your conscious and subconscious here. Do you do any practices to cultivate bodily awareness, such as meditation, yoga, spontaneous dance, anything like that?
The best advice I got, for escaping the problem of being attracted to women who were really bad for me, came from a psychotherapist. He said “You need to create an alliance with your subconscious mind”
I was able to do so, and the deal is basically:
Perhaps you secretly know you’ll end up with a guy much like this one, and are therefore crying for the others…
It’s starting to get trippy. But how can I possibly know that, what do you mean exactly? That I actually prefer him?
What I meant was (and I was being a little humorous) that your normal type is the one you’d rationally want to like intellectually and emotionally and this dude is the one you.are physically attracted to. I was thinking you were crying over the men you wanted to be similarly physically attracted to and the strong emotional reaction was a result of your surprise at how intense the physical attraction could be.
It’s OK to have more than one type and be attracted to different people for different reasons. I think you have just discovered a new aspect of your own preferences and are trying to reconcile them.