There’s this guy in my neighbourhood who apparently I find very attractive 😂 I didn’t realize that until recently, I always avoided him until one day I had to talk to him and I turned red and started smiling like an idiot.
This happened twice and both times, when I got home, I started crying… not because of what happened, but it felt as if I was losing something??
All I know about this “reaction” is that this guy isn’t my usual type, I just find him physically attractive and when I get home I cry and think about those guys I actually felt a lot for (mostly platonically) and it hurts 🤕 wtf
And today I was almost telling myself to “stay on track”??? Like thinking about the others and thinking “that’s the life you want, that’s what would make you happy” and just wishing this didn’t have such an effect on me.
Perhaps you secretly know you’ll end up with a guy much like this one, and are therefore crying for the others…
It’s starting to get trippy. But how can I possibly know that, what do you mean exactly? That I actually prefer him?
What I meant was (and I was being a little humorous) that your normal type is the one you’d rationally want to like intellectually and emotionally and this dude is the one you.are physically attracted to. I was thinking you were crying over the men you wanted to be similarly physically attracted to and the strong emotional reaction was a result of your surprise at how intense the physical attraction could be.
It’s OK to have more than one type and be attracted to different people for different reasons. I think you have just discovered a new aspect of your own preferences and are trying to reconcile them.