There’s this guy in my neighbourhood who apparently I find very attractive 😂 I didn’t realize that until recently, I always avoided him until one day I had to talk to him and I turned red and started smiling like an idiot.

This happened twice and both times, when I got home, I started crying… not because of what happened, but it felt as if I was losing something??

All I know about this “reaction” is that this guy isn’t my usual type, I just find him physically attractive and when I get home I cry and think about those guys I actually felt a lot for (mostly platonically) and it hurts 🤕 wtf

And today I was almost telling myself to “stay on track”??? Like thinking about the others and thinking “that’s the life you want, that’s what would make you happy” and just wishing this didn’t have such an effect on me.

  • intensely_human@lemm.ee
    0·
    2 months ago

    Thanks for your kind words.

    To me it kinda sounds like you’re evaluating this guy in your head, like it’s a logic puzzle or essay question.

    How does your gut feel about him? Just reading between the lines, I’m sensing a disconnect between your conscious and subconscious here. Do you do any practices to cultivate bodily awareness, such as meditation, yoga, spontaneous dance, anything like that?

    The best advice I got, for escaping the problem of being attracted to women who were really bad for me, came from a psychotherapist. He said “You need to create an alliance with your subconscious mind”

    I was able to do so, and the deal is basically:

    • I listen to and act on the information my subconscious sends me, even when I don’t consciously understand why it’s demanding some particular thing
    • It provides me with steady motivation and healthy cravings