He was my driving instructor. I’m 26 and he’s 51. On the day of my driving test he caught me looking at him twice, from across the place. He seemed surprised for a sec and then nodded to me both times. Then it felt as if he started orbiting around me, paying me more attention…

When looking at him I was realizing I had a crush on him haha just to give you an idea.

By the end he chose to make me go last for the test. Did not expect that cause yes, I was nervous but I’m a really good driver, while the other guy was like 18 and idk I think more in need…? Then he gave me a ride home and explained it was so I could avoid traffic and stuff…

Then he said “it was a way to protect you” twice, both times as if uncertain of it but it felt like too much and not spontaneous. Again, I was nervous but would have done great anyway. “Protection” seemed so out of place, is it just me?

  • Today@lemmy.world
    0·
    2 months ago

    From the info i think he was probably saw a young woman navigating a shitty system and was being protective. The DMV sucks! Maybe he has a daughter and was treating you how he would want someone to treat her. Do unto others and all…

  • ytsedude@lemmy.world
    0·
    2 months ago

    Personally, I could see this being one of two ways:

    1. Someone actually was acting creepy or dangerous, and you either didn’t pick up on it or didn’t see this person/behavior as threatening.

    2. What might be more likely is this guy making up that excuse to try and get (extra) 1-on-1 time with you. Or him trying to come off as a protector/savior, which I would consider a red flag (or at least yellow).

      • Vanth@reddthat.comEnglish
        0·
        2 months ago

        Dude, you don’t need permission to like a guy.

        Personally, men dating women to find a new mommy to care for them and women dating men to find new daddies gives me the super ick. Such unbalanced relationships are ripe for disrespect, control and abuse. That’s why I don’t do it. You do you though.

      • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
        0·
        2 months ago

        Trying to be a protector without a credible threat may mean they are controlling, possessive, abusive, or any number of other issues.

        Now, if he had said “I’m sorry if I was making you feel uncomfortable, there was that guy was acting strange and really focused on you and I was trying to make sure you were safe but couldn’t pull you aside to explain.” That is a green flag, but he didn’t explain anything.

        • Colorfulhipp@lemmy.worldOP
          0·
          2 months ago

          Nono he was explaining he did this “Then he gave me a ride home and explained it was so I could avoid traffic and stuff…” to protect me. Which seemed too much and made me wonder

                • Colorfulhipp@lemmy.worldOP
                  0·
                  2 months ago

                  Apart from physical attraction: his lifestyle, way of thinking, what he likes and values… I’m not gonna describe him but I think it’s difficult to find people like him and he also reminds me of a lot of things and people i loved in this other town I lived in… Now I’m away from them and he just reminds me of it all haha maybe it’s silly but it’s true. Add in physical attraction, which increased like crazy after this episode hahaha it made me melt 🫠 even if I think he was being what I call “innocently manipulative”

  • tobogganablaze@lemmus.orgEnglish
    0·
    2 months ago

    There isn’t much to go off here, but it seems like:

    • You have a crush on him.

    • You might have send him signals

    • He picked up on the signals

    • He said something a bit weird (but you give little context).

    I’m not sure what you’re actual question is.

      • tobogganablaze@lemmus.orgEnglish
        0·
        2 months ago

        It’s really not, because you’re not describing a problem that you need help with. So I have no idea what “helping you” means in that case.

        Was he literally “protecting” you so you “could avoid traffic and stuff”? Of course not. He very clearly aranged it so that you have some 1on1 time together. At least that’s the obvious conclusion from how you tell the story.

        So the real question is, what kind of crush do you have on him? Was it a secret crush and he accidently picked up on it and now it’s weird? Or are you interested?

        You don’t expand on what happened afterwards, but it seems like he was just akward and dropped you off at home. So nothing inapproripate happend I assume (apart from the ethical concern of re-arranging test schedules for personal reason).

          • [email protected]@sh.itjust.works
            0·
            2 months ago

            You’re asking yourself the wrong question.
            Ask yourself what you want instead: Do you really wanna know? Would you want him to be interested?

            If so, ask him, not us.

          • tobogganablaze@lemmus.orgEnglish
            0·
            2 months ago

            From the way you told your story (which might be biased) it’s very clear that he was showing interest.

              • tobogganablaze@lemmus.orgEnglish
                0·
                2 months ago

                On the day of my driving test he caught me looking at him twice, from across the place. He seemed surprised for a sec and then nodded to me both times.

                You say he “caught” you looking. That implies you were already aware that you were responsible for it. Or at least you think you were. And you might be right.

                But men can also be really stupid in this regard, so it might be conincident. I don’t know, it’s a very unique situation and I wasn’t there.

                As long as you are confident that what you told here is roughly what happened, then I’m certain that he’s interested.

  • unn@lemmy.ca
    0·
    2 months ago

    If you offered him to do you, you think he would turn that away? That should answer your question dumbfuck

      • unn@lemmy.ca
        0·
        2 months ago

        The answer is yes. You’re on your peak reproductive age. Of course he would do you. Even if he wanted to “protect” you from predators because he “cares” about you, he would still do you given the opportunity (you’re a gold mine to someone in their 50s). All humans are animals.

        • Colorfulhipp@lemmy.worldOP
          0·
          2 months ago

          Yes I know what you mean but we can be different from one another, we might make different decisions. I’m just asking if that day in particular he was making a move or just being nice

          • unn@lemmy.ca
            0·
            2 months ago

            Even if he wasn’t making a move consciously, he was doing it unconciously. That’s why you should communicate and establish expectations/boundaries if you’re in doubt.

            I’m not saying being genuinely nice doesn’t happen. I (male 20s) myself was genuinely nice to a girl who came to me out of nowhere (she wanted to to fuck me probably in retrospective) and took her to home because she walking alone at night in desolated place so I was genuinely worried for her safety. But this was because I used to be very ingenuous. Someone in their 50s definitely hasn’t the same mentality of a clueless 20yo virgin like I was.

  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
    0·
    2 months ago

    You didn’t ask him what he was protecting you from? Maybe he saw some guy who he thought was trying to prey on you.

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
        0·
        2 months ago

        The other people taking the test, presumably. I don’t know, maybe he was preying on you himself, maybe he saw someone in the testee group he thought might do something bad to you. You apparently didn’t ask him.

            • Colorfulhipp@lemmy.worldOP
              0·
              2 months ago

              “Then he gave me a ride home and explained it was so I could avoid traffic and stuff…” quoting. When saying he was protecting me that’s what he referred to.

              • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
                0·
                2 months ago

                I see. I didn’t understand that from the way it was worded.

                In that case, it sounds like he’s just a sexist asshole who think women can’t drive as well as men.

  • Vanth@reddthat.comEnglish
    0·
    2 months ago

    Does it matter? Are you ever going to see him again?

    If you want it to have been flirtatious, then it was and savor it. If you didn’t, then it wasn’t and just be careful putting yourself in positions of vulnerability.

    FWIW, I think it is wildly inappropriate for a government employee or teacher in a position of authority to engage personally with someone they have power over. Then there’s also the 2x age gap that while not illegal, has an uphill climb to be anything healthy and balanced.

  • MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net
    0·
    2 months ago

    As an older guy who offered to drive a much younger woman home for a couple of weeks, a half hour each way for me as opposed to over two hours one way on public transportation for her… yes, I was just trying to be nice. Yes, I felt like I was giving off creeper vibes. She swears that I wasn’t but I’m self conscious enough to have my doubts. Every ride occurred without incident. It was nice to be able to help someone.

  • SavvyWolf@pawb.socialEnglish
    0·
    2 months ago

    In the UK at least, after a driving test the driving instructor usually drives the student home. It’s a safety thing, because just after a test the student tends to have heightened emotions (positive or negative), which isn’t that good for safe driving.

    Not sure if that’s the case wherever you are or if there’s anything else going on, but worth considering.