He was my driving instructor. I’m 26 and he’s 51. On the day of my driving test he caught me looking at him twice, from across the place. He seemed surprised for a sec and then nodded to me both times. Then it felt as if he started orbiting around me, paying me more attention…

When looking at him I was realizing I had a crush on him haha just to give you an idea.

By the end he chose to make me go last for the test. Did not expect that cause yes, I was nervous but I’m a really good driver, while the other guy was like 18 and idk I think more in need…? Then he gave me a ride home and explained it was so I could avoid traffic and stuff…

Then he said “it was a way to protect you” twice, both times as if uncertain of it but it felt like too much and not spontaneous. Again, I was nervous but would have done great anyway. “Protection” seemed so out of place, is it just me?

  • ytsedude@lemmy.world
    0·
    2 months ago

    Personally, I could see this being one of two ways:

    1. Someone actually was acting creepy or dangerous, and you either didn’t pick up on it or didn’t see this person/behavior as threatening.

    2. What might be more likely is this guy making up that excuse to try and get (extra) 1-on-1 time with you. Or him trying to come off as a protector/savior, which I would consider a red flag (or at least yellow).

      • Vanth@reddthat.comEnglish
        0·
        2 months ago

        Dude, you don’t need permission to like a guy.

        Personally, men dating women to find a new mommy to care for them and women dating men to find new daddies gives me the super ick. Such unbalanced relationships are ripe for disrespect, control and abuse. That’s why I don’t do it. You do you though.

      • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
        0·
        2 months ago

        Trying to be a protector without a credible threat may mean they are controlling, possessive, abusive, or any number of other issues.

        Now, if he had said “I’m sorry if I was making you feel uncomfortable, there was that guy was acting strange and really focused on you and I was trying to make sure you were safe but couldn’t pull you aside to explain.” That is a green flag, but he didn’t explain anything.

        • Colorfulhipp@lemmy.worldOP
          0·
          2 months ago

          Nono he was explaining he did this “Then he gave me a ride home and explained it was so I could avoid traffic and stuff…” to protect me. Which seemed too much and made me wonder

                • Colorfulhipp@lemmy.worldOP
                  0·
                  2 months ago

                  Apart from physical attraction: his lifestyle, way of thinking, what he likes and values… I’m not gonna describe him but I think it’s difficult to find people like him and he also reminds me of a lot of things and people i loved in this other town I lived in… Now I’m away from them and he just reminds me of it all haha maybe it’s silly but it’s true. Add in physical attraction, which increased like crazy after this episode hahaha it made me melt 🫠 even if I think he was being what I call “innocently manipulative”